Meet some friends of mine

The funniest thing

AUTHORS NOTES:
Also I forgot to mention I'm British so if there's any errors in regards to schooling etc, pls just use ur imagination lmao I absolutely had to google what a freshman was

Y/N's POV:
We arrive at Cartmans house and decide to watch TV. The only boys house I've ever been to was Butters, back in grade school when we played superheroes.
"No ones gonna be online on Xbox anyway since they're all doing their boring shit" he brushes off.
I go to respond when Liane, Eric's mom, bursts into the room with cookies. She sets them down gingerly.
"Oh I'm sorry poopsikins I didn't realise you had company" she gushes, looking at me excitedly. "Are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?"
"Fuck off mom"
"Ok sweetie, you guys let me know if you need anything".
She leaves but shyly glances back to get another look at me.
"Fuckin' bitch" he mutters, picking up a cookie and turning on the TV. It's on Terrance and Phillip. I can see a slight flush to his pale complexion. I'm not sure if it's from his TV being left on cartoons or what his mom just said.

I've known him since I joined South Park elementary in 5th grade. He has well-combed mousy brown hair and light brown-hazel eyes. He kind of grew into his figure and is just sporting a dad bod but I can still only see him as the angry fat kid from childhood.

His cat jumps into my lap and starts rubbing up against me.
"No Mr Kitty, that's a bad kitty" he scolds.
"Isn't she a miss kitty? She's in heat right?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"Did you just assume my cats gender?" He mocks.
I roll my eyes.
"You sound like PC principal" I say and we both crack up. "Careful, he'll send us to tolerance camp again" I add, still laughing.
"The only camp place I walk into is Kyles house" he scoffs. Suddenly I wonder if Kyle is actually gay. Or bi. Hmm.

Eric interrupts my train of thought.
"I fucking hate this cat, I'm 19 and he's still kicking, stupid thing won't die, he's gonna outlive us all" he says, glowering at Mr Kitty.
"Meow"
"She's definitely a girl though" I decide.
"No he's not" he defends. "I gotta pee, you can change channel if you want" he shrugs, tossing me the remote.
Whilst he's upstairs I decide to get a definitive answer. I enter the kitchen and smile at his mom.
"Is Mr kitty a girl or a boy?" I ask. She suddenly looks panicked. "I'll tell you something but you have to promise not to tell Eric, it would break his little heart" she says, seriously.
"Of course Miss Cartman" I nod. She bends down and whispers into my ear. Oh my God. I don't know how I manage to keep a solemn face, inside I am cackling. I have got to tell Kyle.

After a while we go up to Cartmans room to play Xbox. He quickly shoves his stuffed Clyde frog off the bed in an attempt to hide it. I smile. He's showing off all his latest gaming achievements when a banner pops up.
Masterninjew is online
My heart flutters a bit.
"Do you think Kyle really is gay?" I ask thoughtfully.
"Yeah for sure, total fuckin homo dude. Have you seen the way he looks at Stan?" he laughs.
I laugh feebly but my heart sinks. I guess I liked him more than I thought. Or maybe the fact he's unavailable makes me like him more. That's one to unpack in therapy.
I beat Cartman at COD and he gets pissed.
"Fuckin' camping whore, you're using hacks" he yells, but almost softly, by way of affection. I just laugh at him and I see the faint blush return. He gets a call and cooly says "I have to take this, it's business", secretly glad to escape his embarrassment.
He leaves the room and I take the opportunity to text Kyle.

Omg dude Cartmans mom told me the funniest thing. Can I come over? It won't be the same over headset, you're gonna wanna hear in person

I've never been to Kyles house but we've been talking on Xbox for a couple years. He gives me snippets of his personal life whilst we wait in lobbies. He never gets mad or rage quits, I think he's the calmest person I've ever met. Aside from when Cartman gets under his skin, then he's as fiery as his hair. Sometimes we walk home from college together when his car is in the garage. He once got my advice on how to deal with his breakup from Nichole and in exchange he taught me how to play WoW.

Yeah sure drop by around 6pm?

"Are we talking here or not? You're breaking my balls here man" I hear Cartman sighing from the hallway. I can tell he's rubbing his forehead in exasperation. He's a good negotiator, I'll give him that. More like manipulator is what Kyle would say.

Great, see you then:)  I reply, smiling to myself