Lost

Feelings

"John..."
"Hmm?"
"Get up, it's morning."
"We can take a day off."
"You have several meetings today and three kids to tend to. Let's be responsible adults and get up."

I rose my head up from the pillow and gripped Emma's arm gently.
"Thank you....thank you for everything." My head fell onto the pillow as I looked at her. I was exhausted and couldn't find the strength to get up. Usually I didn't have any trouble getting up if I stayed up late, so why do I feel like this now.
"You're welcome." She smiled kissing my head before rising up from the bed.

My eyes felt heavy and sore like a thousand needles. I got up from the bed to get myself cleaned up, but realized I didn't have any clothing.

"I know, your clothes will be here soon." She said.
"What do you mean?"
"Last night when you were passed out after we had sex, I realized you weren't going home. Therefore, I order you a suit and undergarments. Don't worry I made sure it was nice and expensive."
"Thank you."

Emma looked at me from the mirror, but I felt like she was trying to read me. I shook it off and grabbed a clean toothbrush from her storage closet.
"You sure do have a lot supplies here. Why so many of everything when it's only you?"
"Well, stocking up is nice so I don't have to keep shopping all the time. I also keep extra stuff in my car or purses just in case. Oh! And when my friends come over I can always have something for them to use if they need it." She explained.
"Hmm, I only do that because I have my kids. But, when I was alone before children I only got enough for myself."
"How are your kids this morning? Did you call them or at least text them?"
"I normally leave before they do sometimes, but I also have security cameras to detect anything out of line at home."

She dried her face off and cleaned around the sink from strays of water. Emma went to the shower turning it on and closing the door to it.
"You got another robe?"
"I do actually, yes."
"You think it will fit me?"
"John, get in the shower."
"I'm just asking."

We laughed as we both hopped into the shower.

-

As usual, Emma gets to work before I do. However, to avoid any suspicion I came in later after I dropped her off.

"GoodMorning everyone! Make sure to stop by the dining room for some breakfast! As always, I made sure to bring something for everyone. My vegans and vegetarians, no salt to little salt meals, and lots of protein for my building muscles people. You know, a little bit for everyone, so please eat as much as you want." I smiled at my workers as they clapped together before breaking out.

"Meetings, meetings! Let's go Mr.Carter."
"Amora, why did you book me so early?" I complained as we walked.
"Because you are a father and need to get home to your kids. The quicker you get your meetings out the way, the less you have to worry and get to go home."
"Bleh, where's Emma?" I laughed giving her a fist bump.
"She said she wasn't feeling good, so I sent her home."
"She wasn't feeling good?" I looked at Amora trying to calm myself down.
"Her chest was giving her problems and I'm picking up her load."
"When did this happen?"
"Actually not too long before you got here. She was crying, Mr.Carter. I did what I felt was right."
"You did the right thing, thank you. I will make sure to check up on her. I hope she's okay."

Uh! What is this feeling? Am I-wait, no it can't be. Am I having a panic attack? I know this feeling all to well. I get a bit of happiness and everything is gone, but Emma is okay...at least that's what I want to think. She's going to be okay.

"Please call her now and make sure she is okay, please."

What is wrong with me? Why do I feel so, out of breath. Emma was nothing more than just a toy to me, so why am I so worried? When this happened before I was only being a good boss. Now, I'm losing my head over her.