♡𝓛𝓲𝓽𝓽𝓵𝓮 𝓶𝓲𝔁 ♡

Suffering in silence (Lm)

Context: you're the fifth member of little mix and you've been severely depressed for 2 years now. The girls think you're the happiest girl alive, but every time you're alone you're fighting to stay alive.

Age: 24/25

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You and the girls are doing the capital morning show with Roman and Sian and you are feeling really depressed, but you are trying to fake a smile and pull trough.

"We're going to play never have I ever, but we don't have those cool paper things that say never and I have, so the girls have to hold up their hand if they have." Roman explains, the girls nod, but you were zoned out so you didn't hear a thing. "Also Y/n isn't listening to a word I just said, so that's fun." He laughs. You were still staring at your hands, that were in your lap.

"Y/n." Perrie whisper-shouts and grabs one of your hands. Your head immediately shoots up and you turn to look at her. She explains it for you again and you nod.

"I'm sorry, little lost in thought." You softly smile at Roman.

"Probably thinking about her girlfriend ay?" Jade teases and pokes you in the side, feeling how your ribs are poking out of your body. You force a small laugh and look over at Roman.

"Okay, never have I ever slid in a Dm."

You and Jade were the only one to hold up your hands which made you both laugh.

"I slid in Alycia's dm's." You smile and drop your hand again.

"Really?" Perrie questions and tilts her head to side.

"What do you mean 'really?'" You ask, making everyone laugh.

"Well since you're a bottom, I thought maybe she slid in yours." Perrie teases.

"I'm not a bottom." You say, your Irish accent coming out even stronger then normal.

"You are Babe, and that's fine." Jade teases and rubs your arm.

"Shut up." You say and try to stop the smile from appearing on your lips, which made everyone laugh.

"Never have I ever cried myself to sleep."

You didn't even bother to look around because you thought everyone had done it.

"It's the worst, 'cause when you wake up again you have a runny nose and such a bad headache." You say and look over at the girls, seeing their hands still in the same position as before, on their lap or on the table. "Oh, is that not normal?" You chuckle nervously.

"It's probably normal, but since when do you cry?" Roman jokes, making everyone laugh, but you didn't, you just furrowed your eyebrows and titled your head to side.

You thought that everyone knew that you weren't the happy girl you always pretended to be. You just assumed that no one cared, but now something clicked. They didn't know, they do care but they just didn't notice.

"What do you mean?" You ask and look around.

"No one has ever seen you cry babe, we didn't know you cried." Perrie laughs which made the others laugh again.

"Oh." You said softly and forced a chuckle. Jade noticed and it clicked for her too, how fake your smiles and laughs have been these past years.

"We're joking, you know that right?" Roman asks, now concerned as well.

"Yeah, of course. Just shocked that people think that." You shrug and softly smile at Jade as she grabs your hand.

Everyone shrugged it off and you were there for another 20 minutes before you all said your goodbyes and left the studio.

But before you all got in the black van Jade grabbed your hand and pulled away from the girls and the security.

"What's up?" You ask.

"What's up?" She repeats with a scoff. "I could practically feel your ribs poking out of your body. What's going on with you Y/n?"

"Nothing Jade, I'm fine. Remember? I'm always fine." You say and want to walk away, but Jade stopped you by grabbing your wrist.

"That's the problem Y/n." She says and wraps her arms around your shoulders. You sigh against her chest and let the tears fall.

"Girls come on! We need to get you to the studio!" Paul yells from the front seat of the van.

"Come on bubs, let's get in the car." Jade smiles softly as you pull away. "You'll be okay. You're coming to my apartment after the studio, okay?" She says and wipes your tears away. You nod and grab her hand.

You both walk back to the van and you lean your head against Jade's shoulder as soon as she sits next to you.

"What happened?" Perrie asks and puts her hand on your thigh.

"Just a bit emotional." You shrug and sadly smile at her. Perrie and Leigh-Anne do the same and hug you.