Seep Into Me Slowly

[Chapter 16]

Tatiana woke up the next morning, throat bobbing groggily from all the crying and sniffing of the night before. She felt her muscles tense, albeit her mind was free at last. For once she woke feeling better. Not physically, but mentally. And if felt great, to be able to wake up without the weight of the world pressing on your chest. Without the feeling of claustrophobia and suffocation prying on her. She opened her black beady eyes in search of him, sending out her arm to sense him on the mattress next to her. He wasn't there. She was hit with clawing panic. Did he leave her? Did he wait in the middle of the night for her to finally get knocked out and then made his own escape?

Her heart picked up pace at the thought. She felt overwhelming dizziness and her mind was spinning out of control. She listened in for the shower, thinking he may have been there, but it came back disappointingly quiet. No shuffling, no water running. Nothing. He wasn't there; she concluded. She may have been way in over her head, but she couldn't help the feeling of abandonment creep through her, clawing at her skin from the inside; it was like your security blanket going missing and now you can never go to sleep ever again.

She fought the dizziness and scurried out helplessly in search of him. She shot out to the kitchen, coming face to face with his bare back, where he stood in front of the stove, cooking something with only sweatpants on. She didn't know what got over her, she raced until she engulfed him in her embrace. Her heart beating loud against his back like it's been put on speaker. He was taken aback by the sudden hug, fortunately, he was only stirring pancake batter and not cooking something hot; so no damage had been done.

He left the spatula and turned around facing her "Hey, good morning" He said as he returned the hug, she squeezed him super tight "You're here" she breathed in his scent, wanting to brand it in her mind. "Of course I'm here, where'd you think I went?" He asked, stroking her cheek lovingly. She kissed his bare chest, taking him by perplexity, and muttered "I thought you left, but you're here" She repeated over and over, convincing herself with it. "Look at me" He ordered gently, lifting her chin so she could look him in the eyes "I'm not going anywhere, understand?" He reassured her and she nodded in understanding, a small smile playing on her lips. "Words, Tati. Use your words" He whispered and she gulped "Yes", her stomach flipped upside down in this strange feeling she'd never felt before, it made her anxious, pleasantly anticipating. "Good" He answered, his breath fanning her face, and just when she thought he was going to kiss her lips he kisses her forehead instead.

The gesture was cute, lovable and all but she wanted him to kiss her on the mouth, wanted him to want her like she did him. She kept her cheek-reddening thoughts to herself as they carried through breakfast together. Then, in the chilly evening they decided to go get groceries together, in preparation for their agreed upon, highly anticipated movie night. Silas was sat at the sofa in the living room, dressed comfortably in jeans and a sweater when his wife made it out of her room. She dressed in her casual hoodie and baggy boyfriend jeans, hair up in its usual ponytail. He couldn't help but admire her, every little feature of hers. She hadn't changed styles or anything, she was the same; it's the way he looked at her that changed. And the loving glances and admiration stares explained it all.

She got to him, smiling softly, happy about being out for the first time in weeks. She wasn't in the mindset for it previously, but now she wanted to explore the world with this so called husband of hers, even if it meant starting out by going to the grocery store together. "Tati, it's cold outside, you should wear a jacket" He told her but she shook her head "I'm not cold, come on, let's go" She ushered him and they locked the door before exiting to the windy street. It was a late December night, meaning the wind took its enjoyable time in blowing strongly, the nighttime only added chilliness to the atmosphere. They opted to walk there, since it wasn't far and they walked side by side on the pavement.

"Baby, get over to this side" Said Silas before he switched sides with his wife. "What? Why?" She wondered, he put his arm on her shoulders "I walk on the side of the street, because if anything were to happen, I wouldn't want you to get hurt" He explained and she scrunched her nose "What about you? I care if anything happens to you" She defies in a small voice which causes him to chuckle and kiss her cheek "I know, baby, I know. But you come first, you always come first. No arguing" He settles and she just nods shyly while they continue their walk.

They enter the lit store, pick out groceries and snacks together, goofily running around and making faces at each other. It was great spending time together out, Tatiana hadn't realized how much fun she was missing out all this time. They checked out and carried the bags and started making their way back. A few steps in and drops of rain fell on them. It started slowly at first, a drop on her nose, another in his ear, until it picked up and started to rain properly. Tatiana wasn't dressed warmly enough in just a hoodie. Silas put the bags down, took off his sweater and dressed her with it. She frowned "But you'll get cold" She shivered still, nonetheless happy there was more coats between her and the cold. "Yeah, but you won't. Come on, let's sprint" He says. They carry the bags and make a run for it, avoiding puddles along the way. Eventually, they made it back, clothes soaking wet and hair all sticky, they both grinned and sighed as they entered the warm premises of their home.