Her Fragmented Mind

Soft Landings from Hard Falls

Kristin stirred hearing a voice that sounded like her uncle calling out to her, although it took her a few moments to work out what he was saying.

"Ethan, Ethan," he was calling, "wake up sleepy head."

The tone of voice he was using was like that someone would use with a small child. Why was he talking to her like that? Also what is this cold sensation surrounding her that she couldn't quite place?

She moved her arm and heard the tell tale sound of water lapping against the side of a bath tub. This new revelation gave her the mental clarity to push herself to full consciousness. Opening her eyes, she took in the scene around her. She was indeed in the bath, with what appeared to be the remenants of what appeared to be bubbles. There also appeared to be some children's bath toys in the water as well, a classic yellow rubber duck, and a small boat that seemed to double as a squirt gun. To her left stood her uncle who's cheerful facade started to crack as he watched the confusion on his neice's face.

"Uncle Sam, can I have the towel please?" is all she said.

Sam all but dove forward and wrapped his arms around his neice's shoulders and pulled her to him. He let his emotions flow from him, as he held his niece tight against his chest, tears flowing into her wet shoulder. For the longest moment he stayed like this, no wanting to let her go, partly from fear that she would slip away again but also the further she was from him the harder it would be to protect her. However, he tamped down on those feelings not wanting to smother his niece, who was now looking at him with an even more perplexed look on her face. He stood, held out the towel and averted his gaze, as Kristin pulled herself from the grasp of the water.

"I'll be in my study," he said as she took hold of the towel, "if you would like to you talk about it."

With that he left the room, leaving a dripping wet Kristin staring at the space at which he had occupied, the confusion and fear that played out in her mind also writ plain across her face.

Having dried herself and gotten dressed, Kristin went down to her uncle's study. After knocking on the door, she gingerly opened the door to see her uncle seated in one of the two arm chairs that sat on either side of the room facing each other. His head was in his hand, shaggy hair falling down over his face.

"Uncle Sam?" Kristin asked as she entered the roomand sat down in the chair opposite her uncle. She pulled her legs up protectively in front of her as she got comfortable in the chair.

Sam raised his head from his hand and Kristin could see by his eyes that he had been crying, his eyes having red rings around them. Upon seeing his niece, Sam wiped at his eyes and sat up, as he tried to gain a stronger composure. Kristin guessed he wanted to appear as strong as he could for her sake, even though none of this made much sense.

"I'm so sorry," was the first thing Sam said, "for everything you are going through, and have been through."

"What do you mean? What happened?" Kristin asked, confusion lacing each question.

"What is the last thing you remember today? Before waking up in the bath," her uncle asked, trying to be as gentle as possible for fear of triggering some kind of episode.

"Well, I had my appointment with Sofia, and then I was coming home and then..." she trailed off as she tried to recall anything past getting on the bus. Try as she might there was nothing there. A gaping void in her memory, like what had been there had been torn out, fraying everything around it.

"Why can't I remember?" she asked with a hint of fear tinting her voice.

Sam proceeded to retell events as he understood them. That Ethan had been hiding in a park, that he had called Darby who had brought him home. The explanation made sense to Kristin, although left her with no small amount of fear. If it was so easy for her to loose control, it was possible anything could happen to her. She recalled the conversation she had with Sofia Kopf, regarding that disorder, DID. These experiences seemed to match up with some of the explainations she had been given except one thing. Sofia had said that DID forms when a child experiences repeated trauma in their early life, however as far as she could remember she hadn't experienced anything that would be called trauma. Her life hadn't been easy sure, but that trauma filled? That seemed a bit of a stretch. Although she had to admit to herself that there were large portions of her childhood where she couldn't remember anything and others where the memories were very distant to her.

Sam for his part could see the flood of thoughts play out across his niece's face, however he allowed her the space to approach the next part of the conversation at her own pace. There was no sense in rushing her, pushing her to talk about something while she probably didn't even know where her mind was at.

"Is it really possible that I have this disorder, this dissociative identity disorder?" Kristin finally asked, "it seems a bit of a stretch. I mean really, other people living in my head. I don't think I'm that crazy. Am I?"

She looked up at her uncle, seeking some reassurance in his warm dark eyes. What she saw there was like a fire, burning behind his eyes, that held warmth and safety for her, yet a warning to others.

"It does seem possible, especially having met Ethan. Also no I don't think you are crazy. If anything I think you are possibly one of the strongest people I know. To have this happen to you and to survive, no, thrive, just shows you how strong your mind is. I will support you in finding out all the answers to this that I can, I promise you. And as far as I am able, I will stop anything from ever happening again."

Kristin noticed her uncle tense up as he made his declaration, and felt some of the worry and fear slipping from her shoulders hearing his reassurance. She slid herself from the chair and crossed over to her uncle, threw her arms around him and buried her face into his chest. She felt the tension leave her uncle's body as he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

"Thank you Uncle Sam," she said quietly into his chest.

After a couple of minutes Kristin finally let go and stood.

"I should probably message Darby and thank her for helping me today," she said, turning towards the door, "I hope she still wants to talk to me."

With that she left the study and went about the house looking for her phone. She found it on the couch next to her bag. As she picked it up the screen came to life and there was one notification waiting for her.

Darby

Hey, hope everything

went alright after I left

Let me know if u need more

Kristin looked at the message for a short while before grabbing her bag and heading up to her room. As she entered her room she pulled up Darby's number, hesitated for a moment, and then hit dial. There was very little wait before she heard the other girl's voice coming out of the speaker.

"Hey, I was hoping I'd hear from you," came Darby's voice, raising some excitement from Kristin, "although I guess I should ask which you it is?"

Darby giggled at this last statement like it wasn't the world shattering thing Kristin felt it was at that moment.

"Uh, it's me Kristin," she started off hesitantly, "I wanted to thank you for helping me today."

"Are you kidding? Of course I'd help, I couldn't leave Ethan out there all on his own. I'm just glad he figured out how to contact someone that could help," Darby said, her voice giving nothing but a sense of easiness.

Kristin crossed to her bed and lay down, allowing the mattress take some of the weight from her. The easy manner in which Darby mentioned this Ethan rubbed her the wrong way. She felt like her mind was coming apart, that all the gaps were having a spotlight shone on them, and that in the end there would be nothing left. Yet here Darby was, talking about it like it was the morning news.

"How are you ok with this, with any of this?" she asked, "don't you think its crazy? That I'm crazy? If there really are people in my head, what if one is dangerous, aren't you afraid of me?"

She could hear the feintest sigh come through the phone from Darby.

"I don't think you're crazy Kristin. I mean what does that even mean? You have a psych condition thats all. Would you tell someone with any other condition they are crazy? You can't help how your brain dealt with things, but it doesn't mean anything negative about you," Darby said with nothing but honesty in her voice, "remember I've been through this with my other friend. I'd met most of them and not one was an axe murderer or anything. Some of them had their own difficulties but you know, who doesn't?"

Kristin heard a hint of something in the way Darby said that last phrase, like there was some personal truth to that statement that she wasn't revealing.

"What it does mean is there are more potential friends to get to know," Darby said, her voice brightening again, "so what do you say?"

"I guess it couldn't hurt," Kristin replied.