Lost

You are truly not yourself

After being at work all day, I checked up Emma who was now back at my house.

"Why did you bring me here?"
"Because my kids are gone with their friends. It would be best if you let me take care you."

The room was silent as I covered her up between my sheet. "I will you give you some space to be alone."
"John, no please stay." Her hand gripped my arm pulling me towards the edge of the bed.
"Stay with me John." She said as she sat up to kiss my lips. I gently wrapped my arms around her as she melted into my arms. Moments like this I thought about April and I making love. I won't ever truly be able to love another woman, as when I look into her eyes my mind drifts away to us.

April and I.

Dreaming and dazing off into my own thoughts becomes real. When in reality, this is another woman who is not my lover. I can't help but to think about you, April.

"John, you have to be gently with me." April whispered.
"I'm sorry, Im just a little excited." I smiled as my mind drifted away. The hands of another woman, but my mind only felt the love of you. Her fingers digging into my back, her legs squeezing my head as my face smothered April's lips. An illusion of false love filled the air, but I could careless because it was everything I ever wanted. Even if it wasn't real, my mind drifted to April.

This session of love was not real between the two of them. In John's head he was making love to April, but for Emma this is a man making love to her through another woman. Though, she didn't know that and John dug her deeper into a love that wasn't there to begin with.

John worried about her health, so to seem. However, he's experiencing an attachment issue with the woman he has now become close with. It's easy for one who has lost his loved ones to crave affection, to become lonely, to the point where they become desperate for love. It may not be the person you want, but with someone who is fascinated with the past it's easy to disconnect from reality. It's like a drug. You take it once, you enjoy the feeling, and you want it more because that feeling is comforting.

Disconnected.

Delusional.

Lonely.

Lost.

Regretful.

I am all those things.

PSA!!

I do not own or have any rights to this picture. I found this picture on Pinterest with this link https://pin.it/5A39IKm

All rights reserved to the officially owner/creator/artist. If you are the owner and want this removed feel free to message me and I will respect your wishes or if you would like proper credit, feel free to me message. Again, I do not own the picture!