Relapse (Hiatus)

III

Ugh, if I said that I don't hate mornings, I would be a big fat liar.

But for now,

I would say that I'm just fat.

Anyway,

It was around 6:30am when I got up, and I was woken up by Minji's thumping and the sun because I don't have blinds in the living room, which made me think about buying them because I can smell that Meguru is going to have sleepovers here with me from now on.

I couldn't change my clothes because my wardrobe is in my room and Meguru was still sleeping, so the morning in my pajamas it is!

I don't drink coffee in the morning because I would instantly go to the toilet and get diarrhea so fuck that. But I can always eat trash of a food, with a ton of regret later because I would be dying from stomach pain.

So to celebrate my dumb self, we're eating spicy noodles today for breakfast!

I put the water on the stove, and went to grab my white sage incense sticks from a drawer to light one up while I’m cooking around. It calms me down enough so I can go throughout the day without that much stress around, the bad thing is that I get sleepy, but who cares anyway.

And of course I played music because I don’t like being in complete silence, that scares me literally too much. As my mom says, you’ll lay in silence when you die so just play music and fuck it. 

I literally put every spicy thing that I had in my house in these noodles, I can’t believe that I’m even eating these without any problem. 

As I was eating my noodles, I heard Meguru coming from the bedroom, but I also heard Minji hopping around.

Those fuckers.

'You really want to pick up Minji's poop first thing in the morning Meguru?' I asked, laughing, while my mouth was full.

'Nah, I will make sure that he doesn't leave poops around.'

He picked Minji up in his hands and started kissing his little head like a thousand times and spat Minji's hairs from his mouth at the same time. 

'Is your back okay now by the way?'

'OH, it is actually- HEY!'

Minji started wiggling and he jumped on Meguru's shoulders wanting to climb onto his head, but instead he put his little front legs on his head and started chewing Meguru's hair.

This is so fun to watch because I'm not the one getting a fluff ball on my head.

That's why I have so much hair sticking from my head because as you can see I have a little hairdresser in my apartment.

And then, of course,

'YOU LITTLE FUCKER'

Minji peed on him.

I started laughing my ass off literally because how fast Meguru was trying to get him off of him, but Minji won't give up.

'Hey, cheer up, he does that all the time to my best friend and me.'

He looked at me dead serious for a moment while he was putting Minji down on the floor and I thought that I'm done with my life. I was already in 'tell my mom that I forgive her for all the trauma that she caused me' mode. But that probably would not happen even if I was dying. Lmao.

'Ugh, I'm just gonna go take a shower real quick because I really don't want to stink because of this little bitch on the first day in a new class to be honest.'

'Ayo don't bully my baby, or you're gonna go naked to the class today!'

'Yeaaah okay, I'm sorry for bullying your little baby boy, but I want an apology in the form of food on the table when I get out of the shower because he peed on me, are we clear?'

'Ayeaye captain, now go, u stink.'

'Fuck off.' He chuckled.

I gave him my brother's clothes and he went inside the bathroom, and then I went to the kitchen to make him at least eggs because I literally don't have that much food in my fridge because I'm not in my apartment for the entire day so I eat outside all the time. Maybe I should go buy some groceries tomorrow with Mizuki, I haven't heard from her in a few days now actually when I think about it.

But I'll call her tomorrow anyway, she's, I guarantee, still sleeping right now so I don't want to wake the beast up or I will get shot in the head next time when I see her.

Maybe she wouldn't kill me.

I mean I'm her best friend.

Maybe she found a new best friend at her college?..

But she would tell me if she doesn't want to talk anymore, I mean she's pretty straightforward. Also it would be a shame to end a 5 year friendship because of a stupid reason. 

Maybe I'm possesive?

I actually may be. Just because I always feel alone and probably scared to lose people in my life that I actually appreciate having beside me.

But that number of people is as low as it can be.

Mizuki, my brother and Anya. Like that's it.

But Mizuki is something else literally. A few years ago I thought that I may be bisexual because of her, but after some time I actually realised that everything we have is platonic as it is.

She's the only person that I actually want to hug lol. 

Also she helped me to go through my mom's angry phases and shit like that.

I can't explain everything now but all I have to say is that she means the world to me. And I would never tell her in person because fuck that shit we're not getting actually emotional and affectionate around people.

When I actually think about everything that I went through with some people I just want to cry in the corner.

Simply because I personally don't think that I deserve people in my life like that. Because I'm a really harsh person in general and I don't choose my words with anyone. I just say everything I have and most of the time I feel bad because I said something that I actually didn't want to say. But I never apologize. And that's my worst trait.

I lost so many people because of my pride and sharp tongue. But most of them I didn't even want to deal with in the first place so you can say that I took the trash out. 

I even never apologized to my own father, and I didn't even give a shit. I still don't.

That's literally the first rule of life, you don't have to respect someone just because they're 'a family'.

Fuck no.

Run them over with a truck if you have to.

And I hate to break this in the middle of my thoughts, but If I don't, Meguru's eggs will be burnt down with my kitchen.

I just space out a lot and I hate that when I actually have to do something in the moment.

As I finished cooking, Meguru came out of the shower and he sat down to eat so I can get ready for college.

I put Minji in his cage, got dressed and we quickly got out of the apartment because we need to catch a bus.

We arrived at college, and the day was… you can say..

Very interesting.

 
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Um yeah, here's the 3rd chapter

It's a lot shorter than I wanted it to be but I started with college so I'm literally everywhere and I already have shit ton of work to do 💀

Anyway, about the concept od the story, I already said that it will be a slow burn, but besides that, I'm just trying to explain Y/N's life for now by her just spacing out for a long time.

Because that's what I do 💀

Things will get interesting with other people now tho, until we get to Rin.

It will be a journey, and I hope that yall will follow thru that!

Till next time xoxo

Z.