Close | A Spencer Reid Story

44. Pancakes

Spencer's POV

The following morning, after my sleepless night, I scrambled around my hotel room, chucking together the closest thing I could to an acceptable outfit.

I charged out my room and straight towards Y/N's room. She had successfully evaded me after we danced the previous night. But she can't avoid me forever.

I arrived at her door. I planned over and over in my head what I was going to say. I raised my hand to knock, but the wood of the door pulled away from my hand before I could.

Y/N was startled to find me waiting outside.

She stepped outside and closed her door. "You okay?"

"Er... yeah." I stuttered forgetting what I had rehearsed.

"You heading to the breakfast and gift opening?"

"Huh? Oh yeah." I lied. I had forgotten about that. "I was just checking if you were awake. I knew you wouldn't want to miss the pancakes."

She laughed. "I appreciate that. Shall we?" She motioned down the hall.

"Yes." I motioned back and we both took the first step together. How am I going to talk to her with all those people around?

"I don't think many people will turn up. Did you see the chaos last night? The hangovers are going to be messy." It was like she read my mind. Either that or she was trying to distract me from bringing up last night.

Breakfast went by smoothly. As Y/N predicted the only people to show up were Ethan and Anika, their parents, Ethan's sister and her husband (even though they looked worse for wear), the two youngest groomsmen with their parents (Ethan's cousins) and me and Y/N.

We were the last to arrive. Y/N took the seat beside the, Callum, the youngest groomsmen and Ethan's nephew and Ethan's sister. That left me to wedge myself between Ethan's father and Anika's father, who were debating who knew the most about baseball. Their tone was being increasingly aggressive. They took it in turns to prod me and make me pick a side. Admittedly, out of the pair, I knew then most about baseball, but my passion for the support wasn't exactly invigorating. They couldn't have been having the conversation with someone less interested.

Y/N's eyes were bright when the waiter brought over her pancakes, with berries and syrup.

Midway through the breakfast, Y/N realised the grilling I was getting, she stifled her laughter.

"Why are you laughing?" Callum asked, tugging Y/N's sleeve.

"No reason," she squirmed. "What are you playing?" She enquired peering over at the screen in front of him.

"The Witcher." This prompted Callum to launch into a full explanation of the game. I could see Y/N intently trying to follow along. I was always drawn in by how she gave 100% of her attention on everything, even a thing as simple as listening to a child.

After Callum concluded, Y/N caught me staring at her.

"What?" She asked raising her eyebrows.

I leaned forward across the table to remove myself from the baseball conversation. "You."

"Me what?" She popped another mouthful of pancakes into her mouth.

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?" She scratched her head.

"Make everything so comfortable. You make it so easy to love you."

Y/N's mood dropped. She went back pushing her food around her plate. She was quiet after that.

I walked with back to our rooms. We arrived at Y/N's room first.

"Y/N?" I stopped her from closing the door of her room.

"Yeah?" She held the door still

"Can I ask you something?" I stared at my feet.

"Yeah."

"Are we actually done? You didn't mean that, right?"

"Spencer," she sighed in defeat.

"You can't tell me that you don't feel anything towards me. Yesterday must have shown you that. That could have been us. Ethan and Anika. That could be us." I pleaded.

"That's called being civil Spencer. Don't mistake it for something else." She rubbed the space between her eyebrows. "And you know what it probably could have been us. I love you... Loved you," she corrected herself. "But that was before everything went down. I don't see you the same anymore." Y/N tried to maintain her composure.

"Y/N, please forgive me. I can't do anything without you. I can't eat, I can't sleep. What else could it be. I can't not have you in my life."

"You can't sleep," she repeated with a scoff. She was becoming furious. "You know what... Fucking good. Because it's not me giving you them. You gave them to me and yourself."

Y/N stormed into the room. I catch the door and follow her in. I catch her arm pulling her back towards me. She tried to resist. I hold her as still as I can, limiting her ability to move. "Calm down Y/N."

"Calm down?" She shrilled. "Don't tell me to fucking calm down. You chose to disrespect me. How could you do that? I would never, in a million years, do something to undermine you like that. You made me feel this small. If you didn't want this anymore there were other ways to go about it. I don't want this anymore. I'm not your girlfriend. I can't stand being around you for more than a handful of times anymore. And you give me sleepless nights. I wish I never met you. Now, get off me." She forcefully yanked her arm back.

"You don't mean that?"

She held open the door. "Yes, I do."

She waited for me to leave and slammed the door the moment I was across the threshold.