In Every Lifetime

Chapter Twenty Three

Kongpob spent much of his days with Deer from then on, learning all he could from the older guy. Despite not being a fortune teller himself, Deer proved to still be fully educated in the different worldly matters. He shared everything that he knew with Kongpob, as they delved deeper into the various issues of yin-yang, reincarnation and even about the realm they were currently in. But Kongpob still had one pressing matter at the back of his mind.

How was he going to tell Arthit?

He knew the other was not going to accept anything he had to say about their meetings endangering his life. Arthit was stubborn like that. With the 49th day of his death looming over his head, Kongpob could no longer drag the issue.

However, he also knew that if he were to tell Arthit about his reincarnation, the other would never be able to enjoy whatever remaining time they had left together peacefully. With that in mind, Kongpob knew what he had to do.

On the 48th night of his death, Kongpob gathered Arthit tightly into his arms, cradling the single person he saw more important than his own life.

"Oon.." He started softly, his tears threatening to surface. "There is something I have to tell you."

The other lifted his head, doe eyes staring back at him. Kongpob took a deep breath.

"You know I love you right?"

Arthit nodded, unsure where this conversation was going.

"Good. Always remember that okay? That I love you more than you could ever imagine." Kongpob whispered, unable to bring his voice up any louder.

"Kong, is something wrong?" Arthit asked worriedly, sensing that his lover was being strange.

"No, nothing," Kongpob answered hurriedly. This was worse than dying for him. At least he didn't have to make that decision. But this, this was pure torture.

"Just making sure you know. Like we said the last time, we don't know how much time we have together here. I just wanted to remind you." He tried to smile his brightest for his husband despite wanting to tell him everything.

Arthit smiled shyly as he planted a small kiss on his lips.

"I love you so much." Arthit whispered back before launching into their nightly routine of him sharing what had gone on earlier in the day. The nagging feeling that something was amiss shoved aside as he snuggled deep into Kongpob's embrace.

Kongpob had successfully distracted Arthit by the end of their time together with an eventual round of sex full of passion and desperation on his part. He had poured every inch of what he was feeling for his husband into what he had planned was to be their last night.

He had been deprived of a full life and that was not what he had wanted for Arthit either. No matter what, he refused to be the reason that his lover would not live the life he was supposed to.

And yet, the thought of Arthit hating him was such a terrifying one, he wanted to cling onto the only hope he had. That Arthit would believe that souls who bore no grudge or unfulfilled wishes would have to be reincarnated on their 49th day of passing.

As Arthit's soul faded away, returning to the human world, Kongpob finally let his tears run freely. He muffled his cries into his pillow as he let every inch of his agony free, drowning in his own sorrow. This was it.

His final moments with his loved one were over.

After what seemed like eternity and his tears had run dry, he stepped out of the house and headed towards the river bank where Deer sat every day.