Cigarettes burn fast
Faster with every inhale
Fastest when you press them against your thigh
Taking in all the air in the world
And exhaling it in one short breath
I belong in a reality that isn't mine
With friends I don't have yet
Words that haven't been uttered here
But lay just beneath the tongue
Begging to be spoken
It's about balance and symmetry
As the ash falls on my clothes,
Scenting my hair
Clouding the room
It levels my head
If just for a moment
But it feels like all I need in the whole world
Jesus sings
In every step I take
Even if he lays stagnant
I feel him feel him deep within me
Kissing my scars
Whilst still splitting them open every time he feels I need to be punished
It's a constant push and pull
The ambivalence of religion
Cigarettes burn fast
Faster with every inhale
Fastest when pressed directly against your lungs
Ending your breath as soon as it begins
And pushing you closer to the end than you've ever been before.
