Path Ahead

Forgiveness

"So what is this about?" Katara demanded when Zuko had finally stopped. They were standing in a clearing past some shrubs, where the little brook that ran through Piandao's property bubbled along placidly for a while before plunging down the rocks toward the sea below. Katara wondered if Zuko had chosen this location because he guessed that she would feel more comfortable with her element nearby. If so, he'd guessed right, but she wasn't about to let down her guard.

"When I left home, I swore I would do my best to make things right," he explained. "I have a long way to go before that's done, but the first step was to apologize to people I'd hurt. Somehow, I forgot about one of them until today."

"Who?"

"You," he said simply. "We were in that cave for a while, and-"

"Aang's the one you owe an apology to, not me," Katara interrupted, not sure why this was bothering her so much.

"I already took care of that," Zuko reminded her, and Katara recalled that, in fact, one of the first things Zuko had done after she'd knocked him out of the sky was apologize to Aang. "He's forgiven me, but you haven't."

"What do you think you can say that will make me forgive you?" returned Katara belligerently, crossing her arms in front of her.

"I don't know," he admitted, "but I have to try. We started to get to know each other when we were trapped together, and you must feel like I set you up, got you to identify with me before I turned on you."

Katara nodded slowly but didn't speak, tilting her head to hear what he would say next.

"For what it's worth, everything I said there was true," he continued. "I didn't lie to you, but I did repay your kindness with violence. For that, I'm sorry."

Katara mulled that over for a moment as she considered how to respond.

"Aang almost died because of you," she said quietly. She was still haunted by the image of Aang being struck from behind and the memory of his limp body landing in her arms, the fear that she would never get the chance to tell him what he meant to her.

"I know, and believe me, I didn't expect that!" Zuko protested. "I only ever tried to capture Aang, not kill him. Okay, that didn't sound good, but that's not the point. I'm just trying to tell you that I didn't intend to fight you that day."

"You said you'd changed."

"I thought I had." Zuko looked down at the ground. "I guess it wasn't enough. Azula offered me a last chance to earn my father's acceptance, maybe even his love." He offered a dry chuckle, shaking his head. "I know it was stupid, but I was too weak not to take that chance." Katara felt tempted to sympathize with him again, but she shut it down. Not yet.

"So how do I know you won't relapse again?" she challenged.

"You don't," he told her bluntly, his honesty surprising her. "I'm not looking for your trust right now, just your forgiveness. I can tell you one thing, though. I've learned that if a father's love is something you have to work for, it isn't worth the effort."

Katara regarded him again in silence, digesting his words. She tried for a moment to imagine what it must be like to have a father like the pitiless Firelord, one who judged you based on your ruthlessness. Zuko must feel like he was climbing out of a dark chasm, trying to learn from outside observation how normal people were supposed to behave. It was really no wonder he had trouble interacting with people in any way that wasn't antagonistic, and somewhat to her surprise, she discovered that a part of her wanted to forgive him. However, she needed a question answered first.

"What happened to your mother?" she asked, as gently as she could manage. He looked at her sharply, clearly not expecting that.

"Why?" he said.