Good Years | Ryan Blaney Book 7

12 | as I am

s u m m e r l y n
b l a n e y

"Ugh, Noah! I swear if you left something-" I stopped as I as the person waiting on the other side of the door. Theo stood there, hands in pockets, neutral facial expression. My heart raced at the sight of him, I didn't know if that was good or bad.

"Um hey, sorry to disappoint but I'm not Noah." Theo awkwardly cracked a joke, almost making me laugh. "Can we take a walk? There's something I'd like to talk about." His eyes met mine pleadingly. Every part of me, except one, wanted to say no. I just wanted to move on, I was in a good place right now... but my heart, I followed it.

"Yeah, sure." I stepped out closing my door behind me. I followed Theo through the motorhome lot all the way to the exit, out of earshot from everyone. The moon and stars shined clear in the sky above the track as night was setting in.

"So um, I would just like to say that I'm sorry. After you came motor home, I just haven't been able to stop thinking about what you said. I know I'll never be able to understand half of the things you went through, but I should've never acted the way I did. I left because I saw a huge challenge. Besides taking it head on by your side, I left because I thought that was the easiest thing to do. I didn't bother wanting to hear your reason because I thought I already knew the answer. I will admit I'm still mad and hurt, but I understand a little more why you did what you did. And I'm just sorry, sorry for jumping the gun too soon."

"It's my fault. I completely shut down after I had the abortion. Because I had instant regret. And I didn't know how to deal with my actions, I was so confused what my thought process was. I wasn't thinking clearly. I panicked, and I acted before I could think everything out. I was the worst wife to you. And for that I am truly sorry. You didn't deserve any of that. You wanted to fix us from the beginning and I was selfish and caught up in my own problems that I was practically nonexistent in our marriage."

I looked over at Theo, who had stopped walking. His eyes a little wider, almost surprised. It was rare for me just to pour out an apology especially twice now. But one thing therapy has helped me with was just that. Being open and vulnerable, it can solve a lot of problems. I'm not quite sure what took me so damn long to realize that, but it was better to figure that out now rather than later.

"I never knew Peyton or what she went through, but I know she was a huge part of your life. I can't even imagine witnessing someone I loved in that sort of pain, and that is something that I know you never want to go through again. I understand slightly better now why you did what you did, but the lack of trust and communication with that situation is something I can't quite wrap my mind around still."

I nodded trying to formulate some sort of response. I did not have any excuse for my actions, I knew that they were wrong and that I had to live through the consequences of them. Life was so funny in a way. Even as a grown adult, I still had so many mixed up morals. I was blinded by what I wanted to do rather than looking at the whole picture and who else it could have affected. I had my dad's suborn character which was not always particularly a bad thing, although it could bite me in the ass sometimes.

"As cliche as it is, if I could go back and do anything differently... I would. I know what I did wrong but all I can do now is be open and honest with you, and learn from my mistakes."

"Summer, you are the love of my life. I could never go through this life without you no matter how mad I can get. "

"So, where does this leave us?"

"Spending these past few months without you, has made me realize I am so much better with you. I'm all in, that's if you are too."

"I think a fresh start is all we need." I replied with a slight smile.

"Then in that case, I'm Theo Murphy and might I add a huge fan of yours."

"Summerlyn Blaney, Theo Murphy's number one fan even if I beat him sometimes."

"Hey hey, don't get too far ahead of yourself now Blaney." Theo chuckles throwing an arm around my shoulder as we continued walking. I slowly started to feel like myself again, like the missing piece of the puzzle was found and put back in its place. Theo and I walked around the infield garages for what seemed like forever having an actual, real conversation with each other which was refreshing after spending the last year going between fighting or not talking to each other.

| s u n d a y   -  p r e   r a c e  |

"You seem happy today- And that's why." Jimmie chuckled seeing Theo reach out for my hand as he passed by coming back from driver introductions. "You two sort everything out?"

"Yeah, we did." I smiled.

"Well, I hope we can convert that happy energy into a win today."

"So business like of you." I rolled my eyes.

"Hey, I don't need to know ALL the details of your life." Jimmie comments.

"Uh huh, only car details right?" I sarcastically joked.

"Okay, maybe some-"

"Yeah, that's what I thought."  I laughed. "You are invested in all the tea in my life, you just do not want to admit it."

"I'm leaving to go over race notes, but I'm serious about that win Blaney."

"Hey, have I ever let you down?"

"I can think of a few times." He called back jokingly.

"Jimmie, giving you a hard time? Just say the word and I'll handle it." Uncle Chase walks up.

"Nothing I can't handle, but he is being a pain in the ass." I replied. "I thought you weren't coming today?"

"Meetings got canceled, so I took a last minute flight."

"My uncle, Chase Elliott taking a commercial flight? Never thought I would see the day." I gasped.

"You are just like your mother, your mother said the same thing to me." Chase scoffed. "A man has to do what he has to do to support his children, and his goofballs of a niece and nephew."

"You know I'm kidding." I laughed as mom and dad walked up.

"Hey Mr. Commerical Flight Elliott." My dad laughed giving Uncle Chase a big friendly pat on the shoulder.

"I'm leaving, good luck Summer." Chase said.