what once was

prologue

His eyes seemed familiar, at the back of my mind. They looked like eyes, I once knew all too well. The man standing in front of me seemed rather aggravated to be in my presence or perhaps I was analysing each and every movement, a bit too cautiously. The doctor's words flew past my head but I noted as he said — 'A person with this type of amnesia might remember how to make a phone call but they don't remember what they did earlier this morning or your wedding or your most profound memories. This is because declarative and non-declarative memories are thought to be stored in different areas of the brain.'

'Retrograde amnesia may resolve in less than 24 hours or may persist for a lifetime depending on the cause. You never really know. We can only hope for the best.'

''Yes, changes in personality may occur after the onset of amnesia.'

'I've referred her to a very good Psychotherapist. Psychotherapy may help to improve memories lost because of traumatic events. He will visit her at least once a week. Best it be in the comfort of your home for better improvement of her memory.'

'She will be all ready to go home by tomorrow.' Go home? Where is home? I looked around, confused...looked at my arm... there was a white wristband with words and dates written on them. 'Soraya Dos Santos' I felt someone's eyes on me. Out of instinct I looked up only to meet those of the distant stranger. He must have been my brother because I did not see any of my family but did I have a family? — but it couldn't be. My skin was brown and his almost pale. Perhaps one of us had to have been adopted. The doctor had asked me so many questions prior to this meeting, I couldn't recall anything except waking up to these blank hospital walls.

—

As told by my doctor, the man I had seen yesterday came to pick me up the very next day. He had not said a word to me. I didn't recall ever hearing his voice but it sounded like something that gave my body a reaction. A reaction, I did not quite feel comfortable with. He wore very modest. The car ride home was quiet, he concentrated on the road and nothing else. How was I meant to reside with someone so cold? Someone who had not even bothered to give a mere greeting.

"How far is this place?" I finally spoke up.

He stared blankly at me, giving me a cold stare that left me afraid to even mutter another word. "Quit playing stupid, the doctor isn't here anymore."

"Excuse me?"

"You really thought I'd buy into that idiotic act. 'Oh no poor me, I can not remember anything' you're mental an absolute maniac!"

Funny enough, these cold words did not seem to phase me as much as much as they should have. I was surprised but I kept my eyes down.Fumbling with my fingers, it dawned onto me that this wouldn't be an easy journey. How would I piece together my memory with someone who did not believe a word, I said.

In a low whisper, he muttered. "...you need to let me go. This is becoming an unhealthy obsession. Please Soraya! It's time we both move on."

"I don't understand—"

"I don't love you anymore! This was a mistake and thank goodness there is no child to bear fruits of this chaos."

"I understand, that is perfectly fine with me but first please tell me who are you to me?"

He laughed, almost seemed as if he did not believe a word I said. Suddenly the car came to a halt. Making me aware of our surroundings, a nice suburban neighbourhood. A beautiful white Parisienne-style villa. It was so stunning, I couldn't imagine what my life had been like before this accident.

"You know what Soraya play these games by yourself. Frankly we're too grown for this nonsense. When you decide you want to come to terms with our situation. My lawyer will be waiting for your call." With that the opening and slamming of the car door followed. Leaving me uncertain of my thoughts, feelings and everything around me.