Sheikh's lost princess

Chapter 4

Arzad's pov:

I woke up to the same dream. I closed my eyes, placing a hand on my rapidly beating heart.
"Why is this happening to me? Who are you?" I whispered to myself, the pain I felt in my heart was lessening with passing minutes, but the unease was still there.

I looked at the clock, it was time for the morning prayer. I got out of the bed with the intention of offering the prayer. I wanted this unease to go away.

I took a shower, while laying the prayer mat on the floor, a single thought was running through my head. I shouldn't have drunk that beer. That one drink, the numbness and the relief of a single night had made me shameful infront of Allah for a long time.

I shouldn't have gone to those parties, didn't matter whether it was to fit in or just for the temporary pleasure.

Tears started falling from my eyes, as soon as I started my prayer. By the time, I finished it, I had asked Allah for forgiveness to make me strong enough to resist the evils surrounding me.

As I folded my prayer mat, my heart was a lot lighter. I called ummi and talked to her for sometime, this time, the guilt wasn't there of letting her down. Of doing things which would hurt her.

I went through the reading material once and then started getting ready for the classes.

Rafid and I went together. The whole day went as usual, I met Aine in the library after classes. We started working on the assignment right away.

Her hand touched mine multiple times during that time, and it seemed unintentional. This proximity and carelessness was new to me along with the 2 parties I attended. The women in my state usually kept a respectful distance from the opposite gender, unless it was a Mehram, from what I had seen.

I was getting distracted again and again whenever her hand brushed mine, making me think about her touch, the softness of it.

Once we got done, she left after giving a goodbye kiss on my cheek. I kept standing there for long minutes, but then shrugged, I hadn't initiated any touching between us.

I offered all my prayers that day, but still I woke up to that same dream. That painful dream which left me gasping in pain for long moments even after waking up.

The dream was same, but the pain in my heart was a lot more intense, even after minutes, it was still difficult to breath.

I closed my eyes, punching the place where my heart was. "Who are you?!!" I whispered to myself, barely containing the frustration.

I wanted relief, I didn't want the pain in her eyes to keep torturing me.

After a few minutes, I finally opened my eyes as the pain lessened.
I headed towards the shower, hoping that these dreams would stop.

On our way to the campus, Rafid informed me that we were invited to another party. I denied right away, the pleasure of the moments wasn't comparable to the guilt and shame I felt afterwards.

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After 3 days,
Our English assignments were returned today. Aine and I had scored A+. She was extremely happy after knowing the result.

After class, she insisted on treating me to coffee. I denied a few times, but she was adamant. Finally I gave in and we headed towards the coffee shop nearby.

"I hardly ever score A+ in English, it was all because of you" she said as we stood on the counter. I was going to turn towards her when her lips touched just beside my lips on the left cheek.
I froze for a moment, it definitely was unintentional, I moved towards her when she was going to kiss my cheek apparently.
I cleared my throat and said that it was nothing, not wanting her to feel awkward.

After finishing the coffee, I took my leave. I could see that she wanted to spend more time with me. She was a beautiful girl, anyone would have loved her company, but I wasn't really feeling it. A mute part of my brain as if kept knocking whenever she touched me or tried to get close to me.

That night, I woke up to that dream after not having it for the last 3 nights. It was so strong that tears were falling from my eyes when I got up. My heart was contracting in unbearable pain.
I was frustrated enough to pull my hair out.

"Why is this happening to me?!!!!Who are you? A witch or what? Why do you keep coming to my dreams?" I said aloud, knowing very well that I wasn't going to get an answer. I got up, once I was able to breathe comfortably.

After offering my prayer, I was sitting on the prayer mat, just thinking about the previous day. I remembered Aine and the time we spent together. I remembered all the nights I woke up from that dream.

"Is this pain my punishment for my carelessness, my ignorance? " I thought rubbing my chest in the middle, where my heart laid.

Sitting there, I thought about what wrongs I had been doing. I had already planned never to go to the parties or engage in that kind of fun again, but I was letting Aine touch me, even if it was innocent on her part. I shouldn't have allowed it to happen.

I remembered the moments in which my mind wandered in her company, or how we incidentally stepped over a limit in the coffee shop. There was a reason why Allah had given boundaries for the both genders, and I had been tiptoeing around it. It was only going to cause me pain. I got up with my mind set on not doing it anymore.
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Waaar dunga usky sr se ye jaan bhi ab  ..
Kia krunga wo cheez rkh kr jo apni he hi ni
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Assalamu Alaikum readers! Here's the update. Only one chapter left in saying goodbye to the young Arzad❤️