Hate, actually ✔

31

Chapter Playlist: Till forever
falls apart by Ashe & Finneas

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"But the landscape of
devastation is still a landscape.
There is beauty in ruins."

- Susan Sontag, Regarding
the pain of others

●●●

Leonardo's friends Katherine and Elliot are coming over today. I have no intention of forming deep and meaningful friendships with anyone until further notice, but I hope they're a nice distraction from the obvious gaping hole in my chest.

Leo doesn't really know Katherine and Elliot that well, only on a business associates' sort of level but he's decided that we need to stop being 'hermit crabs who are only tolerable of each other's company'. He's right; staying at home and avoiding people isn't going to help us with - well anything, really. We need to accept the world for what it is, good and bad.

I spoke with Mom about how my conversation with my dad went. She was so surprised that it went as well as it did. Things are taking a weird turn for the best - there are obviously the imperfections that I can't change but I'm making do.

One of the biggest changes for me is Leonardo amongst everything; whenever I look down at the necklace he gave me, I'm reeling. Reeling at the fact that it is possible to be loved and to be in love in this horribly dizzying but magical way.

"Hey Leo," I say, turning to him. He's sitting by the bay window finishing off some work on his Macbook.

He looks up. "Yeah?"

"What's going to happen when our contract expires? As in what will happen with us?"

He furrows his eyebrows in thought. "I hadn't even thought of that. It's up to you, really. As long as we're together, I'm happy."

I ignore the butterflies in my stomach and go over to sit next to him. "I can keep living here. I mean if you don't mind and everything-"

Leo sets his Macbook to the side and turns to me, giving me his full attention. "Of course I wouldn't mind, I am in love with you for goodness' sake. I wouldn't even mind getting married to you for real, and I hate weddings."

I smile, feeling suspicious of him. "Are you lying?"

He rolls his seafoam eyes. "I'm not. I want to tell you I love you every day but for whatever reason, I'm afraid of the words. I think I'm afraid of you running away from what we already have because the timelines aren't the most ordinary. I know it's a bit early but it doesn't feel like it..."

I thought I was the only one who felt that way. I could've been married to him in another life for all I know because things only started feeling right when we decided to be together.

I am, however shocked to the very core that Leonardo Romano loves me.

I feel horribly shy but I'm also on the verge of crying a bunch of happy tears. "We don't have to be like other couples. Our story isn't ordinary to begin with."

Brushing the hair out of my face, he asks, "What do you mean?"

I scoot a little closer to him. "I'm trying to say I love you too. I would marry you today, for real."