𝑷𝒐𝒊𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑲𝒊𝒏𝒅 / OT7 x Reader

- CVIII -

Yoongi's POV

"You're not scaping this time, we have to talk"

I saw her efforts for picking up her suff off from my desk and running away.

"Is it about the kiss? Because I'm not apologizing for it, you also wanted it- YOU started the kiss so t-"
"IT IS NOT ABOUT IT! Shut up"
"Oh... Then?"

I finally turn off the speakers and get my bag from the sofa.

"Let's talk about it over some steak at my place"

Since I planned to have this talk in my place, I brought my car with me, choosing specifically a Thursday so she won't run away saying she needs to meet Miya.

The drive in the car was quiet, I don't usually turn on the radio so instead I call Namjoon, putting the call on speaker, and explaining our absence in the shared house.

"Everything okay, Yoongi-ah?"
"Yes. I'm actually calling to report"
"What happened?"
"I'm not arriving to the household, I need to deal with some problems at my place"
"Oh, okay. Thanks for telling... Jin would've been worried all night" He laughs a bit on the other line and so do I, knowing how's Seokjin.

"I know, I know. That's why I called"
"Great, so-"
"Joon. Another thing"
"Uh- Tell me"
"Y/N's with me, so don't wait for her either"

Namjoon let's out a scoffing laugh, after hearing the sentence.

"So you're also in the game, hyung? I thought you would keep your distance for the great of good but- You know what? I might be playing too-"

"Kim Namjoon" I speak up to stop his ranting "You're on speaker and she's beside me. And for your information NO, I'm not playing, I'm actually trying to solve what your stupid asses started" Namjoon stays silent on the other line "Good afternoon"

The girl beside me stood quiet all the call so I have no other option but to start talking about that.

The faster we talk, the faster it ends.

"That. Is what I want to discuss with you" I glance at her for few seconds "But we'll do it with our stomachs full"

Once in my apartment, I deal with most of the cooking, she just walks quietly here and there, helping with little tasks.
When she finishes setting up the table, I place the boiled vegetables and the generous piece of meat.

"Fully cooked, as you like it" I say, motioning her to sit across my seat.

Just after few bites, she speaks in a soft tone.

"I'm sorry"
"Pardon?"
"I'm just messing everything up and you all deserve no problems... only a good Idol career-"
"I know, I don't blame you at all, they are also part of the problem-"
"That's why I decided to look for love out of them... You know, I love them but it means a lot of problems so I'm thinking about dating Miya"
"What? The motorcyclist girl?!"

Nonono, she just changes her mind and feelings like that?

"Yeah, her. She's kinda pretty and funny so-"
"No, wait. You change your feelings just like that? No second thoughts? Just leave them hanging?! That's what's love to you?! Something disposable?!"

I don't know why am I feeling so hurted. I haven't even talked about my feelings for her but her words felt like she was also turning down my love.

My words hurted more than I thought when she looks at me with tears in her eyes.

"IT IS NOT A DISPOSABLE THING FOR ME, OKAY?! I'm turning them down and running away because my real feelings might destroy our career! Seokjin was right- No, I WAS RIGHT! You only see me as the heartless whore, don't you?!"

I freeze in my place at her words, the last sentence burning my mind as she has asked it previously crying in my arms.

"I told you I don't think y-"
"YES, YOU DO! ALL OF YOU DO! Don't you think I might have feelings as well?! Do you think I was playing when I kissed you?"

The last question takes me aback, not expecting her to put my feelings on the table as well.

"I wasn't playing, Y/N"
"Either I, Yoongi. My feelings are always true, that's why I decided to avoid them since I can't stop what I'm feeling. Do you understand that having Miya beside me is a way to forget about my real feelings?"
"Stop what you're feeling? So you already chose one?"

My heart hurts at the thought of her finally choosing one of them, but...

"I can't choose!" She cries harder "Even if Jimin hates me, even if Hobi, Tae and Koo are in a constant battle... Even if Jin thinks I'm heartless, even if Namjoon ignores me since we came back from Matla... Even if you're not playing their game... I can't choose because-"

She chokes on her tears and the sob that crossed her throat.

"I love all of you... the same hard way... I'm pathetic"

My mind goes blank after hearing my name in her sentence.

She loves us all? The same way? What kind of fucking love is it?

A poisonous kind of love, for sure. Look at how destroyed the band is.

Before my mind comes up with an answer, she stands up from the table while calling someone from her phone.

"Hey~" Her voice low and broken for the person on the other side of the line "Sorry to call like this but-"

She hears something the person on the other side says and she giggles softly.

"Yeah, so so" A pause "Can you pick me up? Just for tonight, I promise... Really?! Oh- Of course we'll go out if that's the price!" The pice? "I'll send you the location, bye"

I frown walking close to her.

"What do you think you're doing?! We're not done!"
"I am, Yoongi. I just confessed how I pathetically feel, that's enough for you to hear"
"You didn't listen to my side of the story" I try to stop her from running away with, I assume, the new friend.

"It is not necessary, you'll surely say the same as Seokjin. I'm ruining the band and our future, blabla. I'm running away now, the less time I spend with you all, the better"

"I love you"

That's the only thing that comes to my mouth to make her stop from avoiding her feelings, from avoiding me.

But that only makes her cry harder. Why? Is she that broken?

The buzzing of her phone interrupts her quiet sobs and she looks at the screen of the artifact before looking at me.

"I'm leaving"

She runs to the entrance and without looking back she jumps on the back of the motorbike that waits outside of my house, again the same tall figure with a helmet driving off.

I'm starting to hate that damn helmet.