"I might have broken many things, but my soul mates' hearts is never gonna be one of them."
•
"You have me now."
"He means 'us'."
•
"Wait, does that mean my name is gonna be listed alongside theirs in the soul mate studies?"
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It's dark at night and I'm at the hospital. I see nothing, but hear the heart beat monitor. It's beeping to alert me of the beating heart. It's faint but it's there, the heartbeat.
Suddenly, the heart beat monitor stops beeping constantly and blanks. I see my father's face; what used to be his face. It's all distorted now.
He opens his eyes, bloodshot red and stares. I want to look away, but can't. It's as if my head has lost its capability to turn. It refuses to budge and I can't look away.
"Y/n, why?" My dad says. His voice is monotonus, but it makes goosebumps rise on my body. It's been so long since I've heard his voice, but not this voice. No.
I've heard this same voice, and seen the same thing, every single night. There's no escape from it. I can't free myself from it. I won't be able to, unless I forgive myself. It's not easy.
I don't know his meaning behind the words. But, I belive he's asking me why I had been so stubborn that day. Why I hadn't agreed to just not get the ice cream. Why I had become the cause-
♥︎❀♥︎
"Y/n, Y/n! Y/n, please wake up. Darling, it's a nightmare. Wake up please, Y/n." I jerked awake, struggling to breathe. I was sweaty all over and tears were running down my cheeks.
I felt someone slowly patting my back. I lied back down on bed and curled into the arms that were wrapped around me. "It's okay, princess. That's just a bad dream. You're okay." Hobi whispered reassuring words to me, calming me.
After a few minutes of silent comfort, he spoke. "How do you feel?" He was seeking for truth, I did not want to keep lying. I answered honestly, "I don't know."
"You kept saying- 'stop, no more, please no more', I'm not doutful you have this nightmare everynight." I nodded agreeing to his statement. "You know, I always believed that your dreams are the creation of your thoughts. You seem to let the bad thoughts take over your mind completely, and lose yourself."
I kept silent.
"I was like that too, you know?" He kissed my forehead, and went back to resting his head on mine. "You were?" I asked, ambivalent. He nodded keeping silent, probably thinking what to say next.
"I had a really hard time accepting myself. I never thought I contributed much to the group. Felt we fell behind because of me, I still don't know why. Or, I do know but do not want to accept." I felt him shrug. He sounded carefree, but I know that was not the case. I tightened my arms around him.
I wanted to ask him why he felt that way, but restrained myself. From the way he spoke, I understood it was a sensitive topic for him. I did not want to intrude. "How did you start accepting yourself?" I asked instead. I could feel him smile from on top of my head.
