Say You Won't Let Go

21

TRIGGER!! *MENTIONS OF SUICIDE*

"You look hot. I see the belly is gone."

"H-how could you po-possible say that." I say looking down at Sebastian and I's intertwined hands. I felt him tense up and so I rubbed his knuckles. Even though it's gonna be hard I told Sebastian before we came to not interfere because I want this is be between me and the man who ruined my life. 

"I'm sorry did you want me to say something else?" He changed from confusion to sadness like the psycho he is. "Omg, baby are you ok? I heard you lost the baby.." He smiles.. "again."

"I uh- I "

"Come on Olivia, man up and say something or your famous boyfriend and his little charity case can go." 

"I'm not a cha-"

"You know I think it's funny that he is still with you, I mean has he not gotten tired of you yet. I mean come on Seb-" He looks in Sebastian's direction now. "The sex isn't even good, aren't you bored of using her useless pussy by now?" 

I saw Sebastian open his mouth to say something but I stopped him. I looked at him to see him staring at Danny and pulled his face to look in my direction. "You promised." I whispered to him. He gave me a single nod and looked away. 

"Dann-"

"You know what Olivia, I understand you now. You have to be paying him or something. You know... to fuck you because there is no way he would stay this long. No, wait I got it,  he pays you and you're just the fucking whore I thought you were. You were never cut out to be a mother. You should be thanking me for saving the kid - well kids from a miserable life with a slut mother."

"Sto-stop." I whisper under my breath.

"I mean I thought I beat you and raped you enough to the point were it would knock some sense into you but I guess not you're just a waste of space and now that I think about it, it would've been easier if I didn't save you that one day and let you drown-"

"ENOUGH!" 

"Olivia what is he talking about?" Sebastian whispered to me in a worried tone.

"You don't get to do that."

"And what is it I'm doing?" 

"BLAME ME! I did NOTHING! You hurt me everyday for years for reasons I don't understand. You would cut me for talking and slap me for breathing and for what? You know it is my fault that I stand for so long. I should've left the first time you laid your hand on me but I thought you were WORTH SOMETHING. Man was I wrong." 

"You hurt me and I did nothing but FUCKING LOVE YOU and a small part of me THOUGHT you would change over time. All that gave me was more beatings. The loss of a child and the ability to get pregnant."

I stood up and slammed on the table while tears were flooding out of my eyes. "I HATE YOU. I HATE THAT I LOVED YOU. I HATE THAT YOU'RE IN A CELL AND NOT DEAD. I HATE THAT YOU'RE GUARDED AND IT'S STOPPING ME FROM JUMPING THROUGH THIS GLASS AND BEATING YOU LIKE YOU DID ME. I HATE THAT DEEP DOWN I STILL LOVE THAT PARTS OF YOU THAT MADE ME HAPPY." 

I took a deep breath and sat back down. I looked down and the dirty floor. "You're done taking things from me. I'm done with letting you hurt me even if we aren't in the same room. I left you and for months a part of me was still scared you would just jump back into my life and hurt me." 

I lift my eyes so I wasn't looking at the floor anymore but I was looking into his eyes. "You are nothing more than a bad memory of my past and I'm over being scared of you."