Seep Into Me Slowly

[Chapter 21]

Tatiana woke up groggily, like she'd been hit on the head. Scratch the word like, she was hit in the head when she fell to the floor. She jolted upwards in panic, her thoughts wandering to where she was and what could've happened in the duration of her unconsciousness. She felt her heartbeat in her ears, drumming loudly. She started to look around to dissemble where she was when the door opened revealing Silas. She thanked god and sighed in relief, her muscles relaxing simultaneously at the discovery. She was with her husband, safe. His eyes lit up upon seeing her waking face, in less than a minute, he was beside her. "Hey, how're you feeling?" He asks as he takes a seat on a chair next to the bed, making sure not to invade her personal space for obvious reasons. "I'm good" She answers and stares off into the distance. Silas had his leg bouncing up and down anxiously. He didn't know how to approach the subject.

"Good to know. The doctor was here, said you needed rest and prescribed some medication" He started after a while, hoping the conversation would move illusively from that. She gulped down and asked her question in fear "Umm, what did your parents think? I mean, I wanted to impress them but look where we are.." She played with the hem of her sleeve, and a fluttering bloomed in his chest. How can someone be that selfless? He thought. "Don't worry about that. What's important right now is that you're healthy, both of you" He said looking her in the eyes and she furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Why would he be glad that Ace is well? He was the one to attack her first. True, he was his brother, but would that mean she meant nothing to him? Did her agony and trauma stand so little next to his love for his brother? His raping brother. She felt dizzy, the revelation taking a toll on her mind more than she expected.

He could see the wheels spinning in her head, driving her to a cliff, he bit his tongue. He should've been more direct and less ambiguous. He could understand the confusion between her eyes. It was justifiable. She doesn't know yet. What will her reaction be? He feared that the most. He cleared his throat grabbing her attention, moving to the bed next to her, he sat at a distance "Tati, listen to me" He started and could already see the broken-hearted tears gathering in her eyes. She nodded for him to proceed and he did so with extreme caution. "When I brought you home after the whole ordeal, I called a doctor to do a check up. I was driving myself insane thinking about you hurt. Then, she did and said it was all cleared, we have nothing to worry about. She did recommend a lot of rest for both you and the baby" He said slowly, looking at her to gage her reaction. She looked up at him in mere perplexity, what was he saying?

"W-what?" She barely screeched out. Her eyes looking into his to solidify his words, to search him for answers for questions she hadn't asked yet. "Tati, baby, the doctor congratulated us on your two months pregnancy" He said with a tight jaw and clenched fists, clearly holding himself back, and she froze "What? But..but we never.." The realization hit her in the head like a bolt of lightning. It's..it's a baby from that night. She was shook to say the least. H-how was that possible? She broke out in a sob, not knowing what else to do upon hearing the news. Her life was officially screwed. She doesn't know what to do. Silas crept closer "Please stop crying" He said in a broken voice, clearly the news didn't affect her alone. The second she heard him she threw herself at him, sobbing in his chest. He held her tight. They both sobbed together, while he stroked her hair affectionately. She held onto his shirt like it was the last thread keeping her sane in all of this madness.

"Shh, baby, don't cry" He cooed her constantly, willing the tears to go away. They stayed in this position for such a long time. She weeped her unborn baby while he weeped her. She finally moved back to look him in the eyes "What now?" She said after lots of thinking. "What do you want to do? We can keep the baby and call it ours, or you can get an abortion if you want, it's your body after all" He offered and she had never felt clueless, more inside a maze in her life like she did now. She looked at him questioningly "But it's not your baby, it shouldn't be—" He cut her off, grabbing her face with his two hands "I know what you're about to say next. Don't. Think about the future, it can be the three of us. We could take turns in looking after it, while one reads the other tends and then vise versa. We'll build its own little library in the nursery and fill it up with The Little Prince or Dr. Suess stories. He or she can turn out a bookworm just like us. We'll nurture it, give it all the attention and love in the world. I'll let it have piggyback rides on my back. you'll teach it how to draw, I'll teach it how to annunciate properly. You'll do cute hairstyles like you do your hair with all these ribbons and bow ties. You can get them hooked on chamomile tea like you did me. We'll both take turns in bathing it, maybe sometimes I can join in too when it's your turn" He stated lovingly, putting his hand on her stomach, caressing the skin with utmost affection and caution "It can be my baby. It can be our baby" He said staring at her, frankness shining through his eyes, bringing her hand so both of theirs were on her stomach.

She felt lost but he knew how to assure her. How to make the noise in the world to disappear into lullabies in the background. What would she do, is yet to be determined, but Silas knew one thing, he'd support her in whatever she chose. He didn't want her to overlook the happiness they could have because the baby biologically wasn't his. He'd take full responsibility for him. He'd make it his own, and he wanted her to see that. To know that he's serious and committed. That he got her. In every sense of the word.