Notice Me

17

"Mom?" I pushed my plate away, watching the way my mom stopped her moments, likely from the apprehension in my voice.

"Yes?" She smiled at me, drying the plate she had just been running under the water to rinse. She titled her head as she observed me, her face not moving as she tried to gage just what I was about to say.

"What were you like in high school?" I asked her, and I knew from the way her eyebrows raised that she was surprised by my question. I knew it seemed like it was coming out of no where, but since I came home from the cemetery, Seren hadn't left my brain.

Henry's words from my dream were haunting me. The more I thought about them, the more terrified I became. I've been tracing over her behaviour from the last six months, rethinking and analyzing each and every alarming thing she's done. I've been comparing them all with Henry's last few months, and the similarities were astounding.

Was Henry telling me that she was on the same path that he was? Was he trying to make me see that she was destined for the same fight? Was she going to fall, as he said, into the tragic fate of suicide, just as he did?

And, a part of me knew that it wasn't really Henry telling me that. Though, perhaps it was easier to believe that it was. Maybe it was easier because Henry wasn't here anymore, he was above us. He had a birds eye view. Perhaps, him and fate have had lunch together, and she's shared all her plans with him. It was easier to think that, it was easier to believe that.

The alternative was what Cassidy had said. It wasn't really Henry. It was me. I was trying to tell myself that Seren was losing her grip on reality more and more everyday. The problem with knowing that it was my own advice, was that I was a lot less trustworthy than Henry.

"What was I like in high school?" My mom repeated my question, her voice peaking high at the end of the question as if she was talking to herself. She let out a short breath, before abandoning the rag she had in her hands. She walked toward me instead, pulling out the chair beside me and taking a seat.

"I guess," she continued, "the answer changes depending on what information you're looking for."

"Did you have lots of friends?" I specified my question so that I didn't need to tell her my true intentions.

"Well," she paused as she seemingly looked back on her teenage years. "I wasn't the most popular girl in school if that's what you're asking. I did have some friends, though. I had some really dear friends that meant the world to me. Kind of like you, Gavin and Osiris."

I nodded, though that didn't ease the worry that was inside of me. "Do you think it's normal to have friends like that in high school? Or do you think we were just lucky?"

My moms eyes flashed with alarm, she pursed her lips together. "You know I can help you more if you tell me what's going on."

"Is it that obvious?" I shook my head, my lips raising in my own pity smile.

"Well, I have known you since birth," she laughed. "Your birth, not mine."

"Well, I figured," I joked with her, noting the way her eyes had taken back the loving way she used to look at me. Before Henry died and she began to only look at me with worry.

"What's going on Zane?" She asked me, patting her hand on my knee. "Did you and the guys have a fight?"

"No," I breathed out. "It's not about them. It's, well... it's about this girl at West Bridge."

"Okay," she nodded, "and this girl... she doesn't have any friends?"

"I'm not sure," I told her honestly.

"I won't be able to solve these riddles, darling, without more information," she responded, giving me the same look I had seen a thousand times from her before.

"Okay, okay," I sighed. "There's this girl..."

"Does this girl have a name?" She smiled as she asked.

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "Yes, she has a name."

"Is her name private information, or am I inner circle enough to hear it?"

I rolled my lips together. "Her name is Seren."

"Seren? Pretty name. Pretty girl to go with it?"

I just stared at her, willing my face to remain blank as to not give her any clues. She narrowed her eyes at me, no doubt she was trying to read my reaction. Seemingly, she succeeded, because she raised one of her eyebrows in triumph.

"Pretty girl indeed. So, what's worrying you about her?"

"Well, she hangs out with Cain and the rest of them," I told her, her face flicking in understanding. I had told her about them, of course, conveniently leaving out Seren. She had met Cain a few times, when he's come to the house.

"But... I don't know. She seems lonely. I found out today that her mom died. She seems... sad. She seems a little lost," I rambled out, trying to tell my mom just enough information without spilling all of my worries.

"Oh poor girl," she shook her head, frowning. "That must have been so hard for her. And, you say she doesn't have friends? But, you said she hangs out with Cain and his friends?"

"It's complicated," I shrugged, knowing just how complicated it was.

"And what's stopping you from being her friend?" She asked with pointed eyes.

I stilled, asking her question again, but to myself. There were reasons, of course, but there was one reason that was the most compelling.

Seren was like a wildflower in the middle of a green meadow. She was the only flower there, a thick white fence around the border. There was no entrance in, and I wasn't sure if there was an exit out. Not only did I have no idea how to enter the meadow, I had no idea what to do even if I could. I couldn't grow beside her, because quite simply, I'm not a wildflower, and I couldn't grow beside her.

And, with all of the people trying to pick her, to take her away from the meadow and place her in a crystal vase on their kitchen table for show- she needed someone to grow beside her.

But, how?

"I'll tell you this, Zane. I know I don't need to tell you what to do with girls, especially pretty ones," she gave me a playfully exasperated look. "But I can tell you this. Sometimes what someone needs the most is to know that someone is there for them. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is show someone that you see them."

I nodded, her words sinking into my brain. She was right, of course she was, but that wasn't why they were so important. They were the same words I had let into the air earlier today.

I had told Henry them, but I told them to him too late.

I had never told him that I saw him.

Instead, I had to apologize to him for not seeing him.

And I couldn't make that mistake again.