Meet some friends of mine

Deal with the devil

Y/N's POV:
It's Saturday and I'm meeting the guys for pizza at Whistlin' Willy's. Kyle picks me up and I sit in the back, Stan riding shotgun. He sings along to the radio, carefree. I can't help but feel jealousy in the pit of my stomach, a yearning for what they have. I was so close and yet so far. Kyle told me they're keeping their relationship secret and that Cartman isn't to know under any circumstance. It's a small blessing in that I don't have to watch them all over each other but catching their secret knowing glances is enough. More than enough.

We pull up, Cartman already inside, no doubt eating appetisers. I clock him as we enter and he's on the phone to Heidi, sighing and pretending to be interested in what she's saying. Stan and Kyle sit opposite each other so I flop down across from Cartman. We order drinks whilst Cartman finishes up his call. "Look babe, I've got to go, the guys have just turned up... Yep.... Yeah?" Cartman nods along, bored.
Suddenly he bursts out laughing maniacally. "Babe, oh God. You're so funny. And smart. But you've got that so wrong" he manages, still falling about laughing. "No, no, I'm not saying you're wrong but Y/N isn't that stupid, trust me. Look babe I have to go, I'll call you later. Yeah yeah, love you too" he says, hanging up.
I look at him expectantly for an explanation as the waiter puts our drinks down on the table.
"I told Heidi you guys arrived and she said what a cute couple you two make. You and Kyle. Could you imagine? I told her you're not that dumb." He explains, still laughing to himself. I sneak a glance at Stan and Kyle, both sat bolt upright looking vaguely alarmed. I laugh nervously.
"Yeah, no offence Kyle but I'm really not that dumb" I say, taking a sip of Dr Pepper to hide my expression. Oh how I wish that were true.
I wonder if I should bring up my awareness of Heidis future plans in order to take the heat off but my better nature decides against it.

Stan and Kyle share a pizza and I share with Cartman, which he doesn't mind because I just take one slice and absentmindedly push it around my plate, still mulling over the scenes from the car. Eric taps away on his work phone whilst Stan and Kyle just make coy glances at each other, oblivious to the rest of the world. Cartman doesn't seem to notice their looks. Ignorance is bliss I guess. I push down a tinge of regret about coming, bitterness catching in my throat. Where's my happy ending?
I know true love exists because it lives in poems and books and songs by the smiths. People falling deeply and carefree, finding the one person who completes them. I look over at Stan and Kyle. It might live there too.
I'd like to be the kind of girl who has songs written about her, the centre of someone's universe.
I spent a long time pinning my hopes on Kenny, an unrealistic fantasy to get me through long anthology readings. Only now I know that he's just a misanthropist stoner who just happens to look really good in overalls. All I can do is pine and ache and try not to cry in front of people who'd never let me live it down.
I read my messages through slightly blurry eyes and learn that the girls from the group chat are meeting for cocktails later. What better to pull me out of my slump than martinis?
I quickly RSVP and start mentally outfit-planning to distract myself.

My attention is turned back to the table as all three of their phones ping at the same time.
I raise an eyebrow which Stan notices.
"Guys group chat" he says, filling in the blanks.
"You guys have a chat without me? No fair!" I protest.
"Oh trust me you do not wanna be a part of this" Kyle assures me, flashing me his screen.
"Is that a dick pic?" I ask, horrified, suddenly glad I already finished my food.
"Yep, Clyde is very proud of himself" Stan laughs, gritting his teeth.
"So what's new with the guys then? Other than...that. If I can't witness it firsthand then I at least wanna hear about all of the drama" I demand jokingly, taking another sip of my drink.
"Guys don't have drama" Cartman says, licking his fingers.
"Bullshit" I say, folding my napkin into an origami swan.
"Well... Craig and Tweek got into this big fight and would only communicate via passive aggressive GIF's for a bit. So naturally I asked what their beef was and it turns out Craig had just given Tweek decaf coffee by mistake" Stan explains, making me laugh.
"Well if we're bringing stuff up then Tolkien still won't give me an N word pass" Cartman chips in, annoyed.
"I told you, dumbass, it's not a real thing you put in your wallet it's just-" Kyle starts, exasperated.
"It so is, I know a guy with one you get like...discounts in shops and stuff" Cartman cuts in, doubling down.
"You are so full of shit" Kyle argues, looking entirely fed up.
I can't help but smile.

Afterwards I wave Stan and Kyle off, opting to make my own way home. Mostly to avoid any potential PDA but also because I remember Kenny's house is nearby. I make my way over there, trying to think of a reason for calling. I don't think we're on the friendship terms of surprise visits yet. I do probably need to cancel my driving lesson with him though, I'm not sure what I was thinking in the first place. But then I'd have no reason to keep seeing him...
As I ponder back and forth, tossing about excuses in my head, my train of thought is interrupted by Kenny who is out in the street working on his car.
"Come here often?" He asks, amused.
"Oh, I was just passing through, I just came from lunch with Stan, Kyle and Cartman" I fumble, suddenly shy and forgetting what excuse I was meant to be giving.
He tries to hide his look of disappointment. He comes to stand by me, his tall stature making me even more flustered.
"I have some books in my bag if you wanted to make a dent in studying together?" I offer.
"What's your deal?" He asks suddenly, a slight hostility to his voice.
I blink, slightly taken aback.
"N-nothing, I just thought-"
"Have a good laugh at my expense did you? Tell them about your latest science fair project? Bet Kyle got a kick out of that, the condescending snob" he berates.
"Look whatever your problem is with those guys, you don't have to take it out on me" I snap back, defensive.
"Whatever weird saviour complex you have, keep it away from me. I don't need your help and I definitely don't need your charity. People aren't like cars, you can't fix them" he finishes darkly, starting to walk back towards his house.
"Oh shut up, that was so corny. You act like you have some valiant code of honour, being all brooding and moody like you're better than everyone. This isn't some 90's movie, you're just an asshole!" I shout to his turned back.

I walk home in a huff, tapping out messages to the group chat as I go. Skeeter's Bar here I come.