The room I was in looked painfully familiar, there was that red duvet I had given to her on her fifteenth birthday, I didn't want to be here but I couldn't move, I felt stuck; like my feet were frozen
There were puddles of blood leading to the bathroom. I felt dizzy and any minute from now I was surely going to throw up
On my right, on the wall, there was HELP written in bold letters with what looked like blood
They suddenly appeared all around me and soon I could see nothing else than help; that word taunted me
Why was I here, I couldn't be here
Then suddenly that voice comes, that voice I remember clearly. I felt like someone had poured a whole bucket of cold water on me
"Help me", the voice whispered
"Help, help", she kept repeating
She started yelling, "why didn't you help me, I needed you"
"Help me, why won't you help me"
"I'm so sorry", I yell pulling my hair
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry", tears spill out of my eyes and I felt weak
I am so pathetic
"I hate you", the last thing I hear before I wake up with a start on my bed breathing rapidly and sweaty
My heart is pounding loudly and I begin to cry. I hate myself for being the reason she's not here
The nightmares just have to be a plus
I hurriedly switch the light on; I don't hate the dark, I hate what lies in the dark
The clock on my bedside table reads five in the morning and I still have two hours before getting ready for school.
I have a pounding headache and I wish I can stay in bed the whole week
I don't want to bother mum because I'm probably sure she has forgotten what happened last year at this same time. For a nurse, my mom isn't observant
I am not a good actress but I can pretend to be the girl who doesn't cry in bed at night, the girl who doesn't have panic attacks, the girl who just suffers from normal teenage problems, the girl that has no ugly scars over her arm and she buys it hook, line and sinker
When I started to cut, I always wore dresses that covered my whole arms at home and wherever I went to, she never asked and I didn't want her to
I pick up the charm bracelet inside my drawer. There was that rose charm on it, two half hearts joined together with the letters A and R engraved on it, a star, a sword, and a silver key
Each charm holds a special meaning and place in my heart
Well, except the key, it was bigger than the rest and had the Letter S engraved in it but I had never seen it before
The shaped edge of the key looks familiar but I can't remember where I have seen it
Lex, a voice mutters. Brandon enters the room and closes the door behind him. I hurriedly wipe my tears
"The knock before you enter sign on the door is there for a reason, Brandon"
"What do you want"
"Um...Lex, can I ask you a question?"
Brandon's eyes are red and his voice is hoarse. I sober up
"What is wrong Brandon did anyone hurt you cause I'll- "
"How was Dad like Lexi, I want to know something, anything about Dad", he questions taking a seat at the edge of my bed
"Brandon, you know you can ask or tell me anything right. I'm not going to force you to talk if you don't want to but just know mum and I are here for you and we both love you"
Brandon nods numbly
"So Dad...dad, I start. Dad was a funny person; that I know"
I searched my mind for any memories with my dad but came out short, I was only five years old when he died so I couldn't remember much
"Dad was funny, smart, caring and he was always smiling. I do remember one time when Dad had his day off and I was alone with him at home, he decided to make Mac N Cheese; don't ask me how but he made the stove catch fire
By the time he found the fire extinguisher, the fire had caused damage and the stove had to be replaced with a new one
Mum gave him the silent treatment for a week; Dad didn't know how to cook and she kept telling him never to go near the stove"
Brandon smiled at that and sighed. "I miss him, I wish he was here with us"
Me too, I sigh but I remember a phrase Dad always used to say
He always used to say, "Dear future, I'm ready"
To him, it meant letting go of the bad memories in situations and remembering the good memories worth remembering thus being ready for what the future has to offer
Why don't you take his advice then, mt conscience says
"Lex, Brandon whispers
Can I sleep here tonight?"
"No,why?"
"Please",he mutters
"Yeah,sure but remember that this is a one-time thing and my room is off-limits to you"
"Can't we for once just have a normal sibling bonding time"
"Ha!, what's that?
Nope, no way, forget it"
"You are weird and annoying, you know that right", he says landing on my bed with a thump
"To insult me, Brandon, I must first value your opinion; which I don't, nice try though"
"I'm pretty sure mum mixed you with another baby in the hospital and unfortunately chose you, we have to run a DNA test", Brandon grumbles
"You do love me", I counter back sticking my tongue out at him
"Sure, you keep on believing that
Now shut up so that I can sleep
You know how important my beauty sleep is to me"
"And you also know it's only an hour more for us to wake up.
Nice try getting your beauty sleep"
"Shush Lex, shush"
"Don't shush me in my room, Brandon"
"Shut the hell up and sleep, Lexi
Jeez, is that too much to ask"
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A/M: Again I just want to say thank you for reading my book
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Fading Away ✅
Teen FictionOverthinking makes the voices in your head imminent and you begin to listen to them. You listen to them because they are the only thing there,the only thing telling you how it is. So you believe what they say; believe you're not worth the good thin...
