Lost

Ice ice

"Have you truly healed or are just burying your emotions?"

"I don't know."

"You seemed to be confused about your feelings."
"So, I ask you again John. How do you feel?"

"I don't feel anything."

"Feeling nothing, is a feeling."

John tilted his head at his therapist in confusion.

"Would you like for me to elaborate?"

"That would be nice." He laughed softly adjusting his posture.

"The feeling of nothing. It's like being numb to everything, so you're not really bothered by every little thing. You become numb because you've been feeling this..."

she stopped mid sentence placing her pen down. She took a deep breath then proceeded.

"Constant hurt and pain for so long that it just doesn't hurt anymore. However, John, there are times where you cry, feel sad, angry, and other grief emotions. You're not completely numb...because at night, when you're alone, those emotions will catch you. I want you to express those emotions to me. When you are alone in your thoughts, what do you truly feel John?"

The eye contact between John and his therapist didn't last long. She knew she had finally broke the thick ice with John. He paced his eyes around the floor, his body language became tight because he knew exactly what she talking about at that very moment. She relaxed back, pushed her pen ready to write as she watched his uncomfortable behavior.