Claustrophobia (Boy x Boy) ✔

20) THE MORE THE MERRIER

*Ian Romero's POV

"It's going to be just fine." I told Cody once I noticed him fiddling his rings again. We had just walked in the university yard and I couldn't overlook the fact Cody looked paler and paler the closer we got to the classroom. 

"I'm not nervous." Cody huffed, yet he continued fidgeting all the same.

"I think you're terrified — but it's going to be just fine, believe me." I told him and although Cody scowled at me, he didn't try to deny it.

"They're all just going to.." Cody began, but in the middle of the sentence he seemed to realise he was actually talking out loud. "Forget it."

"What are they going to do?" I asked, genuinely curious to hear what Cody had in mind.

"Nothing." Cody said and waved his hand dismissively.

Then we were already walking into the classroom and I started guiding Cody towards the desks me and Ade sat at. 

"No, don't you dare to —" Cody started resisting and trying to stop walking, but I used my hand on the small of his back to doggedly guide him towards Ade.

"Hi, Ade. Cody's going to sit with us from now on, okay?" I asked and Ade lifted his gaze looking surprised.

"The more the merrier." Ade started smiling. Once we had sat down, me in the middle and a bothered looking Cody next to me, Ade continued: "It's nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you."

"Uh-huh." Cody muttered quietly and placed his book, notebook and pencil case on the desk. His blue-grey eyes glanced at the table where Bryce, Jeremy and Kaleb sat at. They were all staring at us, which seemed to bother Cody, so I just glared at the three idiots until they looked away. 

"You're one hell of a runner." Ade continued casually. Cody glimpsed at him, almost like he was trying to find out if Ade was making fun of him.

"Thanks." He said once he seemed to decide Ade was being sincere.

Cody had now met Ade, my best friend, and it was only fair that I got to know Oat, Cody's only friend, in return. Of course I had met them earlier and we had even talked, but I still knew barely anything about them.

You should have seen Oat's face, when they walked towards our table in the cafeteria. They first glanced at Cody and then me and Ade with wide eyes. 

"Hi. We've met, I'm Oat." They said to me and Ade after sitting opposite us. 

"Where have you been?" Oat turned to look at Cody and swiped a wisp of hair off Cody's face. I had a strange feeling inside my chest when I looked at them, but I pushed it aside. I was glad Cody had such a caring friend.

"Nowhere, don't worry about it. I informed the coach, and it was fine for him." Cody told them and Oat nodded slowly as if saying: if you say so.

"Are you two a couple?" Ade asked and somehow I almost managed to choke on the juice I was drinking. 

"What? No, he's a little too much a guy for my taste." Oat grinned, not at all abashed about the question. 

"Oh, right, my bad. I'm Ade BTW." Turned out Ade and Oat got along really well. They were both talkative and unaffected and they seemed to share a similar sense of humor, which was good since I was planning to make us a group.

"How does it feel to be back?" I leaned over the table closer to Cody, who had been quite untalkative the entire morning. Not that he was chatty to begin with, but I could see he was finding this new "situation" difficult to comprehend.

"Weird. It's all weird and you're weird too." That was all Cody said before he continued eating in silence. 

"Good weird, right?" I asked and when Cody still didn't say anything, I continued: "Right?"

***

I made up with Callie some days later. She seemed to relent when she heard I had missed the date, because I was helping someone and not just avoiding her. 

Apparently Callie was also on our side, because she disapproved of what Bryce and the others had done. Just so that you know, I wasn't the one who told her about the closet incident. The only person I had told was Ade, but that was because we told each other everything and I knew he wouldn't gossip about it. 

Callie heard it from Hope and Hope had heard it from Bryce. Bryce had even dared to boast about it — can you believe that guy? I think there's something seriously screwed up in his head..

"But if you forget one more date, I'm going to murder you, okay?" Callie asked and leaned closer to me. We had found a somewhat peaceful spot in the school yard. We were sitting on a bench under a big oak tree. There were some other students who still hadn't left, even though the last classes had ended a while ago. 

"I promise." I told her, still embarrassed about the fact I had forgotten her twice. 

Then she looked at me with her blue eyes — she truly was beautiful — and leaned even closer, until I felt her lips on mine.

It was a soft kiss and I answered it from muscle memory. Callie was the prettiest girl in our class and she was such a perfect girlfriend choice for me.. but I felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. My heart didn't beat any faster and I didn't feel like I wanted to kiss her. Somehow it just felt wrong.

"I don't think — um — I'm sorry. I can't." I got up abruptly, feeling puzzled because nothing like this had ever happened to me before. The old me would have kissed a pretty girl just because she was a pretty girl, but.. now I didn't want to do it.

"Why not?" Callie got up too, a wounded look in her eyes. 

"Callie, I'm sorry." I apologised again. She didn't say anything before she turned around and nearly ran away from my eyesight. 

♡♡♡

Hi, no question today. I would like to tell a little something about me as a writer instead. The truth is that I am really insecure and I'm constantly second-guessing my writing skills.

I love writing and it helps me get through my days. 🤍 But as I don't have many reads*, it sometimes really weights me down. 

Sometimes I wonder, if I should just give up writing, but somehow I never do. After all we write for ourselves, these stories are for us first and there's a reason why we're writing them. I've left so many things undone, because I doubt myself. That has lead me nowhere, so I'll have to try at least. Maybe, just maybe, one day my stories will mean something to others too.

(2021-09-02)

*edit (2021-12-22): when I wrote Claustrophobia there were barely any reads, but that has changed and I'm really happy to have you here sharing this story with me. ♡ Thank you! I'm still going to leave this part here, because it might give someone else hope that their stories get found as well.