To My Youth [BL]

[11] Until the Seagulls Drown My Voice (5/5)

The moment he exited the stifling room, Lan Yuning stood by the door silently.

Gu Xiao's eyes briefly brushed over him, but he didn't even notice Lan Yuning's presence fully and walked past him.

His head was still numbed and disorganised, so he was afraid that he might flare up again if someone were to talk to him.

He didn't want to hurt anyone else with his stubborn and immature words.

His stubbornness chased after him. He should have just kept it to himself instead of lashing out at a teacher who was trying to look out for him. But to hear Mr. Shen tell him he would end up suffering in the future forced his heart to swell.

"Gu Xiao," Lan Yuning said softly and attempted to grab his wrist.

However, he continued walking off, not allowing his feet to stop moving for a single second. His eyes lacked vitality.

For the first time, a glimpse of his most hidden emotions themselves. The pale, sombre face only communicated this intense suffering, as though all light died away and only bitter and raw ashes remained.

No words escaped Lan Yuning's throat, and he watched the boy trudge away with his hands in his pockets.

The abscess in Lan Yuning's heart grew more prominent the more he walked further away. Although he attempted to keep a faint distance, he didn't want to watch that back fade further out into the distance.

It was ironic. But he, too, was stupid. So he dashed to Gu Xiao and grabbed his wrist again with a tighter force.

Gu Xiao flinched from pain and shock, since his bones were aching.

"Hey—"

Lan Yuning pulled him away and dragged him down the hallway. While he tried to struggle from his grasp, his bones were so numb that even the frail boy's grip felt strong.

"Hey, Student President."

Lan Yuning whipped his head around, and he jolted from fear as Lan Yuning glared at him with eyes that could burn through one's skull.

He dragged Gu Xiao into the infirmary and pushed him onto the chair. Luckily, the nurse wasn't there since she was on break, or else she would've freaked out when she saw the state of this boy.

Lan Yuning grabbed disinfectant, ointment, and different bandages from the cabinet. He glanced at Gu Xiao, who gazed into the distance with dull eyes.

Lan Yuning thought he needed to say something, but perhaps the silence was best for both of them right now.

Gu Xiao struggled to speak. There were always certain words that couldn't be spoken, certain facts that couldn't be acknowledged.

He was so light-headed from swallowing back his words and frustration that he just titled his head up to allow this inexplicable heat to flow backward.

✎✎✎

Within the absent conversation, the broken air conditioner's rattle and the radio's static music filled the air. It was a classical piece sounding similar to Schubert's Ständchen.

Lan Yuning sat in front of Gu Xiao and started cleaning the wounds on his knuckles and palms.

Observing Lan Yuning clean the lacerations, he watched him dab the cloth softly, as though he was afraid of inflicting more pain onto him.

The only genuine ache was to know so clearly that all the words and emotions were bottled up within, but there was no slightest clue how to pour them out. Afraid that they would all fall through one's fingertips if they tried, and everything would become out of control.