Facade | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

16 | Breaking Point

Katsuki Bakugou

To say the least, Bakugou was overwrought. For the past month or so, Todoroki had been requesting to challenge him to a training duel, and initially, Bakugou was gratified to accept the challenge. However, their first match confounded Bakugou. He'd never seen Todoroki fight in the way he'd displayed—like a deranged, capricious animal with unpredictable movements—since he'd grown accustomed to Todoroki's previously predictable stratagems. Bakugou begrudgingly accepted his defeat, but he couldn't help but notice how conflicted Todoroki seemed after winning.

Additionally, Todoroki began what seemed to be his perpetual streak of losing after the first match. For the first few weeks of Todoroki's losses, Bakugou didn't think much of it, and he didn't deign to deny that he was proud to have beaten his formidable opponent. Yet, he started to notice how Todoroki simply seemed to grow more exhausted and enfeebled as time progressed.

Nebulous clouds mantled the sky in an ashen gray as rain trickled down to the ground where Bakugou and Todoroki typically carried out their duels. Bakugou was awaiting Todoroki's arrival, but he had no intention of truly offering his friend an enthralling battle of skill and power.

He's in no condition to keep pushing himself like this, Bakugou internally drawled while recalling the day his lips had journeyed so perilously close to Todoroki's. Yet, no matter how many wounds he takes, or how exhausted he is, he tells me he's fine with that empty-ass, fake-ass, stupid-ass smile. I understand not wanting to show vulnerability, and I still struggle with these goddamn urges that won't fucking die, but fuck. Even though he knows that I'm fully aware of his massive cutting problem, he acts like he's never thought about it before. I hate him so fucking much.

From the murky horizon, an inky figure hobbled towards Bakugou. It limped through the dismal haze of the rain, and after a few moments, that dripping figure was identified with one-hundred percent certainty as Todoroki. His body trembled, and he clutched his left shoulder loosely.

I hate seeing him look broken like this. "Oi," Bakugou greeted his classmate in a growl. "You sure yer ready? You look like shit." His brows sank lower within the threshold of his forehead.

Todoroki nodded slowly. "I'm certain," he sighed as though he'd just woken up from an unrestful nap. "This is nothing major. I'll be fine." A smoky smile materialized on his expression. "Let's start."

I'm not fighting you when you're like this, dumbass, Bakugou thought to himself while hurling an explosion at Todoroki. I will, but not like how you want me to. Christ, he barely avoided that. I could've taken him out so damn cleanly by now, and hell, my head screams at me to do it, but... As Todoroki summoned a wall of ice to distance himself from Bakugou, Bakugou simply tore across the field and charged Todoroki as though to aimlessly begin firing off a fireworks display of explosions. His limp's killing me to look at. Todoroki, what the hell are you doing?

A blinding tsunami of topaz and tangerine stained the sky like lightning being thrust from the ground. Shards of azure ice shattered into the gray, tenebrous sky as Bakugou continued to hunt down his injured prey. Todoroki desperately attempted to gain distance between himself and Bakugou, but with a poignant yelp, his leg caved in, and he crumbled to the ground.

"That's enough!" Bakugou snarled while his classmate frantically forced himself back up to his quaking feet. "Todoroki!" He clasped onto Todoroki's wrists before the latter could activate either of his Quirks, and he began to struggle against Todoroki for physical dominance. "The match is done! Stop thrashing, goddammit!" With an exasperated grunt, he pinned Todoroki to the ground.

Todoroki's body became eerily still, and yet, he whispered, "Even though you weren't trying...I still couldn't win. Why...am I always so useless? I'll never achieve the... I... I don't know anymore..." He grimaced while Bakugou helped him to sit upright.

"Pushin' yerself is a good thing, but not when it gets to be self-destructive," Bakugou sighed while curling his arms around Todoroki's damp clothing. "But you're not useless. Do you think I'd be doing this...if you were useless? You don't see me casually hugging everyone. Yer...the only person. But it's all right. If you're holdin' back tears, just cry them out already." He held Todoroki a bit tighter while his heartbeat swam through his veins.

Todoroki squirmed in Bakugou's tender embrace. "I still don't know if you're using me or not." He pulled away from Bakugou a bit, but he flinched and hissed in pain. "Please let go. You don't need to waste—"

Bakugou leaned his head against Todoroki's. "Don't fucking say those things," he growled like a sea of thunder. "Oi... And what's with the godawful limp?"

"Nothing."

"Well, then what caused it?"

"I'm...not answering that. Bakugou, let go of me. I don't want this. I'm fine. But stop...being so kind to me. It's not helping. I don't want to be loved. You're...making it w—"

Do you really detest being loved? Bakugou pondered while brusquely joining his lips with Todoroki's. Or are you just saying that because wanting to be loved by someone seems impolite or alien to you? Shit. My mind told me to hug him tight, but my gay-ass heart said, 'fuck it. Kiss him.' Oh, fuck. He's...actually reciprocating. Katsuki, what the fuck is wrong with you? He pushed you away the first time, and who the hell kisses their friend like this?! Now he pushes me away?

Todoroki lightly shoved against Bakugou's chest to separate their entwined lips, and for a while, he was silent as he stared at the ground. "Bakugou," he finally whispered in a despondent sigh, "can I...ask something weird?" His body shivered and twitched.

Arching his brow, Bakugou enfolded Todoroki's frigid right hand into his left hand. "Course ya can," he assured his friend.

Somehow, he looks so fucking sad, and yet, he doesn't seem to be sad at all. He did say he feels indifferent to everything. Damn. He's really struggling to say whatever he wants to ask. Tch. Had I not known all this shit about him...yeah, I would've yelled at him for taking so long to respond. I would've mocked him for it. Kinda already did that. Shit.

"Bakugou..." Cracked and frail, Todoroki's voice seemed to trickle from his mouth like the rain from the sky. "You were right. I can't keep doing this. Even though I fucked it all up...you're still being so kind to me? I can't understand..." He crossed his arms atop his knees and hid away his face. "You've been too kind to me. I can't...accept that. I-I don't...deserve it. Bakugou, I don't fucking deserve this... I've done nothing for you. All I've done is burden you and fuck everything up, but you're... You're still so patient and compassionate. I... Your kindness is slowly tearing me apart. You're showing me so much love, but it... I just...feel so awful. I can't...take this. So, please...just break me." His voice tapered off into the hiss of the rain.

Is this...his breaking point?