I want to go back to the year 1986,
When my mother was the age I am now
I'd like to be her friend.
I'd teach her how to love a person properly,
How to speak soft and gentle,
Instead of using words like weapons.
I'd take her fists and lower them.
I'd show her how to keep them still.
I want to go back to the year 1978,
When my mother was the age I was before it all happened.
I'd like to be her confidant.
I'd catch her before it all happened to her too,
Twist her shoulders back the right way,
Strap the right tools to her hips,
And I'd show her how to use each one to build something beautiful,
Instead of using them to defend and destroy.
I want to go back to the year 1965,
When my mother was the age I was when I met her for the first time.
I'd like to be her mother instead.
I'd teach her how to treat herself with kindness and compassion,
Show her how to forgive, and how to forget.
I'd try to protect her from everything that hurt her.
Maybe then she could grow up and live the life she deserved to.
Maybe she'd find my father and they would fall in love and it wouldn't ever change.
Maybe then when she met me, she'd be able to teach me how to love,
How to speak,
How to be kind,
How to forgive,
And they wouldn't be lessons I'd have to teach myself.
