Hate, actually ✔

Chapter 25

Chapter Playlist: Even my dad does
sometimes by Ed Sheeran

●●●

"The French have a phrase
for it. The bastards have
a phrase for everything and
they are always right.
To say goodbye is to die
a little."

- Raymond Chandler, A
long goodbye

●●●

Lauren is gone. Time of death announced and everything. The experience was an outer body experience, but the negative kind.

My best friends no longer exist on this earth.

As the next of kin, Leonardo and I were asked a question we never thought we'd have to answer - ever. The doctor asked us if we would like to donate Lauren and Steve's organs. Because of the many conversations we've all had, and because of Lauren and Steve's nature, Leo and I knew (of course) that that is what they would have wanted.

But it was hard. The reality of it all, that my Lauren and Steve are just bodies now. On earth at least. My own personal experience of Bonnie and Clyde. I was so very blessed to know them.

Leo and I have to step up for Kira now more than ever. We had a very long talk with the attorney. Lauren and Steve - luckily - drew up a will after having Kira. That's how come the attorney came to the knowledge that Leo and I are Kira's godparents.

With no siblings or cousins (save for Leo), Lauren and Steve only had us as the option for next of kin. I've never gotten to know anything about Steve's parents, but I do know now that they're completely incapable of looking after Kira. I do not even want to think about Lauren's parents.

It was finalized that the necessary paperwork to make us Kira's legal guardians will be drawn up as soon as possible, once we agreed that yes, we would absolutely not let Kira go to anyone else. Leo even thinks we should legally adopt her. I think so too.

Its the morning after losing two of my bestest friends and the grief is making it hard for me to breathe. I didn't sleep. Leo didn't either. We just sat on his balcony holding each other until the sun came up.

I'm tired but I won't sleep. I'm terrified that Leo will go to run some errands or go and deal with more paperwork while I'm asleep. I'm absolutely choked up with sadness so much so that I don't want to be alone. He's the only one who understands how I'm feeling right now. We've lost our best friends and we suddenly became parents in the span of less that twenty four hours.

At first, Kai didn't believe me when I told him. He's booked the first flight to New York. I hated telling him. I hated it so much.

Kira has been up for a while now and her big, blue eyes are currently staring at Leo and I curiously. It's making me want to cry. She is the most beautiful child I've ever had to look at. I'll make sure she's the happiest girl for as long as I'm around.

Leo rubs my back. "Go to sleep, I'll get some help from Myrtle to watch and feed her."

I shake my head. "I couldn't imagine sleeping right now. I feel like I have a building standing on my head."

Leo sighs. "Yeah, me too. This calls for sleeping pills. We need to get some rest so we be with Kira."

"Yeah. I think babies sense things too, you know. Hasn't she been a bit more whiney than usual this morning?"

Leo nods, frowning. "Yeah. I thought I was being a bit theatrical."

Pablo, who I didn't even know is still Leonardo's PA out of office too, finds a skilled child minder, who he's done his research on. She'll be feeding, changing and watching Kira while Myrtle is in the room at all times, just in case she doesn't watch Kira properly.

Pablo, my mom and Leo's dad wanted to come over to offer their condolences but Leo and I decided we couldn't handle that just yet. We're scheduled to talk to a counsellor tomorrow and I hope it helps. I really need the help.

●●●


I wake up to my phone ringing beside me and there's already two missed calls. Leo still has his arm wrapped around me from when we fell asleep earlier. I turn around to look at him and he's frowning in his sleep. No doubt he's not having a peaceful rest.

I click answer on my phone with an absent mind.

"Sadie... What happened?"

It's Lauren's mother. She sounds like she's been balling her eyes out.

"Your daughter's dead," I say, phlegmatically.

"B-but how? It's all over the news and I-"

"Mrs Walker," I interrupt, "if you saw it all over the news then you must know what happened. What more could you possibly want from me?"

Normally I would have flipped shit because she called, but I am much too emotionally drained. The nerve she has to be calling me right now is unfathomable.

"Sadie I understand you are upset with me but I- I am so heart broken..."

"Yeah and so am I, and everybody else who knew them. Go get yourself a therapist and perhaps they can even help you and your husband with other deep rooted issues you have."

Mrs Walker sniffs. "It's absolutely unforgivable that I let Gregory control me like that. I am wallowing in the deepest regret. Just tell me this... Did- did she say anything about us before..." She trails off.

I can't even find it within me to feel sorry for her. "Yes it is unforgivable. Mr Walker has a ton of money and the way I see it, you chose the lifestyle over your own daughter because you were afraid of where you'd end up without it.

All while Lauren was at a point in her life where she needed you most. You have a good heart but your weak character is embarrassingly shameful. The only thing Lauren said is that she wants you and your husband to have absolutely nothing to do with her daughter. If you do even come, I will see you at the funeral."

And with that, I hang up. Lauren's parents are the last people I want to talk to right now.