- XIX -

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I hanged up the phone after my sister says the last 'I love you' and that broke me inside, she's all alone in that inferno and I'm here pursuing a dream; I'm definitely so selfish.

It's raining and the sky's painted gray. The street and buildings, gray background.

After that embarrassing scene with Suga-ssi, I preferred to run away and cry my heart out to all of the things I've been ignoring since the performances started. I'm physically so exhausted, I felt like passing out like three times today.
I don't feel comfortable with my looks lately, everyone is looking at me and whatever I do, am I that ugly?
I miss my sister so much, she was the first one to trust me and support my dream, and now she's at the other side of the world.
Felix needs to stay away from me because my bandmates don't like him
I haven't even talked with Hwasa, I miss my only female friend.

A sigh lives my mouth, those feelings are eating me alive, I'm drowning in the ocean and I don't know how to swim.

Even though I have been living here for few months, my brain already memorized the path and without thinking about it twice, reach the apartment.

I sit down in the entrance stairs, breathing the air that's starting to feel humid.

My tears keep streaming down my cheeks, and hiccups sounds now and then. I don't know how much time I've been here waiting for my feelings to dissolve, when a pair of black sneakers appear in my sight.

"You? It is starting to rain, what are you doing outside?" The same guy that indirectly kicked me out of the studio now is trying to take me out of here.

"I don't want you all to see me crying"
"I've already seen you, tho" Damn, that's true.

And since that's true, I don't bothered in moving my ass from the stair, instead, I turn around, my back facing him.

Thought he would just entered the building, but instead, I sits beside me, back to back, and we remind like this. Somehow we sit peacefully, like sharing the same feeling, I won't ask him what happend, but feels like our pain makes one of the both of us.

Rain not so strong, as if salt we talked about, falls over our shoulders and dissolves our thoughts slowly, till the last light sob leaves my mouth and the wetness in my face comes only from the rain.

He didn't make any sound, but his aura was nostalgic, I wonder if he cried.

He suddenly stands up and offers his hand to help me stand up. I accept his gesture and come back on my feet.
I was about to say thanks for the help but in the blink of an eye, he's closing the entrance's door.

It took me 3 more minutes to process the last events... the first time I interact with him this peacefully.

I walk slowly through the hallway and going up the stairs.

Before opening the door, I breath 3 times, I need patience to deal with this seven men.

I entered the apartment and the shared dinning table was filled with food and eight empty plates.

"OH MY-! You scared me... You're here! Please help Jin hyung with the rice and then we all eat together!"

Hoseok welcomed me talking so fast in a high pitched tone, and I do as he said.

"Good night, Seokjin-ssi" I bow lightly towards him and he answers my bow.

"Take this to the table and I'll call the rest" I nod with a bowl full of rice in my hands and he exits the kitchen.

I put the bowl on the table and sit in the corner far from the rest of the sits.

They appear in a line, talking like this was a good day, Suga with a sad aura, but still talks to the rest.

One by one, they sit in their respective places, and we start eating.

They talk to each other, as loud as always, but this time someone interrupts my silent dinner.

"And you, Y/N-ssi?" That's Jimin

"Me? What did I do?"

And everyone laughs like if they were watching a puppy acting cute.

"We were talking about the today practice, how did you feel?" J-Hope, similes and encourages me to interact in their conversation.

"Me? Wow- well... I loved it, but I need to improve my physical condition" I smile shyly since I'm not used to talk to them, but surprisingly 6 of them give me a big smile and some laugh lightly, like if acted cute again.

"A- And you, how did you felt?" This is my first time trying to start a conversation with them.

"Waaa! It was so exhausting! My legs hurt so much because of standing on the chair over and over again" this is Jimin sharing his experience and all of them continue the conversation.

Well, that's the closest I'd be to be treated as a friend, I guess.
Out of nowhere a body is pressed by my side and then asks happily
"Did you like the choreography? I really liked how you do it in this one"

Jimin and his small eyes are waiting for an answer. "Weren't you talking with... them?"
"Yes! But you share too little about you... I wanted to hear you"
"O-Okay...? I guess?"
"Good! So... where did you learn to dance like that? I can identfy contemporary dance, and that was wonderful"

"T-thank you, hm- I learned contemporary when I lived in London, like wh-"
"YOU LIVED IN LONDON?"
"Y-yeah, like for five years or so, before coming here to Korea"
"Wow, like... that's why you moved so good few hours ago"
"You dance so nice too"
"Oh... so you like my dancing skills?!" He got closer to my face, like if inside his excitement he didn't realize about the closeness until-

"Jiminie~ why are you not sitting by my side?"
That was V, sounding upset, why tho?
"Yeah~ coming back~" And like that he stops our talk and goes back to Taehyung's right.

The rest of the dinner goes by the same, little by little everyone disappears until there's only Seokjin and I.

"You worked hard today, if you want you can go and rest"
He smiles, cheeks as bread just baked and that makes me smile in return.

"No~ I'll gladly help you, you worked hard as well"
"Tho, I looked far from good... I need to practice more..."

He whispers the last words more like a mental note. I ignored it since I don't know what to say, and silently we finish doing chores.

"Good night, little Y/N" and he turns to the shared dorm.

My eyes are wide open and my throat is dry, did he just- did he call me 'little'? Like a pet name?
I mean, Seokjin-ssi and I don't fight, in fact, we can have normal conversations and we spent a lot of the time after practices together... But a pet name? As I got to learn from my friends, you need to really trust the other person to call any kind of informality... Definitely something's wrong here.

I open the door, ready to sleep since I am really exhausted. Once inside I close the door, still the lights off.

I turn around where I know there's my bed, but when I turn on the light, ready to jump over it. A pair of big doe eyes are watching me.

"J-Jeon Jungkook?"

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𝑷𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒅 / OT7 x ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now