kiss me | billie eilish

24 - waking up.

A/N: it's been almost a year since i last updated this book... listen to the attached song for a heightened experience.

~ omniscient POV ~

a dream can be a series of thoughts, images and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep. a dream can be a cherished aspiration, ambition, or ideal. it can be unrealistic, a self-deluding fantasy. though there's an underlying pattern throughout the definitions, dreams aren't real. 

so when lylah opened her eyes for the first time since the car accident, it felt as if her world may be collapsing around her. "where's billie, where's lexi..." she muttered, the words muted by the oxygen mask that covered her face. her throat felt uncomfortably dry. the frightened girl observed her daunting surroundings, the bright white walls and the endless amount of medical equipment  that she couldn't name that was attached to her. the hospital.

maybe it was seconds, or minutes, but multiple nurses came rushing in. lylah thrashed herself around, attempting to get up, whilst panic was rising in her chest. why was she in the hospital? why could she not breathe on her own? why were there nurses rushing to her side, holding her down? "we've got a code grey in room three-twelve!" she heard faintly in the background, the noise of her own head drowning out her surroundings.

tears blurred her vision as she began to panic. why was nobody telling her what was going on? "i'm going to need you to try control your breathing..."  the voice from beside her lectured gently. "breathe, lylah." slowly, lylah began to calm, breathing in through the oxygen mask, the stale-tasting air filling her lungs. "that's it, darling," lylah now understood it to be the nurse sitting next to her, speaking to her kindly. 

she watched as the energy in the room became less frantic, there were fewer nurses, and doctors spoke calmly while recording some sort of results. "you can remove the mask if you're feeling okay," the nurse smiled sweetly. the nurse, who's nametag read 'jane', held a plastic cup of water, lifting it up to lylah in offering. she was quick to remove the mask covering her face and with weak arms, take the cup of water. 

as she drank, jane began to speak softly. "you've been asleep for a long time, honey." lylah felt as her heart dropped in her chest, confused as to what she could mean. her voice raspy and barely above a whisper, lylah spoke, "what happened to me?" something flashed through jane's eyes that was so fast lylah wasn't able to interpret it. sympathy? guilt? 

"you were in a car crash, lylah," she started, "you hit your head and have been in a coma for a long time." her mouth fell open in shock. "what do you- why, what-" lylah spoke a chain of questions, her heartrate picking up in panic, though a sympathetic look crossed jane's face as she cut off her rambling. "what mainly matters is that you're okay now, you're-" a knock sounded at the door. "come in," jane spoke up.

as the door swung open gently, the world seemed to move in slow-motion. it was billie. her eyes tired, though shining  with emotion. as she walked in, she brought a hand up to her face to hide the tears that began to fall. "you're- awake..." she cried out, and lylah felt her own eyes glossing with tears again. as jane slipped out of the room to leave them in privacy, billie came over next to the bed and grabbed lylah's hand. 

"i thought i lost my best friend..." she whispered, shaking her head with a smile as tears stained her freckled cheeks. lylah was still at a loss for words, after everything that had happened, or hadn't happened, she was unsure if she'd ever see billie the same again. 

"i had the craziest dream," lylah finally spoke. "yeah, what happened?" billie smiled encouragingly, grabbing lylah's hand. "i had a kid-" lylah started, billie's loud laugh cutting her off. "no wait, that's not it..." lylah found herself nervous to tell billie about the main theme of her dream. the dating, the kissing...

"we were together, a couple." lylah finally rushed out, and she watched the way billie's eyebrows furrowed slightly in thought. she was sure billie would laugh again, but she didn't. "sounds like a pretty good dream..." billie whispered, her voice quiet, the intentions behind her words hidden. lylah nodded. both girls' hearts were racing, the atmosphere suddenly thick with a strange feeling, like a magnetic force drawing them closer to one-another. 

lylah found her eyes unintentionally travelling to billie's lips. each feature of billie was perfect, she had always known it. she had always cared for billie. had always loved her. she hadn't realised she had loved her this deeply. she hadn't realised that she longed for all of her. maybe she'd gone crazy, maybe hitting her head really messed her up, or maybe lylah could finally see what she'd never been able to before. 

"i'm in love with you." lylah spoke as she looked into billie's piercingly blue eyes. the words echoed around the room. i'm in love with you. she couldn't read what billie was feeling, what she was thinking. all that she noticed was the lack of response. dread filled lylah, her face dropping in the pain of denial. quickly, she began to think of how she could make up for what she'd said.

"i didn't mean th- i'm so sorry, i really hit my head badly," lylah rambled in a panic, wishing more than ever that she hadn't have said anything. "i'm so sorry," she continued, though billie stopped her short.

"kiss me." was all billie said. two words, holding a stronger emotion than the two girls had ever felt was possible. "you want me to-" lylah was cut off by billie's lips capturing her own, a small gasp escaping her as their mouths connected. it was just as it had been in her dreams. it had been perfect, and this was perfect.

the feeling was euphoric, the butterflies that filled both girls, their hearts that raced in synchronisation, the way they fit together like they were made for each other. maybe, they really were made for each other. maybe this dream was all the proof they needed. 

"god lylah," billie pulled away, out of breath, "i'm in love with you too."

after all, lylah's life for the past year or so had all been a dream. none of it had been real, not the relationship, not the daughter, not the ex. none of it had truly happened. the idea of this should haunt her for years to come, should leave her feeling like she's missing something, but truthfully, she was okay with it. she was okay with it, because her true dream was right in-front of her.

safe and happy, billie and lylah finally had each other, meaning all their dreams had come true.

they were together at last.

fin.

A/N: surprise...