Meet some friends of mine

Grey day

Kyles POV:
I lay back onto the pillow, deep in thought. Y/N must have left early again but I know I didn't imagine last night from the faint sting on my back. I turn to the bedside table and once again find a note

It was so hard to leave you, you're so cute when you're sleeping. And all the time... Anyways, there's coffee in the pot and the key is on the table, I'll call you after class<3

I try and think positively. If I focus on Y/N and not anything earlier in the evening, I'll be okay. But my mind keeps wondering. God I hate being alone with my own thoughts.
Now Stan knows I like him. Or thinks I used to. Either way he knows I had...those kind of feelings for a guy and I bet he's told people already. Token and Clyde will be ripping on me for sure. I cringe inwardly. What if it gets back to Y/N? Everything is going to fall apart. Maybe I could tell her he's lying. Everyone knows he's drunk more often than he's sober, it would be easy to discredit him...

I'm not sure I could do that to him.

I've really fucked things up. Me and my big mouth. I should have just let him think I ditched him because I have a chip on my shoulder.
Maybe he won't tell, we were best friends for so many years, he'll know how hard it was for me to open up. Would he really use it against me as leverage? I don't know anymore. I just don't know.

Admitting I liked a guy wasn't as hard as I thought. So then why did I ask Y/N to be my girlfriend? I bury my face into the pillow. Oh yeah, right, because I took her virginity and I'd be the biggest asshole in the world if I didn't at least try and follow up.

Y/N's POV:
I sit in class distractedly thinking about Kyle, rain hammering down on the window outside. I'm already planning round 2, a tiny smile playing on my lips. Kenny has made it into class today and takes the seat next to me. Any other time I'd be thrilled at the prospect of getting to stare at his cheekbones rather than the back of his head but today he flies under my radar.
"Okay, everyone turn to the person next to you and discuss your interpretation of the poem. We'll all touch base and share in 5-10 minutes" our professor declares, snapping me out of my daydream.
I instinctively turn to the girl on my left but she's already partnered up with the girl the other side of her. Reluctantly, I turn back to my right and face Kenny.
"Okay" I start, sounding more brave than I feel. "When the poet refers to hating 'the man' we could take that at face value, simply taking a disdain to a man. However it could be interpreted as something bigger, like 'sticking it to the man', in which he is referring to the government or figures of power" I waffle, not even convinced myself. He looks at me and raises an eyebrow.
"I know, it's stupid. But Mr. Wyland has been up my ass recently so just go with it. Unless you have something better?"
"You, in trouble? Yeah right" he scoffs, making me feel like an idiot.
"Yeah, trouble. It's this thing that can happen when you actually show up" I bite back.
To my surprise, he laughs.
"Touché"

I notice the doodles in his notebook and they're really good. There's no chance he's getting a compliment from me though. He has nice handwriting too. Ugh, I totally still have a thing for him, who am I kidding?

Kenny presents on behalf of us, running with my idea and his charm totally sells it. Even I begin to think I'm a genius. He has a deep clear voice that I wish he'd use more. I'm glad he stopped wearing that parka all the time, although with the weather today, I'm not sure he'd feel the same.
As we pack up to leave he takes a step closer.
"You need a ride home?" He asks, gesturing at the downpour.
"N-no, thank you. Appreciate it though" I manage. He shrugs and strides off.
It's just my natural instinct to not accept anything from anyone but on the wet walk home I curse myself the entire time. And now he'll never ask again. Maybe he'd have played cool indie music and I could have said something super witty and sarcastic and won him round instantly and maybe he'd fall in love with me because I'm just so cool and different. Maybe.
The reality is arriving home soaked and freezing. Part of me hopes Kyle is still around, he hasn't text all day. Maybe my note scared him off. But the house is empty so I decide to take a hot shower and sit down to catch up with the guys on Xbox.
"Cartman, how did it go with Heidi? Spare me the details though" I ask jokingly
"He hasn't been online since. We lost another good soldier to a relationship, can I get an F in chat" jokes Butters
"But he's the one who always shits on everyone else for abandoning their friends for girls! I can't with him" I say, rolling my eyes. Kyle is in chat but not saying anything. I decide to disconnect and play by myself for the rest of the evening, a sudden melancholy washing over me.

Kyles POV:
I'm about to text Y/N when my phone starts ringing. It's Stan. My heart beats fast as I gingerly pick up.
"Hello?" I ask, scared I'm going to hear Token or Clyde on the other end.
"Hey" says Stan, cooly "can we meet up or something?"
"What so you can hit me again?" I ask, trying to have the upper hand despite all he knows, trying to regain control of the situation.
"Forget it. Look, I'm sorry about that and I'm not going to tell anyone. See you round" he mumbles before the line goes dead.
I suddenly feel bad. He was trying to be the bigger person and I threw it in his face. We're too similar and too stubborn and we keep butting heads. It's my turn to swallow my pride. I call him back but it goes straight to voicemail. I leave one.

I just want things back to how they were before, I'm sick of all the fighting and I don't care about any of the shit we've said or done. I just need a friend again, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If we can pretend it never happened I'd appreciate it. It won't be weird, we'll laugh about it some day

I hope what I'm saying is true.