I hissed in pain as I put an ointment on my wounds before wrapping it all up with a bandage. I was sitting in one of my houses here in the suburbs of South Korea, a place with almost none around.
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I sat down on the sofa in my living room after grabbing a can of beer while looking at my phone ringing on the table in front of me. They must be done with the shoot now probably and have found out that I have gone missing. I opened the can and tried to drink away my feelings, maybe I should try to drink my life away? I chuckled bitterly and turned on the tv.
Tv: B4U and Iz*one member Park Jahoon have been seen going on a date with SM entertainment new girl group Aespa member Winter. It was reported that they were seen close to Iz*one's new dorm kissing...
I turned off the tv and threw the remote at it, making it fall down and break. I leaned backward while running a hand through my hair while breathing out heavily. Even being here in the suburbs wouldn't give me any rest from all this. I clenched the can, making the beer spill all over me but I could care less.
???: Why don't you try to kill yourself again?
Jahoon: Oh shut up. I don't want to hear you again.
???: Why? Hehehe, you know that the pain would be sweeter than the pain you "supposedly" gave you.
Jahoon: I said shut the hell up!!!
I stood up and threw the can of beer. I grabbed my hair while closing my eyes completely shut.
Jahoon: I don't want to hear it.... I don't want to hear any of your shit.
???: You know that you can never escape me. On the other side, think about it I'm the only one who has been with you. Even your own parents don't want to have anything to do with you. No one wants you.
Jahoon: Well that I can't deny.
I chuckled bitterly before laughing full out. Whoever would have seen me right now, would have thought that I have gone crazy which is probably right. I slowly walked upstairs to one of the bathrooms and filled the sink with water before drowning my whole head in the water. Even after a few minutes, I couldn't feel any pain of missing air. I stood back straight up and ran a hand through my hair, swiping away from my face. I grabbed the sink and looked at my pathetic self. What did people even see in me? All I saw was a disgusting look person, that didn't deserve to live.
???: What did I say? Now you even agree with me. You should have stayed with your parents and let them kill you instead of running away.
