A Court of Bastards [ACOTAR]

Chapter 19

Sombre faces hung grey above the dining table, their downturned expressions reflected in the light of the polished oak. Fiona's mood swung from moment to moment - half of her wanted to scream into the stillness of the townhouse, to beg the shadows to hide her away forever. The other half wished that night would fall faster - at least then she wouldn't have to endure the agony of watching her final hours of freedom tick by. 

So Fiona couldn't decide whether to cry or burst into flame when Riordan finally broke the silence.

"We'll run away." he declared. He turned his golden gaze to Belladonna, who was focused on his clenched fists, still and unblinking. Riordan wasn't swayed. He fixed the gathered Night Court members with a stare that dared them to challenge him. "We'll take her to the Illyrian Steppes and never turn back."

Xander opened his mouth but Fiona beat him to it.

"I'm not inciting a war, Dan," she croaked. She looked up to Rhysand, hovering by the doorway. "That's what he threatened, isn't it?"

The High Lord nodded once. "Yes."

There was something lurking in the depths of those eyes that Fiona couldn't discern. It was the same look she saw in his son, something murky hiding beneath. It only made her angrier.

"Well I'm not putting anyone else at risk." she said curtly. Gabriel and Bella looked up in surprise as she stood from her chair. Fiona looked to Rhysand. "Thank you for all the effort you've made on my behalf."

She made for the stairs but Rhysand stepped into her path. 

"Fiona," he halted her. "I am truly sorry that we couldn't do more for you. But I do believe your uncle will keep an eye out for your cousins." His eyes sparkled with pity, and behind it, that guilt that shrouded...something.

Fiona smiled sadly. "Then I'm afraid you don't know him very well, my lord."

She didn't wait for his reaction, didn't worry for once about the etiquette of turning her back on a High Lord as she climbed the grand old staircase, all the way up to her cramped little attic room. Then she allowed herself to give in.

Silent tears fell upon pale cheeks, caressing freckles that had only just begun to emerge. A feeling of hopelessness merged with fury, squeezing her chest as she allowed a sob to escape. Fiona ran a hand along the walls, the house that had become a haven in such a short time. Looking up through the skylight, an image of purple light and great black wings beating against the sea breeze came to mind; her first night in Velaris, before the city opened its secrets to her, when she was still afraid and yet in awe of its cobbled streets and starry night skies. 

It was strange to think now, but she could hardly remember what the sky at home looked like. In the last few weeks, Fiona had forgotten that there were places in the world where the stars didn't glimmer like polished silver, where streaks of violet, magenta, peach and ruby didn't paint the dawn in regal splendour. Perhaps her charming new room beneath the ground would be dark enough that she might imagine the swirling night above her bed.

A deep voice sounded from the doorway.

"You seem to have resigned yourself."

Fiona didn't bother wiping her tears before she turned to face him. 

"Four days ago you stood there and made me a promise," she answered. 

Xander held her gaze steadily but she could see the hurt in it. She was surprised he let her see it, almost as surprised as she was to admit she didn't really care. "You couldn't keep that promise," she continued bluntly. "I don't see the point in pretending to have any kind of faith now."