𝙻𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚢 𝙼𝚎 {𝙹𝚎𝚏𝚏 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙺𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛}

Friends|| ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟙𝟘

It had now been a full week since I arrived at the mansion, I'd met almost everyone and made a few friends, I had a room of my own but it felt super empty as I currently didn't have any belongings. I was allowed to do what I wanted as long as I didn't get caught and didn't tell anyone about the mansion or it's inhabitants

I decided I was gonna try to go shopping for clothes today, I had no clue how well it was gonna work out but I was convinced, I was sick of not having my own clothes. I slipped on a a hoodie and walked out of my room, I was turning the corner to the living room when I bumped right into Jeff. I looked up at him and he looked down at me

"Hey, do you wanna come with me to the store?" I didn't really wanna go alone and he was the best person for me to go with, he shrugged "Sure, lemme get changed and get a mask." He smiled and walked past me to his room, I walked to the living room to wait for him. He got done and we headed out together

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I was just walking through isles of clothes with Jeff close behind me when I noticed F/N, I quickly turned around grabbing Jeff's hand and pulled him with me into a different isle hoping they wouldn't see us. Jeff looked down at me confused noticing my now panicked state "Hey, you ok?" I quickly shook my head, all kinds of scenarios were going through my head, none good

All I could think about is what if we get caught? Will I end up alone again? What if the empty feeling comes back? I couldn't stop my body from shaking and tears welled up in my eyes as I started to have a panic attack. Jeff pulled me into a hug, the first one he'd given me since we met, his hold was a bit tight yet so gentle

I slowly calmed down and just laid my head against his chest. He patted my back "Now, mind telling me what's wrong?" He looked down at me as we pulled away from each other. "I saw F/N and started to panic.. I'm sorry..." I looked down but Jeff just grabbed my hand "It's alright, let's keep going and just stay cautious, ok?" I nodded and we went about shopping

It wasn't until we were almost done when we bumped into F/N, I started to panic but Jeff placed his hand on my shoulder, I noticed F/N didn't seem to recognize us and just continued on with her day. I sighed and Jeff let out a soft chuckle "Calm down a bit" and with that we finished and headed back to the mansion

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I sighed as I plopped down on the couch, Jeff sat down at my feet with a chuckle "Happy to be back?" I nodded with a content sigh. I sat up and looked over at him, I noticed recently that everytime I'm around him I feel safe, I feel happy which isn't normal for me, I feel warm inside and I feel the need to constantly stay beside him

I feel my cheeks heat up a bit, these feelings feel so foreign to me, so weird, so new. It wasn't a bad feeling but it was extremely confusing. I stood up "I'm gonna go- talk to Clockwork or something-" I needed to talk to someone about my feelings so I could understand them better, so maybe it didn't feel so weird anymore, he nodded and I walked away to try and find Clockwork

I finally found her and put on a smile "Hey Clockwork, can I talk to you-?" She looked up at me and immediately smiled "Sure! What's up?" We sat down together in my room and I explained my feelings to her, I told her I'd never felt like this before and it was very confusing. Clockwork smiles "I think that's called love, hon" Her words startle me a bit. Love? Really? Is that even possible for me? I'd always thought I couldn't experience love considering I could almost never experience joy

I just continued to think about it for a bit and Clockwork answered any questions I had. Eventually we decided to go get some drinks and just chat. I opened up a lot to her, the first person besides Jeff I had decided to with

She was just too easy to talk to and was extremely kind, she reminded me a lot of F/N just a lot kinder and listened better. We walked to the kitchen and and raided the fridge. We passed jokes back and forth, she made me genuinely happy, almost everyone at the mansion did, it helped me feel more at home and almost safe

I hopped up onto the counter only for my good mood to be ruined by memories of my old house, and thoughts of everything I'd left behind there, I felt tears well up making Clockwork stop laughing and start worrying. I missed my parents, my home, my room, the couch, all of the stuffed animals my father had gotten me, my books, the movies, the neighbors, everything. Suddenly I felt very alone and I all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball

Clockwork put her hand on my shoulder "You ok?" I sniffled and nodded "Yeah, just feeling homesick" I said with a nervous laugh, I knew it was stupid for me to feel that way considering life felt so much better here. Clockwork nodded "Yeah, I heard about what happened that made you leave. That really must've sucked" She was trying to be comforting and it was helping a little bit, I smiled softly "Sort of, there are some pros and cons to it." I laughed softly

She smiled "Cons being Ben" That made us both burst out laughing, "Ok but seriously, I get how scary it probably is but, just try to focus on the good parts!" She smiles brightly, her cheerfulness rubbing off on me a bit, I nodded "Thank you Clockwork"