Kai Parker One Shots

Bills, Bills, Bills

Absurd. That is the only reasonable word you can think of to describe how the night has unfolded so far. Bar hopping, carb loading and a trunk full of hastily spent purchases loom in your mind like a dark thundercloud - deep down you knew that come morning you'd be filled with overwhelming regret. Single life had truly taken its toll, the depression following multiple failed Tinder dates leading your best friend Molly to come up with the ultimate resolution. Hours of partying and wild fun could prove a cure, right? There had been no way you could say no to her excited puppy-like grin when she'd proposed the idea, and after nearly a decade of time spent side by side it felt like betrayal.

The Upper East Side was just as bustling as it was in the day, passerby in down coats and beanies talking each others' ears off on the sidewalk. Taxis zoomed back and forth among sparse traffic; moon at its fullest and just a hint of a cold breeze in the September air.

"C'mon, you know you want to." Excitement was obvious in Molly's bouncy hopping as she gestured to the the red LED sign hanging over the dim-lit nightclub just inches from her Ferrari, which read Desire. "The Yelp reviews for this place are raving." As the bald valet retrieves her key, she puts a supportive hand on your shoulder and sighs worriedly. "I know things have been a bit tough lately, which is exactly why this is what you need - to loosen up and live a little."

"By going to a male strip club?" you hiss, annoyed and just a little embarrassed. How on earth would this solve any of your problems? It felt like a mockery of how alone you were, especially being that  a good amount of people who went to these kinds of places were doing it for exactly that reason. "I don't want to do this. No good can come from this and it's already late enough." 3:00am was the exact time on your iPhone 12's homescreen and at this point your bed sounded more inviting.

"Could we at least go inside for a couple of minutes? You know the drive over here took us a half hour and a tank of gas. If you hate it so much, then we'll go back to your place and feast on some Häagen-Dazs while binging Hulu." The worst that could happen was that you didn't enjoy the atmosphere. Maybe it was harmless to just scope it out.

"Fine." Hesitance was still lingering as your stilettos clacked along the pavement, joining the line going out the door and patiently awaiting until the bouncer let you both in after making sure your IDs were legal and the visit was paid.

The interior matched the exterior, dusky scarlet lowlights and full velvet curtains draped the entire room. Speakers lined every corner and the main stage had a metal pole in the very center. Bass filled music thumped aggressively and a scantily clad man in nothing other than a silver speedo worked his way down the catwalk. Women of all ages cheered, tossing hundreds and twenties at his feet and one even making sure to slide hers near his bulge.

Unfortunate that he wasn't your taste, but the cranberry vodka made up for it as you sat at an empty stool. The bartender toweled an empty glass and leaned over, nearly exposing her breasts as they peeked out out over her lace up crop top. "Just so you know, honey, private rooms are half off and totally worth it if you and your friend are down." Business ruse, probably, that she was divulging to a customer about a supposed sale, and you weren't sure whether to take her up on the offer or not.

"If you don't, I will." Molly downs a melon ball shot and chuckles. "I'd have to be a little crazy to say no. I just saw this one guy with the most beautiful smile and requested him in particular. Maybe he'd be interested in me if I bring my best game."

"That is sooo not how that works, Mol. They get paid to shake a little ass, not to actually date. You know how many girls must pass through here? There's a better chance of hell freezing over than them even remembering names. I'm not trying to dampen the mood, I just don't want you to get your hopes up and then have them crushed like mine."