welcome to the divorced!harry fic!! warnings: MC has OCD, mention of a death of a parent, sexual content.
just another clarification: lucía, aka the MC, is NOT harry's ex wife. they did not get a divorce. harry's ex wife is a different person
this is 28k words because i have no self restraint. i don't even want to think about how much i've written this year :D as always, happy reading! and tell me what you think!
also, just as a reminder: i'm poor and you should definitely donate to my ko-fi. link is in my profile. <3
***
LUCÍA
They say staying friends with your ex is a gamble because you'll always have intimate feelings for them. They never do go away, I'll agree with that, but I didn't think about that when Harry and I broke up only because I couldn't imagine life without him after he'd been with me for so long. Meeting someone like Harry was a privilege and I'm not saying that just because we were once together. What Harry brought to our relationship is what he brought to our friendship before and after we were together. His excitement for life put a smile on my face when nothing else would, and it continues to do so.
People say watching your ex move on is heartbreaking, and I agree with this too, but somehow, I've managed. He's dated for two years after me. It's been the same girl. I avoided being alone with them, for my own sanity, but slowly the burning jealous monster inside of me began to cool soon enough. It wasn't an overnight occurrence. It took weeks and months, but that smile on his face made it all better.
Nothing, however, would have prepared me for Harry's wedding day, marrying someone else.
He's always said that he only wants to get married once because it'll be with the right person. I thought that person would be me, but there he was, looking beautiful in his suit, combed back hair, and excited smile. He was unable to stand still for the entirety of the ceremony.
I recall it clearly. He sent me a nervous look and then furrowed his brow when he read the expression on my face. I wouldn't be able to hide my hurt. His eyes went soft and then his expression turned apologetic. I wanted to tell him that I was happy for him, but standing there in the front row next to his sister and mother, I felt anything but happy. I felt stupid in my dress and makeup. I felt angry at myself for not fighting for him harder two years ago. I felt like the love of my life was slipping away and this was my last chance.
Say something, a voice in my head screamed. Say it now!
I opened my mouth. Harry raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. I think he leaned towards me. But then the music began to play and his bride stepped into the room. I tore my eyes from him before he could, unable to stomach the look he was about to give her. My mouth closed and the ceremony proceeded.
This was a year and a half ago. They say that 50 percent of marriages fail, and most fail in the first two years.
Nothing could have prepared me for Harry's wedding, but nothing could have prepared me for Harry's divorce either.
***
November 1
I've been in weird places with Harry at the weirdest hours, but this is a new one. We're in the bathroom stall, Harry's hand hovering over the toilet holding a valuable item that should not seem all that important to him now, but he's hesitating at the last moment. It was my idea to come here after all, the bathroom of a bar at nearly 2 in the morning, but neither of us are drunk and everything has come down to this. All the arguments, all the late nights, all the tears. It ends now.
