Three Hallows, Two Weasleys and One Broken Girl

Chapter 47: Insania Ad Ministerium

"Dearly demented." Began Fred dramatically.
"We are gardening here today." Continued George, ignoring Angelina's exasperated look as she threw a gnome over the fence.
"In the sight of Molly," added Fred with a cautious glance at the kitchen window.
George dodged a gnome thrown by Lee, "and in the face of this company of gnomes..."
"To join together these great minions..." Fred gestured toward the group. Katie scowled and hit a gnome with a spade, propelling it over the garden fence, and by the sound, into the chicken hutch.
"With our glorious purpose," finished George, "in the holy ministry."
"Enough rubbish." Grumbled Alicia. "Why exactly have you summoned us here on this lovely day we could have spent anywhere else not degnoming your bloody garden?"

George's grin widened, "we are going to prank the ministry. Wasn't that clear?"
"What!" Hissed Angelina, "Guys Hogwarts was one thing, but you could get arrested for that!"
"Only if they think it's us!" Exclaimed Fred.
All he got were flat glares.
George corrected, "only if we can't, under veritaserum swear it wasn't us. If we didn't do it...they can't prosecute!"
Suddenly Angelina's smile was vicious, "their stupidity cost dozens of our lives in this war...count me in."
At her statement, Katie, Alicia and Lee all lost their doubt and their lips narrowed in thin lines.
"Karma?" Asked Fred.
"Karma." Confirmed Lee.
"Why are we gnoming though?" Asked Angelina.
"Our bargain with mum was a free afternoon in exchange."
They didn't need to explain that they could face their apartment, their friends were knew them well already.
"Fair enough."

———

When George and Fred Weasley entered the Ministry of Magic, they were nearly bowled over by several brightly coloured sheep wearing robes and ties.
Dodging them just about, Fred couldn't help a proud smile at the complete anarchy the girls and Lee had reigned down.

The statue in the centre was gone, the boy who lived using his political clout to get such a bigotted thing gone along with the policies it represented and the people who saw nothing wrong with it.
In its place was, or had been, a statue of Hogwarts with the names of all who died fighting Voldemort's forces listed beneath. This served both as a reminder of the battles, and to show what should be the magical world's priority - its children and future.
What Fred was smiling about however, was the fact that Hogwarts now had the the faces of the founders instead of its four turrets, and they were singing rude songs like a perfect barbershop quartet.

The walls of the main hall there now furry. A mixture of Graphorn and Grindylow skin by the look of it. And goggly eyes were falling like snow from the ceiling, piling up on the pretentious marble floors.
Resisting the urge to explore the wonderland further and have their disillusionment uncovered, they slipped down a side corridor in search of the stairs which led up to the 3rd floor. Unlike the lift, the stairs didn't record passenger identities, a loop hole the ministry shouldn't have, but hopefully this attack on their pride would close it...after Fred and George had made the most of it.

As they'd hoped, the Hall of Records was evacuated. It hadn't been the first target of the attacks specifically so word could reach the employees and they could scarper.
They would get about twenty minutes time guaranteed without interruption if their calculations were correct. After that it would become a bit more of a gamble.

Unfortunately for all their calculations, they hadn't considered the extent of the ministry's ineptitude at filing.
Best as they could gather, the papers were filed according to the name of the last person to look at them...births, deaths, newspaper cuttings, witness accounts...it was so jumbled up Fred wanted to scream. What exactly were the 33 staff members paid to work here and keep the paperwork well ordered doing every day? It was ludicrous.

Even worse, all the papers were enchanted to be resistant to summoning charms.
George stared at him after ten minutes of random page flipping. "We know Harry knew about the wand."
"He definitely had no idea this place existed back then, probably still doesn't. Plus he wouldn't have had access regardless, let alone Hermione who would make way more sense." Fred pointed out, searching through P surnames in the hope that a Peverell was the last to take out the information.
"Well we know she probably had no idea about the three brothers. Muggleborn remember? But Harry must have got the information from somewhere and let's face it, it wasn't Ronnikins."
"You don't think..."
"Dumbledore. I bet you could count the number of outside people with unrestricted access to these records on one hand. Even if it's less exclusive there is no way the average wizard can come here in their hallow hunts. It was Dumbledore's wand before wasn't it? He must have known what it was. Crazy nutter might have lost it occasionally too for all we know."
"You take too much sense." Grumbled Fred.
George smirked, "one of us had to get the brains."
"Well at least I have the looks." Quipped Fred, pausing before they both launched toward the D section of the records.