Relapse (Hiatus)

V

❗TRIGGER WARNING❗

Mention of sexual assault.

I don't know why that guy triggered this. Even if I knew, I could think only about one thing that could bring my ptsd out. But he never said anything to do with that. 

Why the hell do I always have these reactions after I have an interaction with male people. I'm attracted to them for fucks sake.

And also it's been a long time since those accidents…

I can't even call them accidents… Because everything that happened was intentional. Not from my side of course. Never wanted that to happen to me. Not to anyone ever actually. 

My lungs literally stop working when I think about those times. Who's wouldn't?

Basically, I was raped two times in my life, once when I was nine years old, and the other time I was sixteen. 

I was in a mental hospital for three months when I was raped when I was sixteen, because at that moment I also broke up with my first love. Or should I say, that piece of shit broke up with me after he found out that I was raped.

Never got a trial… Never got shit, just because the guy that raped me was a minor. So he just walks around like that, especially because his father is a cop. And his aunt is a judge.

The worst thing is that he never stopped doing that shit.

I wish him all the worst literally.

On the other hand, outside of the academy, even though Bachira was worried about Y/N, especially because she helped him before, Anya stopped him from going anywhere.

'Don't follow her, believe me, as much as you are worried about her, she WILL fight you off.'

'But Anya she's there alone, how the fuck you can just stay here and smoke still?!'

He sounded almost angry, which made Anya concerned but still, she knew Y/N better, and she was right, they should leave her alone.

'Listen Bachira, you will maybe hear stories around here about Y/N, mostly lies, but believe me, she will tell you the truth and why she literally ran off right now.'

Anya maybe sounded cheesy right now like we're still in highschool and all have depression. But it was true, people still after you become an adult have complexes and issues with you for no reason.

I don't easily get triggered by something, and I don't want to come off as a person who has a victim complex or like someone who's problems are bigger than someone else's. But still I think it's not something to be quiet about.

Or maybe I should just stay quiet….

After my dramatic moment I just washed myself up and went back to the class.

For some reason they were already going for another cigarette?¿

I just stood there like a picture on the wall not knowing how long I was in the damn bathroom.

Thea, my other friend from class, noticed me standing in the hall and looking at them going outside and she showed her hand with my jacket in it.

'I figured you'd be back by the time we have a smoke break' she smiled.

I loved that little midget, even tho Anya is the one I knew the most, Thea was maybe a bit closer to me.

'Come on you two stupid baboons! I want my coffee and cigarettes fast.'

'Oh shut up Brielle we're coming.'

Ah yeah that's my friendship group with 4 of us in it. Even though if we include Meguru, now it would be 5.
Anya is, as you already know, now a simp. Before that she was one of those hot emo bisexuals who's hardcore leaning towards women and now she found that one guy who now got all of her attention.
Thea is kind of like a mom friend, the most normal one actually, also bisexual, with a boyfriend, who's a fucking nerd, but we all love his nerd ass so we don't mind. He brings out his fucking laptop everywhere with a excuse called 'You don't know when the midterm is gonna come up'.
Brielle is a.. mess¿ Another bisexual, also with a boyfriend who's kind of a junkie, but she's also like that, but not that much. She's funny asf I'll fucking give her that, and she will beat your ass if you did anything to anyone in our little group. And I will follow her thru that shit. Oh and all three of them are my cigarette bank. Because I always don't have any. And if I do have them, Brielle literally wants to slap me because she doesn't like what I smoke.

Now when you look at it, I'm technically the only one single here. Bye, I need to find someone soon rather than later. It's getting boring as fuck because they're always busy with their little bitch boys, no offense to them, I just call them like that.
Our academy is full of hot guys but the thing is; YOU CAN'T EVEN TRY TO GUESS WHO'S GAY AND WHO'S NOT.  Even tho I'm bi there's just one girl that I would date but she's one of my close friends around here, she's on illustration major tho.

Hm…

Nah I can't do that shit, we're only first year it would be a disaster after we break up, but on the other hand-

'Y/N!!!'

I snapped immediately from my thoughts, seeing Brielle giving me my coffee through the window of the cafeteria.

'For fuck's sake you rat can you snap out of it for once, I could die in front of you and you would not even look.'

'Well thanks my love.' I blew her a kiss. I would pay someone to take the photo of her face when I did that. The amount of disgust on her face was literally warming my heart. She then threw a cig through the window to me while she was waiting for her coffee to be done.

As I lit it up, Meguru came up to me with Anya and two other guys with them.

'Hey Y/N! I wanted to introduce you to my best friends, since it's the only thing I can do for now to pay you back for meeting me with Anya.'

As I looked at them, they actually looked kind of like brothers for some reason, but I could tell that they're probably not. They both had black hair and blue eyes but very different shades of them, and one smiled at me while the other one…. Eh, I think he's not in the mood I guess.

'This shawty bae here is Yoichi Isagi, and this little bitch next to him is Rin Itoshi.'

HIIII GUUYS!!! I'M BACK WITH ANOTHER TRASHY CHAPTER 🥳
I'm back after my long ass hiatus. I just finished my first year of college, it was wild I could say, and I'm going to continue writing this while I'm on a summer break while I can.
I'm so sorry for not posting because I swear I just didn't have time for it because of how much work I had to do.
I'll post regularly from now on so buckle up for a ride ✨️