Loki's Apprentice: A Tale Retold

Chapter 42: Howling Beast

Evelyn could no longer be confused with what Loki was implying. She opened her mouth to reply, but was stopped short by the sudden stream of tears falling from her cheeks. 

Amongst the sudden joy that she experienced, she had almost missed the dull ache in the recesses of her heart, intensifying and calling for attention finally.

 Much like a terminal disease unknown and concealed within, this pain had laid hidden. But now it throbbed with such an ache that Evelyn could no longer ignore its demands.

It had to be felt.

Loki quickly sprang up, wiping away her tears.

"I'm sorry if I was too forward-" He rushed, chocking on his own emotions. His eyes darting between hers, trying to decipher the meaning behind her sorrow.

"No, its not that." She quickly interrupted, trying to hold back the sob that wanted to escape, "I can't deny that my heart is longing for me to give you my approval."

He cupped her face, his own eyes shinning in sorrowful frustration, "So speak the words so that I may no longer be in such dreadful suspense."

"I can't." she barely whispered, the words coming out more like a soft sob.

Loki ran a shaking hand through his dark hair, forming a fist and tugging at the ends slightly.

"I suppose dancing and marriage aren't so alike as you thought." He said with a light laugh, but it was strangled and forced with bitterness and hurt, "The gravity and commitment of the latter forces one to be more selective in their choice."

There was a moment of silence between the two, before Loki nodded as if deciding something, his lips drawn tight. He made a curt bow, not as graceful as his usual movements, and turned to take his leave. His footsteps echoed loudly, seeming to stab Evelyn's heart with every step.

"No," Evelyn quickly stopped him, grabbing him at his forearm, "You understand me wrong."

"What is there to not understand?" He answered tersely.

Evelyn hated seeing his walls come rushing back up in order to shield the view of his breaking heart.

"There is a difference." She said in a hush.

She swallowed hard, trying to pass the lump that had formed in her throat.

"In dancing with you I have the choice to give myself to you, to which I freely and happily give." She rushed, afraid that he would shut her out once again.

"But in marriage." She stopped, searching his eyes and trying to convey her full meaning through her gaze.

It was a hard task trying to explain the war being waged inside of her, she looked down searching for the right words.

" My heart would forever be torn between joy with the one I love before me," She said squeezing his hands, "and the sorrow of the ones that I will never see again."

With a deep breath she tried to steadied her shaking voice as she added, "I cannot freely give my heart to you, when I have no freedom myself."

She finally looked up, meeting his gaze.

Loki felt as if the air had been forcefully pulled out of his lung, and no amount of his effort could refill that much needed supply. Her words sent him into a guilty haze, his decisions closing in around him to taunt him.

You never changed

They seemed to hiss.

You still torture the innocent for your own gain.