Hate, actually ✔

Chapter 22

It's been a week since I've had a proper conversation with Leonardo. There is obvious tension between us. He knows I'm upset with for being so formal and distant, and I know he's upset with me because I was so friendly with Kai (as I've always been since time immemorial) when our friends came over. None of it makes sense.

Besides Leonardo's obvious annoyance directed at Kai, it's as if we've never been close at one point. The way he held me when I was sick, the way he looked at me when we watched movies together, the way he smiled so genuinely at me back in Bora Bora - it feels as if it was all a figment of my imagination.

I wish I could say it's either of our faults, but sometimes life is a vehicle that's swerving out of your control and all we can do is sit back and watch.

At least Lauren and Steve just assumed Leonardo was just jealous in the way a normal husband would be and they kept teasing him about it, whereas Kai was having the time his life because he could finally piss Leonardo off.

Speaking of Lauren, her parents got a restraining order from her and Steve when they found out about Kira. She said she was expecting it and she's glad the topic is finally out of the way. I more than respect her for the brave face she's putting on.

Steve reckons they should take a road trip next week to let off all the steam, and he's asked Leonardo and I to watch Kira for three days. Despite the fear we both have of being left alone with a baby, we agreed immediately. They deserve some time off.

Right now, I'm sitting by the pool outside on a foldable deck chair. I just got done swimming but the sun has suddenly disappeared from the sky and I can tell its going to rain soon.

It's really cold and I should probably go inside but I kind of like the numbing feeling of the cool wind blowing of my near naked body.

I pick my phone up from my towel next to me so I can check on Lauren but my phone buzzes with a message before I can do that. It's Leonardo. I remember when he changed his name on my phone just for the fun of it.

husband: you'll freeze to death, come inside.

I'm surprised he even remembered that I'm outside. Even if I want to argue with him just to initiate some sort of conversation between us, I head into the house because I'm actually freezing my ass off.

I walk into the penthouse and Myrtle is waiting for me by the door with a soft, white fleece I've only ever seen on Leonardo's bed.

"Ms Toress, Mr Romano said you should put this on," she says, handing the blanket over to me.

"Thank you, Myrtle," I say, obliging.

When I walk into my room, there's new, warm bedding on my bed. This is all Leonardo's doing. If he wasn't so caring and attentive, it would make this process much easier.

I take a shower, put on some warm clothes and wrap the fleece around me, I find my feet taking me to the book den, where I know Leonardo is reading in front on the fireplace.

We never really talk but when we do, it's the type of sullen conversation two people have when there's something hanging over their heads.

He doesn't need to need to know I'm coming to the book den to see him anyway, for all he knows, I want to sit by the fireplace despite the warm air conditioning throughout the penthouse.

I walk in and surely enough, Leonardo has his nose deep in a self help book - the usual. He looks up, I act at surprised to see him here.

"Hi," I say. He probably won't even respond, he doesn't do pleasantries outside business.

He does this weird half smile thing when he spots the fleece around me. His smiles are so rare, they make me giddy.

I sit on the chair closest to the fireplace because it really is chilly today.

Leonardo reclines his chair slightly reminding of my mom's dad when I young. It causes me to giggle, because he looks so old and wise with the whole reclined chair, book and reading glasses thing going on. He looks so hot in glasses. I look away.

"What's so funny?" he asks, sounding amused.

"Your whole get up just gave me a wise old man vibe," I say.

He rolls his eyes. "Shall I ask Myrtle to bring you some hot chocolate, tea?"

"Uh, sure. Thanks," I reply. This man is so odd.

"Look at you huddled up close to the fire, I told you not to go swimmingly today," he says, like he's on his last straw with me.

I must have caught him off guard by coming in here because he's not  quite as distant as he's been for the past week.

I stick my tongue out at him as he gets up to go to the intercom to tell Myrtle to make my favourite white hot chocolate.

His tiny gestures aren't going unnoticed, I just wonder what they mean.

Leonardo ends up trying some of his own white hot chocolate, too for the first time and he loves it. I'm positively chuffed.

We make small talk, which turn into Leonardo telling me all about the book he's currently reading. It's about self awareness and learning how to understand your own feelings. Words can't describe how happy it makes me to know that he's trying to get help for his guarded nature and trust issues.

He's recognized a fault within himself and he's making an effort to change that. It makes him all the more attractive.

No one is ever perfect. Ever. But what matters is when we try to do better and be better. And boy, does this man try for me.