Facade | Suicidal Todoroki x Bakugou

27 | Help

Katsuki Bakugou

As though Bakugou had whisked open the shower curtain concealing Todoroki once more, he opened the door to find Todoroki with his head facing down and his back pressed against the bed. Todoroki's bangs draped over his eyes and painted shadows across his expression. The crowns of his knees were parallel with the ceiling, and his arms were tucked in towards his chest.

Shlurp...

Bakugou could only stare in utter, breathless bewilderment at Todoroki, who was nonchalantly slurping up soba while he sat on the floor. "Yer...actually eating something?" Bakugou uttered with immense skepticism razing his words. "Hey, when the hell did you have time to make cold soba?! I wasn't gone that long." He approached his boyfriend and soon glimpsed into Todoroki's dull, murky eyes; his pupils looked as though they were as small as the tip of a needle.

Yeah, more and more, I'm starting to think he's on something. I can't blame him for it. Suppressed those goddamn thoughts while the high lasted. The lows that followed made me feel either sad or empty after a while. But he doesn't seem like he gets the kind of highs I know as much as he gets all...soft and relaxed, but also hella blunt too. Sounds more like a depressant.

Todoroki languidly nodded. "Mm. Where did you go?" He resumed slurping down his soba.

"Paced around outside for a bit," Bakugou lied through a sigh. "But, oi. It gave me an idea. Today, we're cleanin' your abomination of a dorm, and tomorrow, since it's the weekend, we're goin' out and doing something. Whaddya wanna do tomorrow?" He nestled down on the floor beside Todoroki.

Todoroki shrugged. "Dunno." His head swayed back and forth a bit.

I'm talking to his face, and yet, it's like I'm talking to a completely different person. "Everything all right?"

"Yeah."

"You lyin' to me?"

"No."

"Look me in the eyes."

"I'm not lying."

"No, look me in the fucking eyes."

I feel shitty for barking at him to do this, but it's keepin' to my end of the deal.

Todoroki's exhausted eyes were elevated to meet Bakugou's fiery gaze of cerise. "Katsuki, I'm not fucking lying." Not a diminutive vestige of emotion pervaded his voice or expression.

What the hell is going on with him? "Shouto, how much of yer medication did you take today?" Bakugou furrowed his brows as his stomach began to twist.

"I don't know."

"How do you not know?!"

"I don't know."

"You're hiding something from me."

"No."

Bakugou's mien was scrunched into a perturbed frown. "You promised me you'd try and get better, right?" He didn't dare allow his eyes to stray from Todoroki's eyes as the latter nodded. "I'm trying to help you get there. Lying about how you're feeling and if something's bothering you is gonna have the opposite effect."

Not discountenanced in the slightest, Todoroki simply stared at the wall with his eyes that were bereft of light. "I'm fine," he sighed. "If we clean my dorm now, can we drop this conversation?" He laid his chopsticks atop his empty bowl of soba.

"Fine. Hey." Bakugou waited for Todoroki to glance up at him. "You ate today. Be proud of yourself for that. I know I'm hella proud of you. Be proud of the small accomplishments. Now, get yer ass movin'. We got a whole damn dorm to clean."

After Todoroki's dorm had been expeditiously cleaned by predominantly Bakugou, the next day seemed to follow in the blink of an eye. Bakugou awoke on the floor of Todoroki's dorm, and he found himself scrutinizing Todoroki's body to ensure that he was breathing. After confirming that Todoroki was alive, Bakugou exhaled his quelled qualms and peered around the room.

The bin was empty, there were no longer dishes and clothing strewn across the floor and desk, the tatami mats had been shaken, and a pleasant aroma of a faint, cedary mint suffused the room.

This should help him to not feel like he's living in a pile of shit, Bakugou thought to himself while plucking a pillow out from beside Todoroki. And to not have a massive to-do list lingering over his head. Ugh, this asshole is so damn cute sometimes. Somehow, he looks like a cat when he sleeps. Time to wake his sleepy ass up. With that, Bakugou dropped the pillow he clutched onto Todoroki's head.

"Mmf." Todoroki's back was elevated as he sharply inhaled. "It's too early for this..." He turned his back to Bakugou.

"You gotta get up today, Icyhot," sighed the ash-blonde.

"I don't want to."

"I know you don't, but it's gonna get harder and harder to get up if you don't force yourself to get up."

"Katsuki..."

Bakugou began to gently rub Todoroki's shoulder. "I know it's hard, but trust me when I say this is gonna help you. Holin' up in your dorm ain't good for you. I know it's what you want, but—"

Todoroki shook his head, and as he inhaled, his body began to quiver. "I can't right now." He curled in on himself and nuzzled his face into his pillow.

"That's what your mind tells you, but you're fully capable—"

"Leave me alone," Todoroki spat, but no traces of vitriol or malice laced his crumbling voice.

"Why? So you can go cut in the bathroom?"

Fucking hell. That was so insensitive, even for me... Goddammit, Katsuki. Oh, God, is he crying? Shit. Katsuki, you fucking idiot, this is probably one of the reasons why he always wears that facade. Do something, dammit!