Meet some friends of mine

Friends

Y/N's POV:
I slowly make my way to Tweek bros coffee shop, dawdling and taking time to think things through. I'm not mad at Kyle. I'm not sure I ever was. I can't believe I cried over him, in front of Kenny too. I cringe at the thought. I hope he still wants to be friends, despite whatever it is I've done wrong. Maybe we just weren't compatible.
I arrive outside the shop and glance through the glass to see Kyle nursing a coffee, brow burrowed deep in thought, frowning occasionally to himself. I push the door open and walk over to his table. He looks up, eyes full of guilt. I'm not going to let him know I'm not mad just yet, I want him to sweat a bit.
"Hey" he whispers
"Hey" I say plainly, not giving anything away.
"Oh God I have no idea where to start. I've really fucked up this time. I've messed you around and it wasn't fair. I'm so sorry I let you get involved with me when I so obviously wasn't emotionally available." He says carefully and remorsefully.
I say nothing so he keeps going to fill the empty space.
"I just need you to know it's not you. It was never you, you're beautiful and wonderful and-"

"If that we're true you wouldn't be leaving me. If I'm so perfect why don't you want me?" I ask bitterly, tears prickling my eyes. Damnit, I wasn't going to cry. "That's obviously just bullshit that everyone says. You won't even give me a straight answer after everything? You coward" I bite out, angrily. I guess I took it more personally than I thought. No one likes the sting of rejection, of not being good enough.

He sighs wearily.

"I know I have no right to ask you for anything but...
I'm going to tell you something and I'd just really appreciate it if you'd keep it to yourself. I understand  if not, I won't be mad, I just...." He trails off, unsure how to approach things. His eyes look so troubled. Good. I'm already planning the message to the girls group chat laughing over whatever he's about to tell me.

"The thing is... it's just that I might be gay. Well not really. Maybe. I don't know. I definitely like guys. Well one guy-"
I blink at him, unable to speak.
"Oh man I know I have to be totally honest here and it sucks. Stan came over last night and...something happened between us. And I know me and you weren't over and I feel so awful about it. And I definitely am not in a place to be asking for favours but if you could just keep Stans name out of it I'd be really grateful. I don't think his parents know he's- well, y'know." He manages, drained. He looks so tired.
He leans in closer, lowering his voice. "And you trusted me with your...uhh...innocence and I stole it and I can never give that back and I'm so so sorry." He finishes, putting his head in his hands, wracked with guilt.
I think back to what Cartman and Kenny said and feel foolish. How did I not see this?
Maybe I just didn't want to.

I can't find the words to say but I can't leave him in suspense, thinking I hate him. I remove his hands from his face and put mine over his.

"You have nothing to apologise for. You didn't steal anything, I'll never regret that night. You were gentle, respectful and... well...a very selfless lover" I smile, making him blush. "It's really not a big deal, promise. You've been nothing but kind to me and I could never hate you" I manage to string together, feeling like there's so much more to say.
"And of course I won't tell anyone, that's yours to tell, no one else's. I just feel shitty about how badly you've been beating yourself up over this.
If I'm honest, I'm relieved. I thought you were dumping me because my boobs were too small or something" I joke. "Also: innocence? Really?" He manages a smile. We sit for a bit, my hands in his.
"Kyle?"
"Yeah?"
"Promise me you'll make a go of it with Stan. Everyone I've spoken to tells me how good you two are together. I'm not going to stand in the way, you don't have to feel bad for moving on so fast, there's nothing to move on from."
He nods weakly. I reach over, grab his coffee and take a sip. "And if you ever fancy another... roll in the hay, just to be sure, I wouldn't be opposed" I joke. He laughs. It's nice to see him looking relaxed again. We take turns sipping on his drink.
"Wanna go annoy Cartman?" I ask as he finishes the mug. We walk to the exit and out into the street.
"I told my mom I'd pick Ike up from his friends house. I'll come online later though" he assures me, taking off.
"You'd better. Actually, ring me, I wanna hear all about last night" I call after him.
"On second thoughts, I might be washing my hair" he shouts back laughing, already halfway down the street.