Dear Sim Jaeyun ⚊ Letter Series #3 ✔

note two

Dear Diary,

As always, my sun didn't notice me today. I tried approaching him but of course, a lot of girls were ahead of me in greeting him in the hall.

It's always like this; me trying to approach and it's like we're practically the tragical story of sun and moon that seldomly touch each other for there is a great distance between the two of us.

I fainted in P.E class today. Like always. Mr. Jeon suggested I should get used more to it, what he means is running laps under the sun. We ended up telling him about my disease since it was essential for me not too push my body too much.

Honestly, even if he told me next to drink my medicine and stay in the bleachers, I didn't. What was the point of feeding your body drugs when my cancer is already terminal?

I would rather swallow more morphine than drink those medicines that would do no wonder in my case.

But there's a silver lining to everything.

Jake took me took the clinic. For the first time he noticed me and asked why I weigh nothing. Maybe he could feel it. I had drastically lost weight over the past few weeks so I must be thinner than before and yet nobody noticed except for him.

If somebody did like the girls in my class, they praised me or either ask about what diet am I doing?

Not knowing how sad it was to hear them worrying about it when I was practically dying. Physically and emotionally.

Jake stayed with me until my adviser came and left without another other than a simple wave.

Later on the day when I felt much better, I left my friends and hang out in the gardens. Our school were making a new one with a maze, they would be done by next year.

Unfortunately I wouldn't be there to see it complete but that didn't stop me from going there where I knew he would turn up to pick flowers for one of the teacher's vase.

And the heaven must be blessing me because upon seeing me, Jake sat by to said hi and asked if I was already alright. Feeling slightly brave for once at the thought of death, so I asked him a question.

"What would you feel about dying?"

It took him a few seconds to process it before blinking and asking back,

"Why? Are you sick?"

After that, I just nodded although I think he just assumed how I am sick for the day because of some simple causes. So he had left me again but not without saying a proper excuse of needing to be back in the classroom.

The same time his back was on me, if only he had looked back like I hoped he would, he'll see the second nosebleed for the day as one of the symptons.

After all, the moon bleeds blood in this life too, not only of watery tears for the sun she can never touch.

And in this story, the moon may never rise again one night.

Sincerely Yours,
Y/N L/N