what once was

day fourteen : Lorenzo

— Before the accident.

When she called, I felt some sort of relief flood all over my body. Guilt was weighing over my thoughts and well-being. I thought about my life without her. It wasn't ever going to be the same. I had lived, loved and had my first child with this woman. We had celebrated so many milestones together. Just as we had gone through hardships together. Buying her first car, our first house, our first family car, our first investments into multiple properties, our first vacation to the Maldives, her first article, her being promoted to editor and so much more. We both came from struggling backgrounds and if anyone was as driven to succeed it would be her.

One thing, I knew about Soraya was her ability to force herself to move past something and make it seem effortless. She was already doing that with me. I could see it in instances where she ignored my calls. Gave me silent treatment, only speaking when it's necessary. She had already decided that her life was better off without me. I had wronged her and she did not deserve that. I had been a fool, excited by three seconds of a climax with a different woman. I assumed, I was missing out on so much because I married young... quite young even though it was for my own benefit because Soraya only meant to help me.

As soon as I opened the door, an aroma immediately hit my nostrils. One thing about my wife was— she could really cook if she wanted to and she make time for it. I watched her from a distance, just admiring how concentrated and distracted she seemed. In a bonnet and a pretty black dress. She made it seem effortless all the time.

"You didn't have to come early, I said anytime you're free." She told me.

"I just happened to be free immediately after your call." In all honesty, it was the only thing. I was looking forward to.

There was awkward silence as I made it round the kitchen counter to lay my arms around her waist as she stirred the pot. When I did she didn't protest. We always did this back when we were okay. When she had not protested I knew exactly where this was leading. She didn't mind using me. I didn't either but it left me feeling a bit distraught.

"What's cooking?"

"My meal preps because this week is definitely going to be busy for me..." She replied.

Why had I assumed she had made dinner for us? Never mind.

"Smells good." I gave a kiss on her bare shoulder.

"And you smell like you didn't visit your mistress... today... wow lucky me, I guess!"

I just knew that was sarcasm.

Clearing my throat, I didn't recover as fast as I thought I could have. She was quick to detangle my arms from her waist. Tasting the food she licked her finger as if amused. "You know, you could have, nothing is stopping you? I did after all say... I was done. No need to pretend like you respect me."

"We're still husband and wife... and ofcourse I respect you bello!"

She laughed.

"Lorenzo please— anyways I spoke to Frankie today and he told me that they're going to Disney World for Brian's birthday."

I huffed at the thought, she knows exactly what she is doing. She always did this, divert them conversation, push my buttons to upset me and get angry sex out of the argument but not this time. I wasn't going to be upset or triggered. I wanted to make love to her not after an argument where it had us both raging with anger in between kisses. I was tired of that toxic routine. Switching off the stove, she walked away knowing very well I'd follow. I loosened my tie, the smirk on my lips didn't go unnoticed. Slowly going up the stairs, I couldn't deny the view in front of my eyes. Every meander of her body had me excited in every way. I followed her to the guest room. By then I had already unbuttoned up my shirt.