And then she said it!

PART 10

YES, I AM HAPPY NOW!

HYDERABAD.
I felt good to be back here. As soon
as we got into a cab, I closed my
eyes and breathed in, my heart's full.
I always felt glad to be here, as it
was the world I, myself, had built for
me. But this time, for once, it gave
me a sense of comfort. Now that I
was here, I felt as if I had been
suffocating for the last dozen of
hours at Bangalore. It was weird the
way in which the place which
soothed away all my worries was the
reason for my suffocation. Just
because of one particular decision.
During the journey in flight,
somehow, Riddhima invaded my
thoughts to the fullest. As much as I
tried, I couldn't wipe out that one
last look she gave me. There was
something in her eyes. And that
particular something left me
disturbed.
Even the ride back to our flat, the
company had provided us, was
refreshing. The weather was just like
I had anticipated, not so chill and
not so warm, when our flight had
landed. This place was always close
to my heart, for it gave me support
when I had been in a mess after
dad's demise. And I hoped it
provides me the same now.
The moment we stepped in our flat,
we gasped out aloud simultaneously.
It was a mess; a complete garbage.
Ofcourse why wouldn't it be? We had
left it that way. The entire evening
flew out in our attempt to make the
place worth living. After a vigorous
session of cleaning for three hours,
we were able to clear the dust off
the living room. Not having any
strength left to clean our bedrooms,
we just slumped our sore bodies on
the floor in the living room and
drifted off to sleep, conveniently
forgetting the fact that we didn't had
dinner.
The next day, Rahul and I were back
at work. And I had never felt this
happy being back at the company.
Like expected Ankit was on cloud 9
the moment we logged in.
"My boys, you are back!!!" He
exclaimed spotting us at the canteen
in the morning. He pulled us into rib
crashing hugs.
"Yeah we had been dying to be
back." Rahul muttered in a voice
high enough to be audible. I
chuckled at his face. Thought not
very pleased, I was a bit happy to be
back to Hyderabad. "Seriously Ankit,
you didn't keep your words of
granting us leave. So after the
completion of the project, we are
heading back to Bangalore to finish
our left over vacation." He added.
"Yeah Yeah. We'll see to it." Ankit
added. And by that words of his I
knew the status of our future leave
application. He dragged us along
with both his arms around our
shoulders. Ankit was almost a
fatherly figure for us at the company.
He played a pivotal role in helping
me out of my sorrow when I had
joined the company. Apart from
being the Zonal head he was also the
legal advisor of the company.
The rest of the day went in a flash
with Ankit introducing us our new
clients and the team members. For
once, I was able to push Riddhima to
the back of my mind. That's the way
I am. When at work, nothing would
bother me.
Finally to my relief, our new project
kept me occupied during the day.
But in the evening, I was back to my
stupid thought process. And the
weekends were absolute horror,
whenever Rahul and I went for
shopping. At the sight of any tall
and lean girl, I would find myself
thinking about Riddhima. Or
sometimes, I would just stand and
stare at the military shorts in a mall.
Even the color black didn't appeal to
me somehow for it reminded me of
Riddhima in black saree.
The more I tried avoiding Riddhima
in my thoughts, the more she came
closer.
And somehow after a couple of weeks
I let myself think about Riddhima,
hoping it would help. But in vain.
My mind was never tired even after
thinking about the same thing again
and again. I found myself asking why
I had been thinking about her, very
well aware of the fact that she was
married. The reason was something I
couldn't comprehend.
I was sure of two things. One- that I
didn't want to think about her. Two-
that I couldn't stop myself from
thinking about her.
Do those two things make any sense?
They don't; atleast for me.
And so I had been thinking until
days gave away to weeks and weeks
to months.
During these days, neither did I call
her nor did she call me. There was
absolutely no communication
between Riddhima and me.
Sometimes when I called mom, or
vice versa, my heart used to race
faster when I heard her voice in the
back drop. But never did I amass my
strength to speak to her. The reason
being I didn't know what to speak to
her.
Sometimes I found myself staring
into space as if counting the
molecules in air. I was sure of one
thing though amidst the mess.
Something was eating me up,
preventing me from staying happy. I
wasn't comfortable staying at
Bangalore for the last 24 hours and I
almost ran away from there. And
now, I didn't want to stay at
Hyderabad. Maybe I was going
insane!
"Hey Armaan, done with the planning
of Induction Program for the hires?"
Rahul asked me as I stared at my
laptop. "Induction Program?" He
repeated once again, sighing
exasperated when I looked at me
perplexed.
"Oh yeah, I am done with that. Will
mail you in a minute." I told him as
he sat infront of me in my cabin.
"Fine. He said after a moment. "I'll
deal with that. Sign these welcome
letters and dispatch them to the
mailing section." He added and
pushed forward few letters.
"Oye wait!" I shouted, stopping him,
immediately when he got up to
leave. "What are these?" I asked him
pointing to the letters.
"Welcome letters." He said the
obvious. "To the campuses we have
visited for extending offers."
"Oh okay." I nodded at him.
When he left, I picked up the letters
and read. They were the letters of
appreciation we mail to the
Placement offices of the B-Schools for
their support and cooperation. Also
including were the final list of the
students offered the position in our
company, welcoming them officially
to the company. It was a routine
process every year. So I overlooked
the matter and set about signing a
couple of dozens of letters.
All of a sudden, our college emblem
caught my attention among one of
the letters. I stopped signing and
pulled the letter out. Immediately
my eyes darted down to the list of
students until my eyes caught my
target. Just as I glanced at that
name, all the weird feelings I had
been experiencing came back to me
in a rush. I moved my eyes to the
columns beside her name.
The details were the usual ones, the
first one being her of specialization
of study. Next it had her date of
birth. She was three years younger to
me as per that. The next being her
contact number. Looking at it closely,
I realized it was mom's mobile
number. I recalled mom telling me
that she didn't have a mobile. The
next column made my heart race
faster. It was the details of her
guardian. And proudly printed was
my name there. - Mr. Armaan Mallik,
g/o Ms. Riddhima.
I sighed heavily leaning back on my
chair. As I closed my eyes that days'
events flashed infront of my closed
eyes. God! She was so delicate that
day crying in my arms. That moment
I just wanted to shield her away from
all the sorrows of her past. It felt
good holding her close to me. And
then the tables had turned the other
day, with her being my support at
the hospital. Not even mom nor
Rahul had understood my plight that
day! She just held me as if I was a
little child. There was this emotional
connection between us that I
couldn't dismiss. And then came the
biggest blow. She was married? I
mean like really married? That was
one thing I couldn't digest.
As that thought crossed my mind, I
stared at the paper infront of me in
shock! Why was the column of her
guardian filled with my name? If she
was married, wasn't it supposed to
be the place of her husband or even
her in-laws in the worst case? My
eyes moved back to the first column
in haste.
Ms. Riddhima. Just Ms. Riddhima?
Why just Riddhima? This particular
question never crossed my mind
once. Or maybe I was too drowned in
myself that I didn't pay attention to
this.
Now coming back to the point, if she
was married, where is her husband,
her in-laws and why was she living in
my house? If her husband was
deceased, then she would have her
in-laws to take care of her. If she was
divorced, she would have the alimony
with her. But going by Muski's words
that she was studying with
scholarship, none of them made
sense.
These random thoughts made my
head spin, making me frustrated. I
looked at the watch which said 4.30
pm. I still had 2 hours before I could
step out of the office. But I didn't
have anything in me to bear another
two hours of confusion. So I pulled
out a paper and scribbled on the
sheet in a writing that one could
barely make sense of it, determined
to put an end to the never ending
confusion in my mind.
I barged into Ankit's cabin and put
forward the sheet of paper. "Rahul's
and my application for half day
leave." I told him before leaving his
cabin.
I made my way towards Rahul's
cabin. He was in a discussion with
his assistants. "Sorry guys, excuse
him for today." I told them and
pulled him out of the cabin while
everyone including Rahul stared at
me bewildered.
"Oye Armaan. Where are you
dragging me to?" I heard Rahul's
protests but ignored them. "Saale,
leave me." I attracted the confused
looks of many of our colleagues but
didn't bother myself with them.
"What the hell happened to you? Did
you go completely mad?" Rahul yelled
at me when I tugged him along with
me to our bikes in the parking area.
"I am not going home now. I have to
comp-"
"I want to talk to you about
Riddhima." I told him when he
didn't appear like he would make a
move until I opened my mouth. "I
submitted our half-day leave
application to Ankit. Now will you
drive?"
That shut him up. He stared at me
for a moment before he sat on his
bike and we drove back home.
"Beer?" Rahul offered me a tin of
Beer when we sat in the sofa in the
living room. I took the tin glad that
he had brought it. It was a usual
habit of ours. We would always
discuss something serious with a
couple of tins of beer. "So?" He
raised his brow at me when I didn't
speak anything.
"Rahul, did mom speak to you before
we left Bangalore?" I asked him
straight away.
"Yes I spoke to her the evening
before we left." He said casually.
"Did she say anything about
Riddhima?" I probed further.
"Why do you want to know now?" He
questioned me back. "That day when
aunty wanted to speak to you, you
just shut yourself in your room." He
added, his tone accusing me.
I sighed closing my eyes. "I know I
acted like a stupid that day. I was
too shocked to make sense of
everything that happened." I
admitted. "What did she say about
Riddhima?" I asked once again.
"Not a stupid Armaan, your behavior
was childish." He said, his voice
depicting his frustration clearly. "Tell
me one thing, why do you always run
away when you are in such
situations? I accept you were
shocked. But you could have sat with
aunty and talked to her about why
she took that decision. And then
Riddhima, why didn't you speak to
her once before leaving? Even when
she came to the airport, you didn't
try to understand her." He was
irritated with me then. I was sure of
that. "Why do you want to think
about Riddhima now?"
"I don't know Rahul. I don't
understand why I had been thinking
about her. It's just that I couldn't
forget that look on her face when I
left her in the airport." I replied
equally frustrated. "Not only me
Rahul, Riddhima's behavior was also
weird." I added in a small voice.
He looked at me, narrowing his eyes.
"Okay fine! Tell me what mom told
you about Riddhima?" I tried once
again.
"Can you be specific?" He asked me.
"About what you want to know about her?" Iwish I could kick him for doing this tome. Couldn't he just answer to my question?
"About Riddhima's past, you know." I
said, not quite comfortable under his
gaze. But then he appeared as if he
wasn't satisfied with my way of
framing my specification. "Fine! I
want to know about Riddhima's
husband. Where was he and why was
she living with mom if she was
married?" I asked frustrated.
"Why do you want to know that?" He
asked, his posture cool, sipping his
beer.
"Please Rahul. Tell na." I almost
begged him. He choked on his beer
as the words left my throat. It was
usually rare that I plead him to this
extent for anything. But that didn't
work either.
"Okay!" I took a full breath. "I am
attracted to Riddhima, Rahul. I am
sure of that. I keep thinking about
her whenever I am free. And I feel
bad. I guess I regret my decision." I
spoke, telling him my feelings for the
first time. But the realization
shocked myself as much as it did to
him. "Before I think further, I want
to know few things about her."
"Finally, after three months, you
realized that?" He said smiling.
"Saale, now tell me." I threw the
news paper at his face when I found
him smirking at me. But then, he sat
straight, his face serious once again.
"Aunty told me that Riddhima was
married by a guy four years ago."
Rahul said slowly reading my
expression. "Aunty said that the guy
had loved Riddhima and married her
against their parent's wish."
"Oh!" That was all I managed to say.
"Then what happened?"
"I just know that after two months
that guy abandoned Riddhima, as he
was pressurized by his parents. He
never tried to reach her since then."
He said looking sober.
"What? How could he leave her just
like that?" I asked already angry at
that guy.
"May be he came to know something
about her past." He shrugged his
shoulders. "Just like you left her
midway." He added.
But his words stabbed me
somewhere. I couldn't bear that
comparison. May be I was similar to
some point, but I would never do
something like that. But I did leave
her side abruptly, didn't I?
"I am sorry, I didn't mean it that
way. " Rahul apologized immediately.
"Then Riddhima went into depression
for an year. When she was out of
that, she studied for CAT and got
into the college." He concluded and
looked at me.
But I couldn't speak anything.
He continued. "Riddhima's behavior
was never weird Armaan. I am not
sure, but I felt she had some
feelings for you." My heart
somersaulted at his words. "She was
just waiting for assurance from you."
"But she, herself, told that she
didn't want to get married to me." I
tried to argue.
"Check it out Armaan. That day, she
never told that she didn't want to
marry you. She just said that you
wouldn't want to marry her. " He
pointed it out. "And you just proved
her right."
That was true, she always repeated
that I wouldn't want to marry her.
But I didn't give it a thought. Now
that Rahul pointed it out, I felt what
Rahul said might have been true.
And my heat fluttered at that
thought she might have feelings
towards me. I felt strangely happy.
"Armaan, for the last couple of
months, you have been saying that
her eyes had been different that day
when she came to the airport." He
recalled my words. "Don't you think
her eyes had been pleading for one
chance from you then?" He asked
looking straight into my eyes.
That left me dumb folded. It was
true her eyes had been intense with
some emotion. But had she been
asking for a chance? The way she
held me tight, as if she didn't want
to let me go. It explains that. Had
she been scared of letting me go
when she said that she was scared?
And then she asked me if I would
come back. To her? That might be
the reason she came running to the
airport in tears.
Oh my God! I held my breath. All the
while she had been pleading me not
to go. As my mind processed
everything, I found myself asking the
same question. Why doesn't she say
it?
"Rahul, how could you understand
Riddhima so well?" I asked him
amidst my realizations.
He just smiled. "May be because we
belong to the same world; being
orphans where we come across love
which is only conditional. I have the
same fears and insecurities in me
that she probably might be facing."
He said, his voice depicting pain.
"You always said that I deserve
happiness just like you. If I do then
so does Riddhima." He added. "It is
up to you which happiness you want
to give her. Conditional or
unconditional."
Rahul left the room, leaving me in a
whirlwhind of thoughts and
emotions. I lay back on the sofa
closing my eyes. This time strangely I
didn't find the sight of her eyes
when she came to the airport.
Neither did I see the events of that
day when I was told that she was
married. Instead I saw the flashes of
our time spent together happily. Be
it near dining table during our
eating sessions or the day we spent
after I met Sanjana or the days when
I took her out for movies or
restaurants after she was assaulted
by her class mate. All I could see
was a smiling self. And at once, I
realized why I had been happy then
and unhappy for the last few
months.
The ring of my mobile broke my chain
of thoughts.
"Hello?" I took the call but I just
encountered silence on the other
end.
"Hello, is somebody on the line?" I
asked once again. But it was quite.
"Hello, can you hear me?" I tried
once again.
"Hel-" I swallowed my words when
my brain hinted who the other
person might be when I checked the
number.
"Riddhima?" I whispered softly. I
head a gasp and the line went dead,
but only after leaving a wide grin on
my face. I was right on the target.
The std code in the number was that
of Bangalore's. My heart jumped up
and down in inexplicable joy.
Finally, the fog in my mind was
cleared. I knew what I wanted.
"Rahul?" I called out for him
reaching his room. "Can you book a
ticket for me to Bangalore by
tomorrow's early morning flight?" I
asked him. He just stared at me
baffled for a second. I winked at him
and his face broke out into a smile.
"I'll talk to Ankit mean while." I
added.
I went back to my room literally
jumping and dancing. I was sure of
one thing.
Yes, I am happy now.
That's it for today! Please vote. -Isha