What's Better Than E?

■44 - Feeling Hopeless■

Laurel stared at her phone with a growing dread and an angry scowl marred on her face. The urge to throw her phone off in some direction was extremely strong but her rational side overpowered it. She was not a rich brat who could afford a new cell phone every day or every time her anger took off from the chimney.

So all this time, he pretended to be someone else and I innocently began liking him. Again. She scoffed as her eyes were filling up with the unshed tears.

She felt beyond stupid to talk about her embarrassing moment during the high school and the fact that she had a crush on him. She wasn't feeling weirded out about him knowing that secret but was rather hurt.

Deep down, she knew that it wasn't his fault that day because her expectations had all assembled together from all those cute love stories she would read about. His fault was not even a fault but she needed to put the blame on him. Put the blame on someone she liked, someone she thought of as her hero. She made that as his fault, as a vessel to channel her inner hurt and anger.

It was then it dawned on Laurel that she was beginning to like the same guy she had liked some three years ago. That's when she realized that she never blamed him for anything except that he was friends with Chloe Deville.

She had a feeling that Ethan had no part in that prank but blaming him felt easy at that time. It was a leeway to not like him. It was easy to forget about him. 

However, no matter what, a really small part of her still believed that he would have known about Chloe's true self, considering they were together almost all the time.

Just like how Laurel was facing a huge dilemma with herself, Ethan, on the other hand, wasn't far behind in his hopeless thoughts either.

He was lying down on his bed as he was pulled back to that day again. Rubbing his index finger on his sweatpants, he thought about how Laurel had abruptly ended the call as soon as he revealed his name.

He didn't want to think about it, he really didn't but that heartbroken expression of hers from that day in high school was still ingrained in his mind.

He had just entered the cafeteria that day when he saw her running past him but not before throwing a disgusted look at him. It was then that he started swimming in guilt for something that he had no clue about, for something that he was not a part of. Only that Chloe, his ex best friend, had been changing her personality and attitude with every person. 

A true chameleon, Ethan thought, frowning.

When Ethan had come to know about Chloe's "infamous prank", he had approached her but what he had learned was far worse. She said that she did all of this to teach Laurel a lesson because she didn't want her to "stare" at him like she liked him.

When he asked her why it mattered to her so much, all she uttered was "because I love you!" and the repulse in Ethan's face was perceptible. He remembered how she'd thrown profanities on him when he told her that he never loved her romantically, nor he ever would.

That was the breaking point of their friendship, not that Ethan minded because he realized how she had treated a lot of people wrongly. Though they were best friends for a long time, he was never made aware of her actual self because she acted so sweet and nice in front of him. The mere thought made him shudder in disgust. She's a supercilious person but he'd made an error in judgement.

Even today, guilt belted him to a chair because Laurel had discarded his apology.

What was even more heartbreaking for him was how fate had cruelly played him. He was beginning to love the same girl who didn't want to do anything with him. If only she would listen to his side of the story.

He wasn't surprised to know about his feelings for her because he enjoyed talking to her. After reading her comic, he knew that he admired the person who wrote it.

A bittersweet smile graced his lips as he looked down at his phone, feeling hopeless. Picking it up, he tried calling her again but to no avail.

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