Thantophobia // Technoblade x reader

Chapter 18. The end.

Ranboo POV.

     I woke on that day up due to the sound of a blood curdling scream, the hairs on my arms standing up from the chills sent down my spine. I remember everything happening so fast, I remember looking out the window and watching Phil collapse in the snow. I remember how he stayed there for almost an hour, his body seeming frail as he shook and hit the ground. I watched as he struck the snow repeatedly, I remember seeing the red spots forming on the snow under his hands. I remember how cowardly I was, I watched as he stood up, trudged into Techno's house. I remember how I heard the yelling, Techno's yelling. Begging. Then it went silent as I watched Phil walk out of Techno's house with someone in his arms. Oh my god. I don't know why I couldn't bring myself to help. That girl, y/n.. she died... and I didn't do anything to help.

     I sighed heavily, as I sank into the chair I had moved next to the window. I've been keeping an eye on Techno's house ever since she passed. It's been about a month and a half, I haven't seen Techno and Phil tries to act as if everything is normal, but he's different now. Besides for that, silence, I've been worried. Phil hasn't mentioned anything to me about Techno. 

Philza POV. 

      I can't find him. 

     The day Y/n.... I shook my head, I can't bring myself to think of her. When she... left us, I argued with Techno, he spent an hour rocking her body back and forth, he was a wreck. I had to talk some reason into him. He cried and begged me to help her. He had lost himself in her death. He sat still, motionless, as I had carried her out of the room.

     I hadn't been able to read him during those moments. I couldn't tell what was going on through his head, all I could feel was the grief that ran through the whole house, as if it'd take one blow to cause the whole thing to collapse. I left him on his own for the rest of the day, I thought maybe he'd need space. I needed space. Two mornings later, I had decided it was time to talk about it. However, now that I had wanted him, I couldn't find him. Not in his room, his house, his yard. Nobody had heard from him either. 

     I've spent over a month looking for him. And, to make matters worse, Sushi isn't doing well. After Y/N vanished from our lives Sushi searched the house nonstop for 4 days. He then began to stop eating soon after, refusing water, and ignoring his name being called. He ended up on Techno's bed, staying there for days at a time. He's lost wait is beginning to be lethargic. I need to ask Niki if she'll help with him. I'm not experienced enough to help him. 

     Where did Techno go..? I really need him right now.

Niki POV.

     I got a letter from Philza telling me everything that had occurred in the past months. As I finished reading the words, the paper dropped from my hands as I sank into a chair. I can't believe Y/N died. She was so sweet, so young. But I guess that is what happens here. I took a moment to recover from the news before packing my things. Sushi was left and I am determined to save that cutie. It took about a week to travel from my house to Techno's. I wonder how he's doing..

     I was too late. When I arrived I found Philza placing a temporary headstone, labeled with the name "Sushi". I gasped and dropped my belongings. No, no, no, no. I was supposed to save him. I was supposed to help Sushi recover. I was supposed to nurture him and keep him alive. I felt a tear running down my cheek as Philza turned to look over his shoulder at me. He sighed as he stood, he looks skinnier than the last time I saw him, grey hair finding it's way into the blonde. He didn't say anything as he pulled me into his arms, he rubs my back with his hand as he holds me. He just holds me, nothing else. After I regained my composure, he released me. "I'm sorry Niki, I tried to get him to eat, but I just couldn't." I smiled softly up at him. It's not his fault. "I should have gotten here sooner, please don't blame yourself. 

     I spent the next hour helping Phil decorate Sushi's grave. 

Techno POV.

     I wasn't sure where my voices were leading me until I saw it. The field we met in. I ignored my voices as I  knelt down in the spot where she was when I approached her. I put my hands where her hands had been. There was still a whole in the ground where she removed the flower from. I smiled at the memory as I stood slowly, allowing my emotions to take over for once. I looked towards the cottage she lived in. There was no longer lights on, no smoke coming from the chimney, and all of the curtains were drawn closed. I looked at the porch as I reminisced in our conversations we had. It all felt like a dream. I wish I could go back to that time. To the time before I asked her to come with us, with me. 

     "What's stopping you?" I heard one of the voices say. I laughed softly, surprised they'd remember my words. Everything should have stopped her.... I wish anything would have stopped her. The door creaked heavily as I pushed it open, dust flying around the untouched room. I let out an airy laugh as I remembered what happened in the entry way. By now, the moths have probably eaten those aprons. I smiled at the memory of her laughter and continued on through the house. This is why I began to love her. I love her. I love her. I love her.

     The phrase began repeating itself in my mind over and over again, even the voices were repeating it. I loved her. No, that's not right. I love her. Even if she's gone now, even if she's left me, I love her more than anything. 

     I sank down into the floor of the living room, not wanting to disturb any of the things she had left behind in her wake. I think I'll stay here for a while. I want to take my time with this. I don't want to pretend nothing happened, like I didn't feel anything. I want to heal slowly, to feel everything she's going to put me through. I have so many regrets, but she will never be one of them.  I want to remember her. Y/N's story. I want to remember our story. I want us. I choose us, over everything else, I choose us.   

3rd person POV.

     If only it wasn't too late.  Techno was now sat alone in an empty home, dust capturing everything like a photo. Y/N lays 6 feet under the ground, Sushi lays next to her. Niki and Phil are left on their own, unsure of what to do with themselves. Ranboo is left to feel nothing but guilt, wishing he could have helped, blaming himself for something he wasn't even involved in. 

     When spring came, Techno returned to his home. It looked cold and empty to him from the outside, now that Y/N wasn't inside. However, it was different. Phil stood on the porch watching him approach, a look of relief on his face. Flowers has blossomed all around the yard, which was odd, it still seemed too cold for their to be flowers blooming. Techno's eyes were pulled towards the sight of a grave stone. He made his way over to it, only to see something that caused all of his emotions to hit him once again. A single flower was planted on top of where she lay buried. It's petal's still healthy from the first time he'd seen it. He knelt down and pressed his finger tips against the soft petals, the dew collecting on his finger tips. He couldn't help but cherish the flower. And that was it. That was the end. 

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Thank you to everyone who decided to take the time to read my story. I worked really hard on this, It's the first story I've ever actually finished. I'm really proud of myself for creating this, but I will not hesitate to take it down if anyone mentioned in the story feels uncomfortable. 

Thank you, everyone. <3 Especially those of you who stuck around through the whole writing process, I appreciate you all so muccchhhhhh! :}

Feel free to recommend new story ideas or to check out my other writings! I'm super excited to have had you around. <3

It's sad to see that it's finally come to it's end. These 18 chapters are my babies, be kind to them. <3

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