To Be Or Not To Be(Currently ON HOLD)

Nine

Shawn

I was shocked to see her.

She looked even more beautiful than usual in her red dress; red is becoming my favorite color on her.

I was enjoying every second of her being there until she said she had to go.

I wanted to ask why and tell her to stay but when she told me the reason she had to go I was once again hit with the harsh realization that she wasn't mine anymore.

But, she will be, soon.

As she got into the car I wanted to hug her and once again the urge to stop her resurfaced but I stopped myself; again.

I realized she was doing a lot by trying to forgive me.

I haven't forgiven Peter Parker till this day for killing my mother but she was willing to forgive the man who killed her father.

And that's why I decided to try; to try and make her realize that I'm changing for her, to try and be a better person for her cause she's the only person that matters to me.

It felt like the universe was on my side when the storm started out of nowhere.

She was panicking because no matter how hard she tries and, no matter how angry she is at me, she still loves me, and she's scared she's going to hurt Andrew or maybe she's scared I'm going to hurt her.

I just want to scream that I won't but if I was her, even I wouldn't believe me.

I wait for her by the elevator until she comes and stands beside me. She looks comported but I can sense a bit of panic in the air.

I press the button for Trevor's floor and the elevator opens for us to step in. The ride up is quiet and the walk to the door is even more silent, the only sound between us being the storm outside that imitates the one in my head.

Paula opens the door and I see a wave of relief wash over her.

"I was so worried about you, I thought you were already out in the storm." Paula says.

"It started before she could leave so I asked her to spend the night." I say and walk into the apartment.

"That's a good idea and the only option right now." Trevor says closing the door behind Jerma.

"I can't believe I'm going to miss Mrs Anderson's Christmas dinner." Jerma says.

"You should probably call Andrew." Paula says.

"You're right." Jerma says and I move further into the apartment to the kitchen.

Jerma grabs her phone from her coat pocket and dails. After a while she sighs and dails again.

"It says the number is unavailable." She says after the third try and as if on cue the lights go off and everywhere turns pitch black.

I manuever my way through the darkness until I find the flashlight and turn it on.

"The forecast was not wrong." Paula says.

"They were wrong about the one thing I needed them to be right about." Jerma says bitterly.

"Well then I guess we'll be having a typical old school Christmas dinner; candles and shit." Trevor says beaming.

"Splendid, let's set the table." Paula says happily as she takes Trevor's hand, leading him to the kitchen.

I glance at Jerma and I catch her biting down on her lower lip. My eyes linger on that action a second too long and the by the time I look away she's already looking at me.