♡𝓛𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓶𝓲𝔁 ♡

Depression (Lm)

Context: You've been getting a lot of online hate since you came out and it's making you really depressed.

Age: 25/26

⚠️TW; suicide⚠️

"You ready?" Perrie asks and turns to you. You nod your head and fake a smile.

Today you and the girls had a couple interviews and you were just not feeling it today. This was the last interview and you were really not having it anymore.

"Okay, so I'm just going to ask you a couple questions individually while the others stand behind the camera, alright?" One of the producers explains. Perrie, Jade and Leigh all went and then it was your turn.

You sigh as you sat down, feeling absolutely emotionally drained.

"You okay?" Leigh mouths to you. You nod your head at her before turning to the person who was asking the questions. Throughout the questions you didn't really laugh or any, only a couple times when the one of the girls made a funny joke or something like that.

You all said goodbye to everyone behind the cameras before walking out of the room.

"We're hanging out at yours right?" Jade asks and looks at you. You nod your head, feeling kind of annoyed that you can't be alone for the rest of the day.

"We can come over another time if you want, baba." Perrie says and grabs your hand.

"No, no, it's fine. I'm just tired that's all." You say and give her a sad smile.

~at your house~

You were all laying on the couch, watching a movie when you felt someone staring at you.

"What's wrong?" You ask, when you see that the girls were all staring at you.

"You just look so tired and sad." Jade says and caresses your cheek.

"I'm not though, I'm fine." You mumble quietly and look down.

"It's okay if you're not Y/n. You can tell us." Perrie says and walks over to you and Jade.

"I-It's just-" You cut yourself off by starting to cry.

"What is it, babe?" Leigh-Anne asks and rubs your back.

"E-Everyone hates me and I-I don't think there's a reason for me to be here a-anymore." You sob into Jade's shoulder. "I-I just want to die."

"No, don't say that, Y/n." Perrie says and kneels down in front of you. "We're not letting you do that to yourself, we can't handle losing you."

"And I know that, that's why I haven't done it yet. I don't want to hurt you guys, but I don't have anything to life for. I've lost my passion for singing, I don't enjoy anything anymore. I just want to take a couple sleeping pills and never wake up again." You say and wipe your tears away. Jade wiped her own tears away and pulled you even closer then before.

"You'll be okay, you just have to pull trough. I promise this is only temporary. I used to feel the exact same way and I'm still here. That means that you can do it too." Jade comforts and rubs your back.

"I don't think I can." You says, your voice just above a whisper.

"We think you can. You're so strong Y/n, strong enough to win this, I promise." Jade says and wipes the tears that began to fall again away from your cheeks.

~2 days later~

"Yo! Y/l/n, we're here!" Leigh-Anne yells as her and the girls enter your house.

They all frown a little when they enter the kitchen, empty beer bottles and other alcoholic beverages spread across the floor and kitchen island.

"Y/n?!" Jade calls out. They walk into the living room and see you laying on the floor with a vodka bottle, that was only filled halfway, in your right hand and your phone in your left hand. Perrie rushes over to you and searches for a pulse, a tear running down her cheek when she feels how weak it is.

"Call an ambulance." She says and starts shaking you. "Come on, wake up." She whispers cups your cheek.

The ambulance arrived about 10 minutes after Leigh-Anne called for it. They took you and Perrie to the hospital where you got taken to a room and while Perrie had to stay and wait for the girls outside.

"How is she?" Jade asks as her and Leigh run up to Perrie.

"They-they said that they needed to pump her stomach." Perrie sobs and rushes inside, the girls traveling behind her immediately.

~half an hour later~

A nurse walked with the girls to your hospital room. She opened the door and the girls thanked her before she left again.

The girls wordlessly stood around the bed and stared at you.

The pump was still down your throat, so you had a tube in your mouth all the way to your stomach. 

"I should've stayed with her. She basically told us she was going to do it." Perrie sighs and wipes her tears away.

"This isn't your fault, we didn't know she was going to actually do it." Leigh-Anne says and rubs Perrie's back.

"But she told us that she wanted to. We should've-"

"Perrie, don't think like that babes. Maybe we could've kept a closer eye on her but this is not our fault, it's done now and we can't change anything." Jade says.

"Let's just be glad that she's okay." Leigh-Anne says and sits down on the edge of the bed. She grabbed your hand. She squeezed it a couple times and felt you squeeze back. "She squeezed my hand." Leigh-Anne gasps and looks behind her, at the girls.

Perrie walks out of the room and comes back with your docter. She checked everything and got a nurse to take out the pump.

"It was most likely just a reflex, but we could give her medicine that'll help her wake up." The doctor said. The girls just nodded frantically and let the doctor do her job.

The medicine went into your IV and the girls and your doctor just stood back and watched your eyebrows furrow.

"She'll wake up soon, she might be a little out of it but that's totally normal. You can press the red button when she wakes up." Your doctor says before walking out.

Leigh-Anne continued to hold your hand, Perrie caressed your cheek and Jade rubbed your leg as they all waited for your to wake up.

And about 20 minutes later you did. You slowly opened your eyes and blinked a couple times before coughing, which made the girls look up.

"Oh thank god." Leigh-Anne sighs and kisses your hand. Perrie pressed the red button and continued to caress your cheek.