To My Youth [BL]

[38] Eighteen (2/4)

Suddenly, his phone vibrated his table, and Lan Yuning eyed it. 

When he saw that name, he immediately yanked his phone in front of him and opened the notification. 

He read the message word for word and his body froze.

Abruptly, Lan Yuning bolted up, forcing his chair to fall back. Everyone jolted by the sudden noise and stole numerous glances back at Lan Yuning with faces carrying confusion.

"Lan Yuning is there something wrong?" their teacher stammered.

"I don't feel well," Lan Yuning blurted before dashing out of the classroom, not allowing the teacher to even ask any questions.

Lan Yuning dashed down the corridor. 

He dialled Gu Xiao's number, but it only led him to his voicemail. 

He kept trying to call him, but none of his calls went through. 

Hurryingly, Lan Yuning immediately rushed down the stairs and out to the side gate, where there were no teachers supervising. 

A sort of blankness had already washed his mind. That, for the first time, he found himself climbing up the wall and jumping out onto the streets.

《In 7 years. Maybe there will be a time in the future where we will cross paths again. It's scary how the next time we meet, we will probably be full-grown adults.》

He bolted down to the bus stop, but the moment he arrived, the bus had already left. 

He was too late again. 

Lan Yuning checked the timetable and the next one was in twenty minutes. 

Clicking his tongue, he tried to look around to see if there were any public bikes, but there were none.

《I will remember the moments I spent with you. Right now, there is nothing I can offer to you besides these words. I'm sorry for being weak. I have made too many mistakes that I'm afraid that I will hurt you even more. I'm sorry. Even though I doubt it, but if you don't have anyone by your side then, I hope you will give me another chance.》

Lan Yuning kept running and running. His lungs burned and the cold air stung his nose each time he breathed for oxygen. 

Every time. 

This always happened every time. 

Every time Gu Xiao was involved, his calm composure always ended up destroyed. But it didn't matter how messy he ended up looking, he kept running. 

He allowed his feet to move forward, even though his body could no longer take it. As long as he could reach him in time. As long as he could tell him the words that he always wanted to say to him.

《I will grow into someone who is worthy of you. So, I will look for you.》

Turning the corner, he ran past the red lights and onto the other street.

Walking down the corridor and hearing the cries of that boy and his sister yelling at him every day. 

Waiting for class to start so the distance between them was only a few inches, and to feel his elbow invade his table each time he slept. 

Walking through that gate and hearing that loud voice echoed from behind. 

When he always pulled him closer to avoid him bumping into others. 

Even having him give the most random gifts. 

There was no one there anymore.

《Despite everything that has happened, I hope we will still be able to remain friends, or even just acquaintances. Don't forget about me. If you do, then I guess it meant I wasn't annoying enough ahaha...》

He was so used to these days of boredom that he had become numb to this repeating cycle as years passed. Yet, if these repeating days of mundaneness returned, he knew it would be more destitute than usual. 

It was like his life was initially just a tiny bud that stopped growing, but after he came, it started growing again as the sun's rays shone on it for the first time, yet this warmth left. 

Now, this bud didn't revert back to its normal size. It didn't rot. It didn't decay. But instead, it had no choice but to continue growing in this cold and desolate space.

With all these stifling emotions and thoughts running ahead of him, he wrung his fatigue from every inch of his body. There was nothing more he could do. He knew it himself.

《I hope you will allow me to call your name when that time comes. Even if you detest me for what I have done, I will still look for you. I'm just stubborn like that.》

He was afraid. 

What is after a few months, that boy wouldn't like him anymore?

 What if his feelings changed? 

What if he forgets about him? 

He couldn't get the thought that the boy would forget about him out of his head, even though it was foolish to think like this. 

But even though he knew he shouldn't be so selfish as to have these immature thoughts, he couldn't deny that it didn't hurt him. 

Being forgotten, that was.

Just thinking about someone else standing by Gu Xiao's side, whom he was able to give his whole heart to, and that other person could, too.

This pained him. 

After all, there were bound to be much better people than him. He still didn't know why that boy would like him out of everyone. 

In Lan Yuning's eyes, he truly had no outstanding qualities compared to others besides his family background, but he knew the boy didn't care about that.

《Let's meet again soon.》

After turning corners around each street and running past multiple lights, he finally arrived at the address. 

Although his heart was pounding from the extensive sprinting, his heart immediately ceased beating when he saw that tall boy in a white shirt. 

His sister and father walked back into the house, leaving only Gu Xiao outside to sort out the luggage and boxes.

He wanted to call out to him. He wanted to...

Gu Xiao put another box down in front of the car and wiped the sweat drizzling down his forehead. 

His head shifted, and they both caught each other in their visions once again. 

The insects and birds chirped ever so slightly, introducing new soothing harmonies that were carried away by the wind. 

The leaves and dried flowers drifted away from its branches, slowly swaying to and fro before gently lowering themselves onto the ground.

Gu Xiao widened his eyes as Lan Yuning approached him, his slow steps soon becoming sprints.

"Lan Yuning? What are you doing here—"

He didn't want to regret anything.